雙語勵志美文：我單身，我快樂

有一種單身，爲了愛可以付出一切。他們不擔心自己用了多少時間去等，自己付出了多少努力，因爲他們知道那個人總有一天會答應自己，然後和自己一起白頭偕老。

I was satisfied when I was first engaged with this "big name" company which has once designed the tallest building in China. I've since realized that this is just another "No Life" company living on its name. So, in fact I still don't have a life and I've discovered that I am screwed and destined to contribute my soul for a sound job title and reasonable salary.

Thinking about work from the moment I wake. Aesthesia sets in every morning with birdcall and I follow my senses and the ritual of trying to use the least amount of time to deal with trivial but essential routines; choosing the "best" food that is easiest to be swallowed and digested; reducing water ingestion to avoid unnecessary wastage and thus wasted time scurrying off for toilet visits; forever perfecting shortened "bye-byes" to get out the door more rapidly; enhancing work productivity after waking by bringing remaining unfinished work that can be accessed between naps.

在我順利加入這家設計過曾是中國最高建築的知名企業之初，我滿意極了。然而，當我發覺這也不過是一家靠着名頭吃飯的“無生活”公司時，滿足感頓時消失。所以，實際上我還是過着“無生活”的生活，每天爲了我響亮的頭銜和合理的薪水全力打拼。

從睜開眼睛，身體有知覺的那一刻開始，滿腦子就都是工作的事情;每天清晨被鳥叫醒，憑着直覺用最短的時間處理掉吃喝拉撒之類生活必須的瑣事;吃最容易咀嚼吞嚥消化的食物;儘量少喝水，以減少這些意義不大的事及其帶來的頻繁往返衛生間的副作用所侵吞的時間;永遠完美而簡短地說再見並快速出門;儘量把一些當天沒能處理完的事情留在睡夢中繼續思考，以提高醒來後的工作效率……

Thus every second saved gives an extra second to increased efficiency and output. As for any form of unstructured time, like seeing movies, strolling around, or even just being in a thoughtless daze, only when the devil is blind to work, time, efficiency and productivity will that time come for me.

就這樣，從日常生活中擠出來的一分一秒讓我有更充足的時間提高效率和超額完成工作量。至於什麼休閒活動，譬如看電影、逛街，甚至只是乾坐着發發呆，絕對是沒門兒的，除非驅使我工作的“魔鬼”已經完全瞎掉，看不到工作、時間、效率或業績!

I have turned so panda eyed, so much so that even liberal coverings of foundation make up can't conceal my physical signs of exhaustion. I am especially numb about my gender, as I was disillusioned with my MD's genuinely appreciative praise on my "manly" working attitude, which runs counter to my lifetime pursuit of becoming a full time blissfully happy housewife. But every time my real ambition becomes lost as I become, against my will, deeply emotionally connected with the MD by his impassioned speeches that are always full of his acknowledgement to those who work slave-like with bended heads over heaped papers. I hang on his words waiting for tidbits of praise and after I am filled with self-loathing that I am sucked into this subordinate and subservient role. And as a female I feel we have lost our gender and identity in the battlefield of the inner office, becoming sexless, senseless, and loveless, living our "No Life" existence.

我臉上掛着兩個黑黑的熊貓眼，它們是如此醒目地昭示着我的疲倦，以至於再濃的妝也掩蓋不住。拼命的工作讓我對自己的性別概念完全模糊，直到老闆誠摯地誇獎我“男人般”的工作態度時，我纔想起當年我對人生的美好設想是做一個幸福快樂的家庭主婦。可是，當我的老闆激情洋溢地盛讚那些藏身於厚厚的文件背後，垂着腦袋奴隸一般工作的員工時，我曾經的人生理想再一次完全隱匿。我渴望得到認同和表揚，而隨後我又陷入極度自我厭惡中，我竟然沉迷於這個卑微的奴性角色中。作爲一名女性，我們在辦公室沒有硝煙的戰場上漸漸喪失了自己的女性身份，變成一個個沒有性別特徵，沒有意識，也沒有愛情的“無生活”生物。

Some people, it seems, do have a constructive consciousness and attitude towards working, always looking forward and thinking positively, without cynicism. There was an interview with some CEO on TV insolently summing-up the secrets of success "Our success is due to those personnel happily working for the enterprise day and night, day after day." I don't know whether these employees are really happy or pretending to be happy or if the CEO has assumed subjectively his staffs' happiness. I ask myself, can work really bring such contentment and fulfillment to your life?

似乎有那麼一種人，總是對工作有着建設性的覺悟和態度，每天都積極樂觀地向前看，從不會消極怠工。曾經在電視上看到過一次對某位CEO的採訪，他自豪地總結企業成功的祕訣：“我們的成功，都是因爲我們的員工披星戴月、夜以繼日的積極快樂地工作!”不知道他們是真的開心，還是看上去開心，抑或只是CEO們一廂情願地主觀假定他們應該很開心。我不禁自問，工作真的能給一個人帶來那麼大的滿足感和成就感嗎?

