雙語散文:About Love 關於愛情的種種你瞭解多少？
About Love 關於愛情的種種你瞭解多少？
About Love
Anton Chekhov
第二天的午飯是非常美味的餡餅，小龍蝦和羊肉片。我們正吃飯時，廚子尼卡諾來問客人們晚上想吃些什麼。他是一箇中等身材，胖臉，小眼睛的人，齊鬍子根颳了臉，這使得看起來他的鬍子彷彿不是刮掉的，而是被連根拔掉的。阿列恆告訴我們美麗的帕拉吉愛上了這個廚子，因爲他喝酒且性格粗暴，帕拉吉不想嫁給她，但是願意與他婚外同居。廚子是個很虔誠的人，他的宗教信仰不允許他“過着有罪的生活”。他堅持帕拉吉嫁給他，此外其它的事都答應她，可是他喝醉時經常大罵帕拉吉，甚至打她。無論何時廚子喝醉了酒，帕拉吉就習慣於躲到樓上哭泣，每當這個時候阿列恆和僕人們就待在屋裏準備萬一需要保護帕拉吉。
At lunch next day there were very nice pies, crayfish, and mutton cutlets; and while we were eating, Nikanor, the cook, came up to ask what the visitors would like for dinner. He was a man of medium height, with a puffy face and little eyes; he was close-shaven, and it looked as though his Moustaches had not been shaved, but had been pulled out by the roots. Alehin told us that the beautiful Pelagea was in love with this cook. As he drank and was of a violent character, she did not want to marry him, but was willing to live with him without. He was very devout, and his religious convictions would not allow him to “live in sin”; he insisted on her marrying him, and would consent to nothing else, and when he was drunk he used to abuse her and even beat her. Whenever he got drunk she used to hide upstairs and sob, and on such occasions Alehin and the servants stayed in the house to be ready to defend her in case of necessity.
我們開始談論愛情。
“愛情是如何產生的呢？”阿列恆說，“爲什麼帕拉吉在身心上不像愛自己一樣地愛別人，她爲什麼會愛上尼卡諾，那個醜陋的豬嘴——我們所有人都叫尼卡諾‘豬嘴’——個人的幸福跟愛情的結果有多大關係——所有這些問題我們都不明所以；個人能獲得的見解只是他從中希望獲得的罷了。迄今爲止，說到愛唯一無可置疑的事實就是：‘愛是一個大大的謎。’關於愛所說和所寫下的一切都不是結論，而只是這個仍然沒有答案的問題的陳述罷了。這個解釋似乎只適合一份份單獨的愛情，而不適用於其它衆多的例子。在我看來，最好的做法就是單獨解說每一份愛情，而不要企圖歸納愛情。就像醫生們說的，我們應該個別對待每一個例子。”
“完全正確。”伯京同意。
We began talking about love.
“How love is born,” said Alehin, “why Pelagea does not love somebody more like herself in her spiritual and external qualities, and why she fell in love with Nikanor, that ugly snout—we all call him ‘The Snout’—how far questions of personal happiness are of consequence in love—all that is unknown; one can take what view ones likes of it. So far only one incontestable truth has been uttered about love: ‘This is a great mystery.’ Everything else that has been written or said about love is not a conclusion, but only a statement of questions which have remained unanswered. The explanation which would seem to fit one case does not apply in a dozen others, and the very best thing, to my mind, would be to explain every case individually without attempting to generalize. We ought, as the doctors say, to individualize each case.”
“Perfectly true,” Burkin assented.
