外國經典幽默笑話閱讀

笑話是一種增強快樂的文化，常常以篇幅短小，故事情節簡單，文筆巧妙的形式出現，給人以出乎意料，並且取得笑意的藝術效果的文化。在忙碌的生活，我們也需要偶爾的放鬆一下自己。下面本站小編爲大家帶來外國經典幽默笑話四則，希望大家喜歡!

　外國經典幽默笑話：愛爾蘭人的運氣

Two Irish lovers are sitting on a bench, in a park. They are holding hands，but the lady is nervously twisting her hands.

一對愛爾蘭情侶坐在公園裏的長椅上。他們手牽着手，但是那個女的一直緊張地擺弄她的雙手。

Mary: “Patrick. I have something to tell you.”

瑪麗:“帕特瑞克，我有些事想告訴你。”

Patrick: “Well，what’s on your mind? You know you can tell me everything.”

帕特瑞克:“好的，你在想什麼?有什麼事你儘管可以跟我說。”

Mary: “It’ s so terrible.”

瑪麗:“這件事簡直太難講出口了。”

Patrick: “You know you can trust me. What is it?”

帕克瑞克:“請你相信我，到底是什麼事?”

Mary: “Well, it was a few years ago. Father lost his job, and no Money in sight…”

瑪麗:“那是好幾年前的事了。我爸爸失業了，當時沒有錢。”

Patrick: “So, what is it?”

帕特瑞克:“那然後呢?”

Mary: “Oh. We were so desperate. For some time I had to turn… prostitute!”

瑪麗:“哦，當時我們簡直是絕望之極。所以有時候我不得不去做妓女!”

Patrick: “WHAT!”

帕特瑞克:“你說什麼?”

Mary: “We needed the money so bad!”

瑪麗:“我們太需要錢了。”

Patrick: “There is no good reason for this! Endangering your very soul! How could you? YOU! Mary, this is more than I can stand!”

帕特瑞克:“不要找藉口開脫了。出賣你的靈魂，你怎麼能這麼做呢? 你! 瑪麗，這我實在是接受不了。”

Mary: “Not you, Pat! No! I thought you'd understand. I thought your could still love me, even though I had been a whore.”

瑪麗:“不，帕特請不要這樣，我覺得你能理解我。我相信你依然愛我，哪怕我曾經出賣過自己的身體。”

Patrick:“Oh! … You … Well, that's ok. For a moment I thought you said protestant’!”

帕特瑞克:“哦，你等會兒，那沒關係。剛纔我還以爲你是說你是當了新教徒呢。”

　外國經典幽默笑話：兩個錯誤

For a long time Dr. Smith had wanted to get a better job in a certain big modern hospital, and at last he was successful. He was appointed to a particular position, which he wanted，and his wife moved to the house, which they were now to live in. The next day some beautiful flowers were sent to them, with a note，which said，"Deepest sympathy". Naturally,Dr. Smith was angry to receive such an unusual note, and telephoned the shop which had sent the flowers to find what the note meant.

很長時間以來，史密斯先生一直想在一家現代化的大醫院找到一份較好的工作，最後他如願以償了。他得到了他所想要的一個重要職位，他和他妻子也搬進了他們現在的房子。第二天，他讓花店送來了一些美麗的鮮花，上面有一張條子，寫道:“最深切的弔慰。”很顯然，史密斯先生對接到這樣一張條子感到非常氣憤，他立刻打電話給送花店的老闆問那張條子是什麼意思。

When the owner of the shop heard what had happened, he apologized to Dr. Smith for having made the mistake.

商店的老闆聽到所發生的事情之後，對於他們所造成的錯誤對史密斯先生表示歉意。

"But what really worried me much more," he added , "is that flowers which ought to have gone to you were sent to a person who had just died, with a card which said, Congratulations on your new position."

“可真正讓我更爲擔心的是”，老闆補充道，“應該給你送去的鮮花卻被送給了一個剛去世的人，鮮花上的條子寫着:祝您高升。”

　外國經典幽默笑話：每根都能劃得燃

有一個特別在乎錢的人，一天他叫兒子去買一盒火柴，並且告訴兒子一定要搞清楚每根火柴都是好的。他的兒子一會兒就回來了。這個人拿出火柴劃了一根，沒有燃着。他又劃了幾根還是沒有一根劃燃。他非常生氣地說:“我不是告訴過你要保證每一根火柴都是好的嗎?”

There was a man who cared more for money than anything else, one day he sent his son to buy a box of matches, and told the boy he must see that every match in the box was good, soon the boy came back. The man took out a match and struck it, but it failed to light, he tried several more, but none was good. He got very angry and said, “I told you every match must be good, didn't I?”

“是的，你確實說過，”孩子回答，“我把盒子裏所有的火柴都試過了，每根都能劃得燃。”

“Yes,you did,” the boy replied. “I tried out all the matches in the box and every match lit.”

　外國經典幽默笑話：唱出你的心聲

There was a little girl whose mother was very strict. Her mother tried to make her daughter behave in a very decent manner, but the girl was still three and half years old. One day the family went to a party, and in the middle of the party the girl cried, "Mommy I want to go restroom.” This drew a lot of attention and the mother felt embarrassed about her daughter. At home she advised that whenever she wants to go to restroom she should say, "I want to sing.”

有一個小女孩，她的媽媽對她特別嚴厲。她媽媽試圖讓小女孩的舉止端莊，但是這個女孩只有三歲半。一天一家人去參加一個聚會，在聚會當中小女孩哭着說:“媽媽，我想上廁所。”這吸引了許多人的注意，母親也因爲她女兒的行爲而感到尷尬。回到家中，她要求女兒不管什麼時候只要想上廁所就說:“我想唱首歌。”

After a couple of days the girl’s grandfather came to visit them. She liked her grandfather very much. At night, she slept with her grandfather, who put her to sleep with a story. After couple of hours, she woke up and said，"Grandpa I want to sing.”The grandpa was afraid of causing a disturbance past midnight if the girl began singing, so he told her in a very low voice, "Baby if you want to sing, sing in my ears.”

過了幾天，女孩兒的外公來看她和媽媽。小女孩非常喜歡她的外公。晚上，她和給她講故事的外公一起睡。過了幾個小時，她起來說:“外公，我想唱首歌。”外公害怕她如果在半夜唱歌會打攪別人，所以就用非常低沉的聲音告訴她:“寶貝，如果你想唱，那麼就在外公的耳邊唱吧。”