經典科幻文學:《生命 宇宙及一切》第11章6

OK, said Zaphod, tensing himself, open now.
The door slid open quietly. Zaphod slipped quietly through. The door closed quietly behind him.
Is that the way you like it, Mr. Beeblebrox? said the door out loud.
I want you to imagine, said Zaphod to the group of white robots who swung round to stare at him at that point, that I have an extremely powerful Kill-O-Zap blaster pistol in my hand.
There was an immensely cold and savage silence. The robots regarded him with hideously dead eyes. They stood very still. There was something intensely macabre about their appearance, especially to Zaphod who had never seen one before or even known anything about them. The Krikkit wars belonged to the ancient past of the Galaxy, and Zaphod had spent most of his early history lessons plotting how he was going to have sex with the girl in the cybercubicle next to him, and since his teaching computer had been an integral part of this plot it had eventually had all its history circuits wiped and replaced with an entirely different set of ideas which had then resulted in it being scrapped and sent to a home for Degenerate Cybermats, whither it was followed by the girl who had inadvertently fallen deeply in love with the unfortunate machine, with the result (a) that Zaphod never got near her and (b) that he missed out on a period of ancient history that would have been of inestimable value to him at this moment.
He stared at them in shock.
It was impossible to explain why, but their smooth and sleek white bodies seemed to be the utter embodiment of clean, clinical evil. From their hideously dead eyes to their powerful lifeless feet, they were clearly the calculated product of a mind that wanted simply to kill. Zaphod gulped in cold fear.
They had been dismantling part of the rear bridge wall, and had forced a passage through some of the vital innards of the ship. Through the tangled wreckage Zaphod could see, with a further and worse sense of shock, that they were tunnelling towards the very heart of the ship, the heart of the Improbability Drive that had been so mysteriously created out of thin air, the Heart of Gold itself.
The robot closest to him was regarding him in such a way as to suggest that it was measuring every smallest particle of his body, mind and capability. And when it spoke, what it said seemed to bear this impression out. Before going on to what it actually said, it is worth recording at this point that Zaphod was the first living organic being to hear one of these creatures speak for something over ten billion years. If he had paid more attention to his ancient history lessons and less to his organic being, he might have been more impressed by this honour.
The robot’s voice was like its body, cold, sleek and lifeless. It had almost a cultured rasp to it. It sounded as ancient as it was.
It said:
You do have a Kill-O-Zap blaster pistol in your hand.
Zaphod didn’t know what it meant for a moment, but then he glanced down at his own hand and was relieved to see that what he had found clipped to a wall bracket was indeed what he had thought it was.
Yeah, he said in a kind of relieved sneer, which is quite tricky, well, I wouldn’t want to overtax your imagination, robot. For a while nobody said anything, and Zaphod realized that the robots were obviously not here to make conversation, and that it was up to him.
I can’t help noticing that you have parked your ship, he said with a nod of one of his heads in the appropriate direction, through mine.
There was no denying this. Without regard for any kind of proper dimensional behaviour they had simply materialized their ship precisely where they wanted it to be, which meant that it was simply locked through the Heart of Gold as if they were nothing more than two combs.
Again, they made no response to this, and Zaphod wondered if the conversation would gather any momentum if he phrased his part of it in the form of questions.
…haven’t you? he added.
Yes, replied the robot.
Er, OK, said Zaphod. So what are you cats doing here?
Silence.

“OK。”贊福德繃緊了神經，“開吧。”
門無聲地開了。贊福德無聲地溜了進去。門在他身後無聲地關上了。
“您是否滿意，畢博布魯克斯先生？”門大聲說道。
“我希望你們想象一下，”贊福德面前的機器人猛地回頭望着他，於是他開口道，“我拿着一支火力超強的暴殺王手槍。”
房間裏是冰冷而兇險的寂靜。機器人們用可怖的、無神的眼睛看着他。它們靜靜地站着。它們的樣子令人毛骨悚然，尤其在贊福德看來，因爲他從沒見過或聽說過它們。版求戰爭是遠古銀河史的一部分，贊福德以前上遠古歷史課的時候，忙着謀劃怎樣釣到坐他隔壁的女孩了。由於他的教學電腦正是其陰謀的必要環節，所以他把所有歷史課資料都刪了，換成了一堆別的東西，最後導致此電腦被丟棄，並送到廢舊數碼產品集中站去了。那個女孩則隨電腦而去——由於某種疏忽，她愛上了這臺不幸的計算機。最終結果：a，贊福德再也沒法接近她。b，他錯過了一段遠古銀河歷史課，其內容對於此時此刻的他恰好無比重要。
他也注視着機器人們，非常驚訝。
有一點似乎無法解釋：這羣機器人光滑亮澤的白色身體，彷彿是乾淨、超然的惡魔的最佳代言人。從它們可怖而無神的目光，到它們堅硬而無情的雙腳，顯然，它們的創造者一定進行過精密的設計，目的只有一個，便是殺戮。贊福德恐懼地嚥了口唾沫。
它們正在拆控制檯的牆，已經在飛船的中心區域弄出一個洞。贊福德看着這亂糟糟的一團，發現一件更驚人的事——它們正往飛船最核心部位挖掘，快要接近那神祕的、憑空造出的非概率驅動之心，也就是黃金之心本身。
離他最近的機器人盯着他的樣子，彷彿要把他的每個粒子都看清楚——身體的粒子，靈魂的粒子和能力的粒子。它開口所說的話，更證實了這一感覺。 在透露其內容之前，有一件事頗有記錄價值——一百億年以來，贊福德是唯一一位聽了他們說話而沒死的有機生命體。如果他上遠古歷史課的時候認真點（而不是傾心於其生命行爲）的話，他會爲此刻的經歷感到光榮的。
機器人的聲音如其身體一般，冰冷，光滑，無情。也許正因爲有這樣的身體，纔會有這樣的聲音。兩者都已是年代久遠。
它說：
“你是拿着一把暴殺王手槍。”
一時間，贊福德不知道它什麼意思。他不經意瞥了下自己的手，十分欣慰地發現，自己剛纔隨手從托架上扯下的東西，正是他所希望的東西。
“對。”他輕鬆一笑，卻顯得有點滑稽，“噢，我可不想逼你過度使用想象力，機器人。”等了好一會也沒人答話。贊福德意識到，這些機器人不是來聊天的，聊天得靠他自己了。
“我不得不注意到，你們把飛船停到——”他用一個腦袋朝那邊點了點，“——我的飛船裏邊。”
沒人否認他的話。它們就這樣把飛船停到想停的地方，似乎從沒想過合不合禮節的問題。就這樣，直接鑽進了黃金之心，好象它們不過是兩把梳子似的。
依然，無人答話。贊福德想，如果他不使用疑問句的話，對話大概將失去動力了。
“……是吧？”他補充道。
“是的。”機器人回答。
“嗯，OK，”贊福德說，“那你們這些小貓咪在這兒幹嘛？”
沉默。