爲什麼我們要學會寬容?

Research and personal observations showthatthe person who forgives is happier and perhaps even healthier. While thegoalof forgiving may be noble, the effects are concrete.

研究和個人觀察表明，寬容待人不僅讓人們感到更幸福快樂，或許還可以讓人們變得更加健康。雖然我們寬容可能僅僅是爲了顯得高尚，但這帶來的效果確實實實在在的。

Richard Fitzgibbons cites these benefitstothe one who forgives:

Richard Fitzgibbons提到以下這些寬容待人獲得的好處：

·decreased levels ofanger and hostility;

·更好地緩解憤怒和敵意；

·increased feelingsof love;

·更好地感受愛與被愛；

·improved ability tocontrol anger;

·更好地控制怒火；

·enhanced capacity totrust;

·更好地相信別人；

·freedom from thecontrol of events of the past;

·更好地走出過去的陰影；

·no longer repeatingnegative behaviors;

·更好地避免重蹈覆轍；

·improved physicalhealth;

·更好地提高身體健康水平；

·significantimprovement in psychiatric disorders;

·更好地改善精神紊亂；

On the other hand, one who cannot forgivemaycontinue to suffer endlessly.

反而言之，一個不懂寬容的人或許會不斷在無盡的痛苦中煎熬。

"The man who opts for revenge shoulddigtwo graves."
Chinese proverb

中國有句諺語——“尋仇之人須存玉碎之心”。

From the work of Roy F. Baumeister,JulieJuola Exline, and Krisin L. Sommer come these findings: There is anemotionalcost of refusing to forgive. If the perpetrator is someone the injuredpartymust continue to see, each contact with the offender will cause the victimtofeel upset again. Continuing to feel angry toward distant or deadperpetrators,over transgressions that cannot be changed, does nothing but makethe injuredparty miserable. Forgiveness would release the victim, and would bea welcomerelief.

Roy F. Baumeister、Julie Juola Exline和KrisinL. Sommer的研究發現：對他人的不寬容需要付出情感代價。如果被傷害的一方不得不繼續和犯錯的人打交道，那麼每一次與之聯繫都會讓被傷害者感到心煩意亂。而如果犯錯者不再聯繫或已經故去，那麼對那些已經發生而無法改變的錯誤無法釋懷只會讓人更痛苦。對他人寬容不僅可以減輕自己的傷痛，也會讓他人感到欣慰和慰藉。