適合小學啓蒙階段的英語小笑話謎語
與一般日常會話不同,笑話刻意違反合作原則,由此衍生出會話含意,並利用會話含意之間的衝突實現其預定功能。下面是本站小編帶來的適合小學啓蒙階段的英語小笑話，歡迎閱讀!
(一)
給我捎杯牛奶
At 2 a. m. Mrs. Culkin was convinced that she had heard a prowler in the living-room. Tiptoedown-stairs, she told her husband, "Don' t turn on the lights. Sneak up him before he knowswhat's happening."Dutifully Mr. Culkin put on his robe. Just as he reached the bedroom door,his wife added, "And when you come back, bring me a glass of milk."
半夜兩點，科爾肯太太確信聽到客廳有賊，便對丈夫說：“別開燈，躡手躡腳下樓，別讓賊發覺，悄悄靠近他。” 科爾肯先生披上外套，責無旁貸地去捉賊。剛走到臥室門口，他妻子又補充說：“回來時給我捎杯牛奶。”
(二)
跟媽媽一模一樣的女朋友
No matter which girls he brought home, the young man found disapproval from his Mother. Afriend gave him advice."Find a girl just like your mother -- then, she's bound to like her." Sothe young man searched and searched, and finally found the girl. He told his friendlyadviser:"Just like you said, I found a girl who looked, talked, dressed, and even cooked likemother, And just as you said, mother liked her". "So," asked the friend, "whathappened?""Nothing," said the young man. " My father hates her!".
有個小夥子發現，無論他帶什麼女孩子回家，媽媽都不贊成。一位朋友建議他，“你找一個像你母親一樣的女孩吧——你母親肯定會喜歡她的”。這個小夥子就找啊找啊，終於找到了一個女孩。他告訴自己的朋友：“就像你說的，我找到了一個女孩，無論在感覺、說話、打扮，甚至烹飪手藝都很像母親的，而且真的像你說的那樣，媽媽很喜歡她。”“那麼，”他的朋友問到，“發生了什麼事?”“沒事，”小夥子說，我父親很討厭她!”
適合小學啓蒙階段的英語小笑話閱讀(一)
那個"甜嘴"老公的真相
Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request tohis wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. 伯尼被邀請到朋友家吃晚餐。莫里斯，也是請客的主人，在每個客人面前都稱他的妻子爲親愛的、我的愛人、甜心等等。
Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after all these years that youhave been married, and you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head andwhispered," To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."
伯尼於是對莫里斯說：“你真是很好，結婚這麼多年後，你還是喊你妻子這麼甜蜜的名字。”莫里斯則彎下腰來對伯尼輕聲說：“告訴你實情吧，我3年前就忘記她的名字了。”
(二)
一公司的奸商
When my printer's type began to go faint, I called a repair shop where a friendly man told methat the printer probably needed only to be cleaned.
由於我的打印機不能打印出清晰的字來，我就打電話給維修部。電話是一位非常和藹的男人接的，他說我的打印機也許只是需要清理一下。
Because the shop charged 50 pounds for such cleanings, he told me, it would be better for meto read the printer's directions and try the job myself.
他還說，如果讓維修部清理的話要交50英鎊的清理費，讓我最好看看使用手冊自己試着清理。
Pleasantly surprised by his words, I asked, "Does your boss know that you discouragebusiness?"
當時我真的被他的話感動了，就問他：“你們老闆知道你這樣拒絕生意麼?”
"Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied. "We usually make more money on repairs ifwe let people try to repair things themselves first."
“事實上，這就是我們老闆的主意，”僱員答道：“因爲如果我們讓用戶先自行修理打印機的話就能掙更多的錢。”
關於適合小學啓蒙階段的英語小笑話(一)
相親,逃跑的好藉口
After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date.
和相親對象呆了一晚上後，男人再也受不了了。
Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have anexcuse to leave.
他事先安排了個朋友給他打電話，這樣他就能借故先離開了。
When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I havesome bad news. My grandfather just died."
當他回到桌邊，他垂下眼睛，裝出一副陰沉的表情，說：“有個不幸的消息，我的祖父剛剛去世了。”
"Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"
“謝天謝地!”他的約會對象說，“如果你的祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了!”
(二)
奈何娶妻不慎
Gravely ill, a man went to the doctor with his wife. After the examination the physician motioned for the wife to meet him in the hallway.
一個人得了重病，妻子伴隨他去看醫生。檢查過後，醫生示意病人的妻子到走廊見他。
"Your husband is very sick, " the doctor said, "but there are three things you can do to ensure his survival. First, fix him three healthful, delicious meals a day. Next, give him a stress-free environment , and don't complain about anything. Finally, make passionate love to him every day.
“你丈夫病得很重，”醫生說，“但有三件事可保住他的性命。第一，一日三餐，要營養美味。第二，給他一個輕鬆的環境，不要抱怨。第三，每天都對他傾注熾熱的愛。”
On the drive home the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?"
在驅車回家的路上，丈夫問道：“醫生說了什麼?”
"I'm sorry, " she said, "but you're not going to make it.
“很遺憾，”她說，“你活不成了。”
