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初一爆笑英文笑話大全

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笑話作爲一種城市化的民間口頭創作體裁,是一種重要的交際手段。笑話可能只是文字遊戲,但有時它在人們解決生活中的困惑時起着重要作用。本站小編整理了初一爆笑英文笑話,歡迎閱讀!

初一爆笑英文笑話大全
  初一爆笑英文笑話:The purpose of the propeller 飛機螺旋槳的用處

A: "What's the purpose of the propeller?"

B: "To keep the pilot cool. If you don't think so, just stop it and watch him sweat!"

A:飛機的螺旋槳有什麼用?

B:爲了保持飛行員涼爽。不信的話,只要停止螺旋槳轉動看看飛行員會不會滿頭大汗。

  初一爆笑英文笑話:No connection with medicine 與藥無關

When the sick man entered the consulting room, the doctor smiled and said: "I am glad to see that you look much better today."

"Yes, I followed the direction on your medicine bottle," replied the sick man. The doctor asked: "What were they?"

The sick man replied: "Keep the bottle tightly corked(用軟木塞塞住)."

病人走進診室時,醫生笑着說:“我很高興你今天看起來好多了。”

“是的,我是按照你給我的藥瓶上的說明做的,” 病人回答說。醫生問道:“什麼說明呀?”

病人回答說:“把藥瓶一直用軟木塞緊緊地塞住。”

  初一爆笑英文笑話:An Arrogant Officer 傲慢的軍官

A private didn't notice a young lieutenant and failed to salute him. The lieutenant said sternly, "You did not salute me. For this you must immediately salute one hundred times."

Just then the general came up. When he saw the poor private about to begin, he exclaimed, "What's all this?"

The lieutenant explained, "This ignoramus(無知的人) failed to salute me. I'm making his salute one hundred times as a punishment.”

"Quite right," replied the general smiling, "But do not forget, sir, that upon each occasion you are to salute return."

有個士兵沒有注意到一個年輕的陸軍中尉,沒有向他敬禮。中尉很嚴厲地對那個士兵說:“你沒有向我敬禮,因此你要馬上敬100個禮。”

這時候將軍過來了。他看到那個可憐的士兵就要開始敬禮時,就大聲問道:“這是怎麼啦?”

中尉解釋說:“這個蠢貨沒有向我敬禮,我就罰他馬上向我敬一百個禮。”

將軍笑着說:“完全正確。不過,老弟,別忘了他向你每敬一個禮,你都要回禮的啊!”

  初一爆笑英文笑話:Try the hat 試帽子

A woman was busy making an Irish stew(燉肉) when her husband came in from work, and offered to help her, "You can't help much," said the woman, "but you might get me a turnip." "What size?" asked the man. "Oh, about the size of your head," said the woman, irritably(暴躁地). The man was away for some time, and then he came back carrying a turnip. His wife received him with a broad grin. "What are you laughing at?" he asked. "Why," said the wife, "Jack Smith called to tell me that he'd seen you in the field at the back trying your hat on a lot of turnip."

一個女人在她丈夫回家的時候正忙着做愛爾蘭燉肉,她的丈夫過來幫忙。“你幫不了什麼忙啊”,女人說,“不過你可以遞給我一個甘藍.” “多大的?”男人問。“哦,和你腦袋一樣大,”女人不耐煩地說。這個男人離開了一會,然後拿着一個甘藍回來。他的妻子咧着嘴笑着把甘藍接過來。“你在笑什麼?”他問,“傑克史密斯打電話告訴我,他回家的時候看見你在田地裏把帽子放在很多甘藍上面試。”

  初一爆笑英文笑話:Picking it to pieces 吹毛求疵

An art critic was used to criticizing very severely and in a very detailed way.

When he was commenting on one painting and then on another in the gallery, he pointed at a picture and said: "It's showing a marked lack of technique and understanding. Look! Those trees seem to have no form, and the grass has not roots. And here you see the artist had attempted to draw a fly to catch the public eye, I would not disapprove of it if he had been able to draw it better and made it like a fly. But this fly looks like a lump of mud and has not the character of a fly."

At this point while the critic was still rambling, the fly on that picture suddenly look wing and flew away.

有個美術評論家習慣於吹毛求疵。

當他在美術館裏評論一幅幅畫作時,就指着一幅畫說:“這幅畫顯得缺乏技巧和領悟,瞧!那些樹看來不像樣,那些草也沒有跟。你們再看這裏,作者還特地畫了一隻蒼蠅來引人注意。要是他能畫的更好些,使它像只蒼蠅,我也不會發對。可是這隻蒼蠅就像一塊爛泥,也沒有蒼蠅的特徵。”

正當這位評論家還在喋喋不休地大發議論時,畫上那隻蒼蠅忽然張開翅膀飛走了。


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