搞笑英文笑話大全
笑話是日常生活中人們消遣娛樂的一種常見語言現象,其目的在於在會話過程中傳遞和激發幽默感。下面是本站小編帶來的搞笑英文笑話，歡迎欣賞!
After a two-week vacation, a man returned to his office and one of his fellow workers asked him what kind of time he's had.
"I spent the whole two weeks helping my wife paint the rooms in our house," he groaned.
"Does she do that often?"
"Well," came the reply, "when we Moved in a few years ago, the guest room was nine by twelve. Now it's eight by eleven!"
兩週的假期後，一位男士回到了辦公室。一個同事問起他假期是怎麼過的。
“我花了整整兩週的時間幫我老婆粉刷房子的所有房間。”他嘆着氣說。
“她經常刷房子嗎?”
“你問這個呀，”他答道，“幾年前我們搬進那座房子時，客廳的面積是9X12英尺，現在它的面積是8X11英尺了。”
搞笑英文笑話篇2Mrs. Brown dialed her daughter's number and sang out, "Hello, darling. How are you?"
"Terrible, Mom. My back is killing me, the children are acting up, the house is a mess…and I'm expecting guest for dinner."
"Don't worry, darling. I'm coming right over. I'll feed the kids, clean up your place, and cook a dinner your guests will never forget."
You're an angel! How is Dad?"
"Dad? Sweetheart, you know Daddy died nine years ago."
Pause. "What number are you calling? Hold on? Please!" the voice wailed. "Does this mean you are not coming over?"
布朗夫人給她女兒撥了個電話，然後高興地說：”哎，親愛的，你好嗎?“
“太糟了， 媽媽。我的腰疼得很厲害。孩子們一直在鬧，房子裏亂七八糟的，我還要爲六爲客人準備晚餐。”
“親愛的，彆着急，我馬上就來。我會把孩子們餵飽，清理好房子，然後給客人們做一頓難以忘懷的晚餐。“
“你真是個救命的菩薩，爸爸怎麼樣?“
“你爸爸?親愛的，你這是怎麼啦?你爸爸九年前就死了呀?”
沉默了一會，“您是不是撥錯了電話?請別掛上，”那個聲音變的有氣無力了，“是不是這就意味着您不會來啦?”
搞笑英文笑話篇3Police officers hear plenty of excuses from people caught parking only for the handicappedpersons.
Once a policeman stopped a man for doing so. When the man was questioned if he knew the parking regulations. He answered correctly. Then the policeman further questioned why he was parking his car there.
"Oh, I injured my leg last week. The doctor said I would become disabled if I didn't get proper treatment. Now I'm experiencing what I feel like to be an disabled person."
當那些正常人因把車錯停在專供殘疾人用的停車位而被警察抓到時，他們總是能找到各種各樣的藉口。
一次，一個警察阻止一個人把車停在殘疾人的專用位上。當警察問他是否知道這個停車的規定時，他說她知道。然後警察接着問他爲什麼還故意把車停在那兒。
那人回答說：“哦，上星期我摔傷了腿，大夫說，如果我不很好治療，我就會變殘疾，現在我想先體驗一下作個殘疾人是什麼滋味。”
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