I still remember in a meeting that our MD said that the previous manager here, who was female, quit the company because she could not get married and couldn't even get into any stable relationship due to the time she must give to her work! She was close to 50 before she realized the necessity to change jobs and priorities. Nearly 50 for Christ's sake! I promised myself I will never become the second sedulous example in this company. There is also a fashion designer who hasn’t been in a relationship for 5 years. The last time she was in love was in University. She has No Life. She doesn't even have time for meals. She has resolved to break up with this company. How many are there like us? How many "No life" women are there? There are two groups of women in Shanghai, and maybe in this world, 90% have "No life", no fun and no money. The other 10 % seems to make money easily, they go clubbing all week, drinking and partying，it seems this is their "Life". Because I am single, I am not a socialite, and I am deemed an older woman (approaching 30), am I destined to always work hard with "No Life"?

我仍然記得在一次會議上我老闆提到的那個公司前任女經理的事情。據說她把所有時間都花在了工作上，以至於沒空考慮結婚的事，甚至無法和一個男人維持穩定的關係，最後她只好辭掉工作。當她意識到必須要改變工作和生活的先後關係時，她已經年屆50了。50歲啊，老天!我對自己發誓，我決不能成爲第二個她!還有另一位時尚女設計師，已經整整五年沒談過戀愛了。她的上一次戀愛還得追溯到大學時代……她完全過着“無生活”的生活，甚至連吃飯的時間都沒有。後來她終於下定決心離開了這家公司。還有多少人和我們有同樣的經歷?這裏還有多少過着“無生活”的女性?在上海，甚至是全世界，女人只分爲兩種。90%“無生活”，沒有情趣也沒有錢;另外10%早早地賺夠了錢，於是天天泡吧喝酒辦派對，享受着看似精彩的“生活”。而我，因爲還是單身，又不是什麼社交名媛，又被歸爲大齡女性(年屆三十)，我就得乖乖地奴隸般地工作，過我的“無生活”生活。

I am a single older woman.

我是個單身的大齡女性。

Sometimes I am a lonely woman.

我時不時也會覺得寂寞。

I ask myself is that true? Am I old, single and lonely?

是這樣嗎，我問自己?我真的又老又孤獨嗎?

There are far too many compatriots in the same boat with me. What else can I say to you to convince you otherwise. Sometimes I can not even convince myself that I'm a success in someway - we are lonely, we long for love, we are terribly afraid of dying destitute. When Bella DePaulo, Ph.D., a psychology professor at the University of California, Santa Barbara, and author of the book Singled Out (St. Martin's Press, 2006), asked 950 college students to describe married people, they used words like "happy, loving, secure, stable, and kind." The descriptions of singles, on the other hand, included "lonely, shy, unhappy, insecure, inflexible, and stubborn". "My goodness, am I one of them?" I screamed and could not help asking myself this question. Mind you, nearly more then 50% of my friends who are far beyond their nubile age are still unmarried. There are several reasons for this; career women marry later; the divorce rate is high for many reasons, including pressure of work; little time and mood to share your darling's romance; no emotion to release pressure from your hubby as you may also be stressed; no time or idea how to make proper candlelit dinners and, wow, just too many to list here. By the way, not to put too fine a point on it, those women who are married are likely to outlive their mates. As a result, most career women are now likely to spend more years of their lives single than with a significant other.

無數女同胞和我坐在同一條船上。我還能說些什麼呢?說什麼才能讓你相信事實並非如此呢?因爲我們單身，渴望愛情，極端害怕孤獨終老，所以有時候我甚至不能說服自己其實我在某些方面也算是獲得了成功!在聖巴巴拉的加州大學分校任職並且即將發行新書《Singled Out》的心理學教授貝拉·德保羅博士，讓950名學子來描述已婚人士，學生們用了諸如“幸福”、“相愛”、“可靠”、“穩定”、“美好”這類的詞彙。而他們對未婚人羣的形容，則是“孤獨”、“羞澀”、“不幸”、“惶恐”、“固執”或是“執拗”。我不禁驚呼並不自覺地不斷問自己：“老天，莫非我也是他們中的一員?”事實上，我半數以上的女性朋友都已經遠遠過了適婚年齡卻還是孤身一人。造成這個局面原因有很多：不少職業女性打定主意要晚婚，因爲工作壓力等原因離婚率居高不下;心情很糟糕，根本沒有心思去緩解另一半的壓力，因爲自己的壓力都無處釋放;沒有時間也完全沒想過去營造一次燭光晚餐……哎呀，問題簡直數不勝數!同時，雖然這一點聽起來會讓人覺得不很舒服，但事實上就算結了婚，女人往往也還是比男人長壽。所以這樣一來，大部分職業女性單身一人的日子可能會比擁有愛人的日子長得多。

Us singles are not birds of a feather. Is today's typical older unwed female a lot like Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City's free-spirited patron saint of the deliberately single? The answer: a little of this and a little of that, and in some cases, all kinds of excuses you could figure out.

