簡短英文笑話大全爆笑
冷笑話作爲一種新興的語言現象，越來越受到大家的關注，尤其在網絡、雜誌、微博、電影上十分盛行。本站小編整理了簡短的爆笑英文笑話，歡迎閱讀!
Change of Plan
臨時改變主意
Frank and Fred had received their draft notices on the same day, and neither wanted to enterthe army.
法蘭克和佛烈德兩人同一天收到召集令，兩人都不想去服兵役。
But Frank had heard that the army would not accept anyone without teeth, so they both had alltheir teeth pulled.
但法蘭克曾經聽人說軍中不收沒有牙齒的人，因此他們兩人都把所有的牙齒給拔掉了。
On the day of their medical exam, Frank and Fred got in line, but a huge, hairy, smelly truckdriver cut in between them.
在體格檢查那天，他們兩人排在同一排隊伍，可是有一個大塊頭、滿身毛髮而且臭味難當的卡車司機插在他們中間。
As Frank got up to the head of the line, he announced to the inspecting sergeant that he hadno teeth.
當法蘭克排到隊伍的前頭時，他對檢查的班長說他沒有牙齒，
The sergeant had Frank open his mouth, ran his forefinger over the raw gums and said,
那名士官要他張開嘴巴，接着用食指在他紅腫的牙齦繞了一圈後說道：
"Sure enough, you don’t. You’re rejected. "
“沒錯，你沒牙齒，不用當兵!”
Turning to the truck driver, he asked, 'What's your problem?"
接着輪到卡車司機，士官說：“你有什麼問題嗎?”
The trucker said, "I've got a tremendous case of the piles."
卡車司機說道：“我患有嚴重的痔瘡。”
The sergeant had the fellow bend over, inserted his fore finger and rotated it aroundthoroughly,
班長要那個傢伙彎下身去，用他的食指在肛門轉了一整圈後說道：
"Sure enough, you've got a bad case. Rejected!"
“沒錯，你的情形很嚴重，不合格!”
Turning to Fred, the sergeant demanded, "And what's your problem?"
再輪到佛烈德時，班長又問：“那你的問題是什麼?”
Staring at the forefinger, Fred replied, "Nothing at all, sergeant, nothing at all. "
凝視着他的食指，佛烈德答道：“沒什麼問題，班長，我一點問題也沒有。”
簡短的爆笑英文笑話篇二You Do Have a Problem
你真是有問題了!
A man reported to his doctor that he was having trouble going to the bathroom.
一位老兄對醫生說明他上廁所有困難。
"Do you urinate in the morning?" asked the doctor.
“你早上有小便嗎?，’醫生問他。
"Yeah, every morning at six o'clock. "
“有，每天早上六點鐘。”
"And how are your bowel movements?"
“那大便情況如何?"
"Seven o'clock every morning, just like clockwork. "
“像時鐘一樣，我每天準時七點鐘上大號。”
"So what's the problem?"
“那問題到底出在哪裏呢?"
"I don't get up until eight. "
“我八點鐘才起牀。”
簡短的爆笑英文笑話篇三Home Sweet Home
還是家裏好
A surgeon returned from a safari in Africa.
一位外科醫生剛從非洲狩獵回來。
"How did it go?" asked his colleagues.
“這次打獵順利嗎?”同僚問道。
"Oh , it was very disappointing," replied the surgeon.
“喔，實在太令人失望了，”外科醫生答道。
"I didn't kill a thing. In fact, I'd have been better off staying here in the hospital. "
“我什麼也沒獵殺到，實際上，還是待在醫院裏比較有成就感。”
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