超級爆笑英語笑話大全
笑話是幽默的一個屬概念 ,具有幽默的一切特徵。笑話是民族特有幽默的一種形式。小編精心收集了超級爆笑英語笑話，供大家欣賞學習!
很高興認識你
During World War Two, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
第二次世界大戰期間，英國的許多青年婦女在軍中服役。瓊·菲利普斯就是其中的一個。她在一個大軍營裏工作，自然結識了許多男人，既有軍官，又有士兵。
One evening she met Captain Humphrey at a dance. He said to her, "I' m going abroad tomorrow, but I'd be very happy if we could write to each other.” Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.
一天晚上，她在舞會上認識了漢弗萊茲上尉。他對她說:“明天我將出國，如果我們能相互通信，我將非常高興。”瓊同意了。他們書信來往，數月不斷。
Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.
後來他的來信中斷了，但她收到另一位軍官的來信，信中告訴她漢弗萊茲受了傷，現住在英國某陸軍醫院裏。
Joan went there and said to the matron, "I've come to visit captain Humphrey.”
瓊找到那家醫院，對護士長說:“我來探望漢弗萊茲上尉。”
Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
“這裏只允許親屬探望病人。”護士長說。
“Oh, that' s all right，”answered Joan." I'm his sister.”
“哦，那好吧，”瓊回答說:“我是他妹妹。”
"I’m very pleased to meet you ,”the matron said，"I' m his mother!”
“很高興認識你，”護士長說:“我是他的母親。”
超級爆笑英語笑話篇二向老外借錢發音不準所鬧的笑話
上午10點，coffee break. 由於早上沒吃早飯，肚子有點餓。來到lunch room, 便想從 售貨機裏買包 peanut butter cracker (0.5美元)充飢。掏出錢包一看，錢包裏只有一個quarter (老婆真夠可以的)，心想，這下慘了, 又不能刷卡。
看到同一辦公室的老美同事Stephen (65歲左右)正坐在那裏喝咖啡，於是便衝他喊道 ：“Stephen, do you have a dollar?”
Stephen: I have three.
Me: One is enough.
Stephen: Too late.
Me : ??? (Too late? 他花了?還是他不願意借?老美真夠小氣的，一塊錢都不願意借)。
沒辦法，只好又到另一個辦公室找一中國人借了一塊錢。
回到售貨機旁，剛想把錢塞進去，Stephen 走了過來：“Oh, I thought you were asking for my daughter”.
超級爆笑英語笑話篇三蘇格蘭人和售票員
A Scotsman, carrying a huge suitcase, has been riding a London bus for five miles along its route, all the while attempting to avoid the ticket collector.
一個蘇格蘭人拎着一個很大的箱子，在開往倫敦的公交車上，這輛車已經行駛了五英里了。他時刻都想着避開售票員逃票。
Finally, the conductor manages to corner him and tells him to pay up: "You've been on for five miles一that’ll be 50 pennies, please, and 10 pennies for your suitcase.”
後來售票員還是發現了他，叫他補票。“你已經坐了五英里了，5O便士，你的箱子還要交10便士。”
The Scotsman responds: "I haven’t, I want to have a penny fare，just got on this very moment.” They begin to argue, and the ticket collector become more and more enraged and finally, as the bus is passing over London bridge, he grabs the Scotsman’s suitcase, and hurls it out of the bus.
那個蘇格蘭人答道:“我沒有，我剛剛纔上來，我想只掏一便士的車錢。”於是他們開始吵了起來，售票員越聽越生氣。最後當車子行駛到倫敦大橋時他抓起蘇格蘭人的那個大箱子順着車窗扔了出去。
It lands in the river and sinks without a trace. The Scotsman stands shocked for a moment and says to the ticket collector, "Not only are you treat to overcharge me for the ticket一but now you're gone a drowned my boy Jenny.”
箱子掉進了河裏沉了下去。那個蘇格蘭人在那裏怔了片刻，然後對售票員說:“你不但想超收我的車錢，還淹死了我的兒子強尼。”
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