我們這些單身女性的情況各異。難道今天的典型大齡未婚女性都是《慾望都市》裏的凱莉那樣擁有自由靈魂的獨身主義者嗎?當然不是，有時候，單身的理由真的是千奇百怪，你可能想都想不到。

Whatever, it's clear that words like lonely, shy, and insecure no longer apply to all. Fully half the women in our times, including me, say we are happier than we've ever been, at least while working and especially at the time we see and feel our careers progressing. Are we sad now and then? Sure - aren't we all? Do we occasionally lose sleep worrying about the future? Yes, and with good reason: being a single older woman comes with its own economic challenges. But that doesn't stop the majority from believing that midlife offers an opportunity for growth, for learning, and the chance to do the things we've always wanted to do. We even have the chance to do things outside of the confines, restraints and shackles of a relationship.

無論如何，有一點是肯定的，那就是諸如“孤獨”、“羞澀”、“不安”這樣的詞彙已經完全不再適用於單身女性了。當今社會上，至少半數的女性都認爲自己過得異乎尋常地幸福。至少在工作中，特別是在看到或感覺到自己事業上取得的成就時，我們會這麼覺得。我們是否也會時不時地感傷呢?毋庸置疑——大家不都是這樣?我們偶爾是否會因爲擔心自己的將來而失眠呢?答案也是肯定的，而且我們有很好的理由：成爲一個大齡的單身女性勢必會帶來一系列經濟上的問題。但是這些並不能阻止大多數女性朝着單身又大齡這條路走。她們仍然相信人到中年才擁有成長、學習的好時機，並有機會讓自己可以隨心所欲，甚至還能衝破重重阻礙和桎梏去做那些從前不被允許做或者做不到的事情。

So now, let me and all of you think again, do we really have "No Life"? I have some benefits that many married housewives can't share. Also, are we, the single "No Lifers" the ones who have created cages or limitations for ourselves? If so, it's in our hands to set ourselves free, to give ourselves "A Life", and not be so controlled by the expectations of society, work, family and friends who patronize us into thinking and believing that we have "No Life".

所以現在，讓我們大家再一起來思考一下，我們過的真的是“無生活”嗎?我生活中的很多樂趣是很多家庭婦女無法品嚐到的。那麼，我們這些單身的“無生活”們又是不是在作繭自縛呢?如果是這樣，我們應該親手解放自己，自己給自己“生活”，而不是讓自己的思維被那些迫使我們相信自己是“無生活”的社會、工作、家人和朋友所限制。

Am I desperate to find a mate? Given the option, I wouldn't mind a committed relationship with a cuddly, caring partner - preferably someone with minimal emotional baggage and the kind of income to support a nice summer house.

我真是那麼迫切地要找到另一半嗎?當然，如果可以選擇的話，我倒是不介意去忠實於一個可愛又體貼的伴侶——當然他最好是沒有過去的感情包袱，又有不少收入，最好可以附帶買得起一套漂亮的房子。

I do not feel like dating at times, just simply because I am not interested in dating or being in a romantic relationship with bald guys unless I meet someone really interesting. It requires a philosophical balance between putting on a game face on Saturday night and not getting stressed if nothing develops.

可有時候我也沒那麼想去約會。原因很簡單，除非那個男人真的很有趣，否則要去和一個禿頂的男人約會或者談戀愛可真算不上是一件有意思的事!要想在週末晚上約會時顯得輕鬆自在，又不能表現出因爲擔心兩人關係沒有進展而憂心忡忡，這沒有點哲學平衡思想是做不到的。

Am I lonely? I confess, yes I am, but everyone is lonely sometimes - even married people. But I actually enjoy my solitude while it could more or less balance my stressful feeling. Living alone can be lonely for sure but I love the freedom, and the fact that I know so many other singles I can network with.

我真的孤獨嗎?我承認，好吧，我是很孤獨，但是人人都有孤獨的時候，結沒結婚都一樣!但是孤獨感有時候或多或少能平衡壓力，這讓我有時候也覺得孤獨是一種享受。一個人生活當然會孤獨，但我鍾愛那種自由，事實上在我的周圍有很多和我同樣單身的人，我們都享受和彼此交流的樂趣。

Do I like my manliness? Of course I don't. But I realized to have manliness in working is one thing and having it outside of work is another story completely. I am keenly aware that appearances matter in our society and as women we need to know when to be manly and when to be feminine.