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做個聆聽者:10招改掉愛插嘴的壞毛病

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We've All been there — an amazing idea pops into your head and, without even realizing it, you've interrupted whomever is speaking to share your thought.
我們都有過這樣的經歷——當一個精彩的點子從我們腦子裏蹦出來的時候,我們就會當即向別人分享自己的這一想法,甚至沒有意識到我們正在打斷別人。

Talking over others stops the flow of conversation and is also disrespectful to the person speaking. This faux pas is forgivable from time to time, but when it becomes a persistent characteristic, interrupting may cost you your job. and even a few friends.
打斷別人說話阻礙了談話的順利進行,並且顯得對說話者不尊重。這種失禮的行爲有時候會被對方原諒,但是如果演變爲一種習慣就會使你丟掉自己的飯碗,甚至失去朋友。

Along with learning how to be patient, retraining your brain to change how it responds to instant ideas can curb your interrupting ways. Here are a few tips to take into consideration:
除了學習怎樣使自己變得更有耐心,你還要重新訓練自己的大腦,改變其對突發靈感的反應,這樣你便能控制自己而不去打斷別人。你可以考慮一下下面的幾招。

做個聆聽者:10招改掉愛插嘴的壞毛病

e it down: When listening, if a great thought comes to mind, discretely write it down in a notebook while keeping up with the conversation, especially when meeting with senior managers or important clients. Wait for a break in conversation before asserting your opinion or new ideas.
1.記下你的想法:當你在傾聽時,如果你想到了一個好點子,那就一邊聽對話在講什麼一邊把你的想法記下來,特別是在傾聽高級管理層或是重要客戶講話的時候。等到休息的時間再表達自己的觀點或新點子。

a question: Instead of busting someone's talking flow, wait until the end of a thought and share your view phrased as a question. Yes, you're still cutting in, but asking a question creates an opportunity to offer new ideas and thoughts while sticking with the direction of the discussion.
2.採取詢問的方式:等一個新點子在你腦中從出現到成形後用一種提問的方式向對方表達出來,而不是直接打斷別人的談話。這樣,你依然是在插話,但是使用詢問的方式給你表達新點子提供了機會,同時沒有改變你們談話的方向。

help: Enlist an office buddy or good friend to tip you off when you interrupt. Come up with a special hand signal or give your helper the OK to deliver a swift kick under the table to curb your interrupting ways.
3.尋求幫助:尋求一名辦公夥伴或者是好朋友在你打斷別人時給你提示。可以想出一個特殊的手勢或者允許你的幫手在你打斷別人時在桌下及時踢你一腳。

a breath: The next time you have an idea you can't contain, simply open your mouth and take a quick, short breath. This tricks the mind into thinking that you've expressed yourself, creating a moment to focus and write the idea down instead of blurting it out.
4.呼吸法:下一次當你有了新點子沒法控制自己不說出口時,只要張開嘴巴做一個短促的呼吸。這將會使你的大腦誤以爲你已經表達了自己的觀點,並且給你時間去思考和記下自己的點子,而不是不假思索地說出口。

tice impulse control: Keeping your impulse control in check is the key to curbing the bad habit of interrupting. When you have the urge to interrupt, do something to forget. Remove a ring from one finger and put it on another, make an X on a sheet of paper, or simply count to 10 in your head. Before you know it, you'll be able to comfortably control your need to interrupt.
5.控制衝動:抑制自己的衝動是抑制打斷別人的壞習慣的關鍵所在。當你很想打斷別人時,做點其他事轉移注意力。可以把你的戒指從一隻手指移到另一隻手指上,或者在紙上打個叉,亦或者在心中默數十下。那麼在你沒有意識到的情況下,你就很輕鬆地控制住了想要打斷別人的衝動。 focused: If you're in a business meeting and having a hard time keeping things to yourself, focus by taking meticulous notes. While writing down what's happening, include your personal thoughts and unique ideas to share at the appropriate time.
6.集中注意力:如果在一個商業會議中你很難憋住不談自己的想法,那麼就通過記載詳細的筆記來集中注意力。在記下會議上討論的內容的同時,記下自己的個人觀點和獨特的想法,然後在適當的時機與他人分享。

the best listener in the room: When you get the itch to interrupt, change the focus to the speaker and transform into the best listener in the room. Nod along, maintain eye contact, and lean into the speaker to show you're listening. This encourages the brain to connect with your auditory skills instead of brainstorming.
7.做全辦公室最好的傾聽者:當你心癢癢地想打斷別人時,把你的注意力轉移到發言者的身上,並且成爲全辦公室最好的傾聽者。在發言人講話時不斷點頭,保持與發言人的眼神交流,並且身體斜向他,以此來表明你在認真聽他講話,這會使你的大腦調用聽覺而不是進行頭腦風暴。

ogize: The minute you interrupt, apologize sincerely, then immediately stop talking. Acknowledging you've butted in leaves a smart impression. Just make sure to not repeat the mistake.
8.道歉:在你打斷別人說話後立即真誠地道歉,然後保持沉默。向別人承認自己的插嘴會給對方留下聰明的印象。之後要確保自己不再犯同樣的錯誤。

it: That's right, zip it. During important meetings, or even casual lunches with your favorite friends, keep your mouth closed while others are talking. Imagine your lips are permanently sealed until you're asked a question or the conversation is directed to you.
9.把嘴巴拉上拉鍊:是的,給嘴巴拉上拉鍊。在重要的會議上,或是和好朋友進行休閒午餐,在別人說話時讓自己閉嘴。想象你的嘴脣被永遠地縫上了,除非回答問題或者話題是針對你的,你纔可以開口。

for it: Part of being a good sharer is being a smart listener. Focus on the speaker's sentence structure and style of speech. You'll pick up on clues, such as a deep breath after finishing a thought or the shuffling of papers when moving onto a new topic, tipping you off to the right time for sharing ideas and opinions.
10.等待時機:一個聰明的傾聽者通常能成爲一個好的觀點分享者。注意發言人講話的句式和演講風格,你將很容易觀察到一些線索,比如在發言者表達完一個想法後深呼吸,或者發言者翻動文件以進入下一個話題,這些都給了你提示,在最合適的時機分享自己的想法和觀點。