简单的英语笑话及翻译
冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象，越来越受到大家的关注，尤其在网络、杂志、微博、电影上十分盛行。下面是本站小编整理的简单的英语笑话及翻译，欢迎阅读!
世界上最伟大的击剑手
At an exhibition of the world’s best swordsmen，the third一place fencer took the stage. A fly was released，and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half. The crowd cheered. Then the second一place man sliced a fly into quarters. A hush fell in anticipation of the world's greatest swordsman. His blade came down in a mighty arc- but the insect continued on its way! The crowd was aghast. The greatest swordsman had missed his target completely, yet he continued to smile.
在一场世界最佳击剑手表演中，排名第三的击剑手上场了。一只苍蝇放了出来，剑划了一个弧，他将苍蝇劈成了两半。观众欢呼起来。紧接着排名第二的人将一只苍蝇切成了四半。现场一阵沉默，人们期盼着世界上最伟大的剑手出场。他的剑锋以一个巨大的弧线划了下来—然而那只昆虫还在继续飞行!观众被惊呆了。最伟大的剑手完全错过了他的目标，然而他还在微笑着。
"Why are you so happy?" someone yelled." You missed!”
“你为什么这样高兴?”有人嚷道，“你没击中啊!”
"Ah ,”replied the swordsman," yon weren’t watching very carefully. The fly lives yet, yes but he will never be a father.”
“啊，”剑手答道，“你刚才没有很仔细地看。苍蝇还活着，是的—但他永远也做不成爸爸了。”
简单的英语笑话及翻译篇二你一个，我一个
One late autumn evening two boys, having collected sack full of chestnuts, decided to share them out in a graveyard. On their way in one of the boys dropped the sack and two of the cockers rolled out. "We' Il get those later,” he said, and in they went to divide up the remainder. As they were counting them out a small girl happened to be crossing the graveyard，and to her horror she heard from behind a bush a voice say, "one for you , one for me. One for you , one for me” In terror she rushed to the gate and bumped into a policeman, "what' s the matter, little girl?" he asked, for she was obviously in great distress.
一个深秋的晚上，两个男孩捡了一袋栗子准备到墓地里去平分。在进去的路上，一个男孩不小心把袋子掉在了地上，两颗栗子滚了出去。“我们过会儿再来找。”他说。他们就进去分其余的栗子。在他们分栗子时，碰巧有一个小姑娘从墓地穿过。她惊恐万分地听到树丛后面有个声音在说:“你一个，我一个，你一个，我一个!”她吓得急忙跑到门口，正撞上一个警察。警察见她万分恐惧，就问:“小姑娘，出了什么事了?”
"Oh, Mr. Policeman!" She wailed, "there're ghosts in the graveyard, and they're sharing out the dead bodies! Listen!”
“噢，警察先生。”她哭着说，“墓地里面有鬼，他们在分死尸呢!你听!”
And as she held a trembling finger to her lips they heard a voice say, "one for you, one for me. And we mustn’t forget those two by the gate!”
她把颤抖的手指竖在嘴唇前，这时他们听见一个声音说:“你一个，我一个，咱们可别忘了门口那两个!”
简单的英语笑话及翻译篇三I've Just Bitten My Tongue
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么?”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
简单的英语笑话及翻译篇四你爸爸是做什么的?
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"
一位年级老师问学生们的父母是做什么的，
“蒂姆，你先说”，老师说到，“你妈妈每天都做些什么呢?”
Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."
蒂姆站起来，骄傲的回答道，“她是一名医生。”
"That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?"
“太棒了!那么，你呢，艾米?”
Amie shyly stood up, scuffed1 her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."
艾米害羞地站起来，一边磨脚一边说到，“我爸爸是个邮递员。”
"Thank you, Amie," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?"
“谢谢你，艾米”，老师说到，“比利，你的爸爸是做什么的呢。”
Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy murders people, steals from them, and drinks."
比利自豪地站起来，大声回答：“我爸爸杀人，抢劫，还酗酒。”
The teacher was aghast and promptly2 changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and asked if there might be some logical explanation.
老师惊慌失色，随即把话题转换到地理上。那天晚上，老师来到比利家，摁响了门铃。比利爸爸开的门。老师陈述了他儿子说过的话，并且问到是否有个合理的解释。
Billy's father said, "I'm actually an attorney. But how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?
比利爸爸说，“我确实是名律师，但是我该怎么向一个7岁的小孩解释法律案件呢”
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