《魔法師的外甥》第28期:安德魯舅舅的麻煩開始了(5)

"I don't see what's going to happen to you. It's Mr Ketterley who's going to sit on red hot chairs and have ice in his bed, isn't it?"

"It isn't that sort of thing," said Digory. "What I'm bothered about is Mother. Suppose that creature went into her room. She might frighten her to death."

"Oh, I see," said Polly in rather a different voice. "Alright. We'll call it Pax. I'll come back - if I can. But I must go now." And she crawled through the little door into the tunnel; and that dark place among the rafters which had seemed so exciting and adventurous a few hours ago, seemed quite tame and homely now.

We must now go back to Uncle Andrew. His poor old heart went pit-a-pat as he staggered down the attic stairs and he kept on dabbing at his forehead with a handkerchief. When he reached his bedroom, which was the floor below, he locked himself in. And the very first thing he did was to grope in his wardrobe for a bottle and a wine-glass which he always kept hidden there where Aunt Letty could not find them. He poured himself out a glassful of some nasty, grown-up drink and drank it off at one gulp. Then he drew a deep breath.

"Upon my word," he said to himself. "I'm dreadfully shaken. Most upsetting! And at my time of life!"

He poured out a second glass and drank it too; then he began to change his clothes. You have never seen such clothes, but I can remember them. He put on a very high, shiny, stiff collar of the sort that made you hold your chin up all the time. He put on a white waistcoat with a pattern on it and arranged his gold watch chain across the front. He put on his best frock-coat, the one he kept for weddings and funerals. He got out his best tall hat and polished it up. There was a vase of flowers (put there by Aunt Letty) on his dressing table; he took one and put it in his buttonhole. He took a clean handkerchief (a lovely one such as you couldn't buy today) out of the little lefthand drawer and put a few drops of scent on it. He took his eye-glass, with the thick black ribbon, and screwed it into his eye; then he looked at himself in the mirror.

Children have one kind of silliness, as you know, and grown-ups have another kind. At this moment Uncle Andrew was beginning to be silly in a very grown-up way. Now that the Witch was no longer in the same room with him he was quickly forgetting how she had frightened him and thinking more and more of her wonderful beauty. He kept on saying to himself, "A dem fine woman, sir, a dem fine woman. A superb creature." He had also somehow managed to forget that it was the children who had got hold of this "superb creature": he felt as if he himself by his Magic had called her out of unknown worlds.

"Andrew, my boy," he said to himself as he looked in the glass, "you're a devilish well preserved fellow for your age. A distinguished-looking man, sir."

“我覺得你不用擔心什麼，凱特利先生纔會坐在燙人的椅子上，他的牀上纔會有冰，不是嗎？

“不是那一類的事．”迪格雷說，“我擔心媽媽。假如那怪物進了她的房間，會把她嚇死的。”

“噢，我明白了。”波莉聲音異常地說，“好吧，這次行動代號‘和平女神’。我會回來的——如果回得來的話。但我現在必須走了。”她鑽出小門，進了隧道椽子之間黑暗的地方几小時前還那麼令人激動，那麼富有冒險色彩，現在卻似乎顯得普通和平淡了。

我們有必要回頭講講安德魯舅舅。他從閣樓上跌跌絆絆地跑下去時，那顆可憐的老心臟砰砰地亂跳。他用手帕在額頭上不斷地揩着。當他進到樓下的臥室裏，便把自己鎖在畢面。他做的第一件事就是從衣櫃裏摸出一個瓶子和一個酒杯，他總是把這些東西藏在櫃子裏，以免被蕾蒂姨媽發現。他給自己滿斟了一杯味道刺鼻的大人喝的酒，一口氣喝了下去，然後，長長地舒了一口氣。

“哎呀，”他自言自語地說，“可把我嚇壞了。真煩人！到這把年紀還遇到這種事！”

又倒了一杯喝下去後，他開始換衣服。你從未見過這樣的衣服，但我還記得。他戴上一副硬邦邦的閃光的高領子，這種領子使你的下巴不得不長時間地昂着，又套上一件有圖案的內背心，把金錶鏈掛在前面。接着，他穿上婚喪儀式才用的最好的衣服，拿出最好的高筒禮帽拍打幹淨。他的梳妝桌上放着一瓶花（蕾蒂姨媽放的），他摘下一朵插在釦眼裏，又從左邊的小抽履裏掏出一塊手帕（很漂亮．現在難以買到），往上面灑了幾滴香水。他將繫着黑色粗綢帶的眼鏡戴上，然後，對着鏡子觀賞起來。

你知道，孩子們有種傻氣，大人有另一種傻氣。這時，安德魯舅舅開始犯大人的傻氣了。女巫不在他的房裏，他便很快忘了剛纔受到的驚嚇，開始對她的美貌想入非非。他不斷自言自語，“一個漂亮的貴婦人，先生，一個漂亮的貴婦人，一個超級尤物”。他不知不覺地忘了那個“超級尤物”足孩子們找到的，他覺得是他自己用魔法從不可知的世界裏召喚來的。

“安德魯，小夥子，”他邊照鏡子邊對自己說，“你保養得不錯，看不出年齡，先生，你長相不凡哪。”