“我們這些受過教育的俄國階層都偏愛那些還沒有答案的問題。愛情通常都被詩意化，用玫瑰、夜鶯來裝飾。我們俄國人卻用些重大的問題來裝飾愛情，且選擇了其中最無趣的部分。在莫斯科讀書時，我有一位與我一起生活的朋友，一位迷人的女士，每次我把她抱在懷裏，她就在想我這是允許她幫我料理一個月的家務以及一磅牛肉多少錢。同樣地，墜入愛河時我們總不厭其煩地問自己：這是合乎名譽的還是違背名譽的，明智的還是愚蠢的，這份愛在通往何處，等等。想這些問題是好事還是壞事我不知道，但是這些問題困擾着你，找不到答案且令人氣惱，我就十分清楚了。”
“We Russians of the educated class have a partiality for these questions that remain unanswered. Love is usually poeticized, decorated with roses, nightingales; we Russians decorate our loves with these momentous questions, and select the most uninteresting of them, too. In Moscow, when I was a student, I had a friend who shared my life, a charming lady, and every time I took her in my arms she was thinking what I would allow her a month for housekeeping and what was the price of beef a pound. In the same way, when we are in love we are never tired of asking ourselves questions: whether it is honourable or dishonourable, sensible or stupid, what this love is leading up to, and so on. Whether it is a good thing or not I don’t know, but that it is in the way, unsatisfactory, and irritating, I do know.”
看來阿列恆想吐透一些心事。過着孤獨生活的人們心底總會有些渴望傾訴的事。在城裏，單身漢們去澡堂和飯館的目的就是爲了跟人說說話，澡堂和飯館的服務員們不時能從他們那裏聽到最有趣的事。而通常，在鄉下，單身漢們向客人敞開心扉。此時窗外的天空灰濛濛的，所有的樹木在雨中都溼透了，這樣的天氣我們哪兒都不能去，除了說故事或者聆聽之外無事可做。
It looked as though he wanted to tell some story. People who lead a solitary existence always have something in their hearts which they are eager to talk about. In town bachelors visit the baths and the restaurants on purpose to talk, and sometimes tell the most interesting things to bath attendants and waiters; in the country, as a rule, they unbosom themselves to their guests. Now from the window we could see a grey sky, trees drenched in the rain; in such weather we could go nowhere, and there was nothing for us to do but to tell stories and to listen.
“離開大學後，我在沙非諾生活和務農了很長一段時間。”阿列恆開始了他的故事，“我是一個受過教育的懶散的紳士，一個隨性熱心的人。可是當我來到這兒時莊園欠下了一大筆債，而我父親之所以負債部分原因是我花費不小的學費。我決定不走了，而是開始工作直到還清這筆債。我下定決心這麼做並開始工作，坦白說，不是一點不動搖的。這裏的土地收益並不大，一個人經營農場如果想不賠本必須使用農奴或僱用勞工，這幾乎是一碼子事；或者把自己等同於農民，就是說，親自帶着一家人下地幹活。此外，沒有折中的路子。不過那時我還沒有探究到這些微妙關係。我不漏過一塊未翻耕的土地，把附近村子裏所有的農民，無論男人女人都聚到了一起，工作以極大的速度進展着。我親自耕地，播種，收割，可是煩透了做這一切，就像村子裏的貓餓得去吃菜園裏的黃瓜一樣厭惡得焦眉爛額。我全身疼痛，走路都打瞌睡。起先似乎我能輕易調和這種辛苦的生活與我有教養的習慣，我認爲要做到這一點在生活中有必要維持一種固定的表面形式。我把自己安置到樓上這兒最好的房間裏，我指示僕人們午飯和晚飯後給我把咖啡和酒端到樓上，每晚上牀睡覺時我都要看Vyestnik Evropi。可是一天，我們的牧師伊凡神父來了，一口氣喝完了我所有的酒，Vyestnik Evropi也到牧師的女兒們手裏去了。夏季，特別是割曬牧草的時候，我根本連牀都挨不到，有時睡在穀倉的雪撬上，有時睡在某個森林人的小屋裏，哪還有看書的機會？慢慢地我搬到樓下來了，開始在僕人的廚房裏吃飯，除了我服侍父親的僕人，解僱他們會令他們痛苦萬分，我之前的奢侈蕩然無存。
“I have lived at Sofino and been farming for a long time,” Alehin began, “ever since I left the University. I am an idle gentleman by education, a studious person by disposition; but there was a big debt owing on the estate when I came here, and as my father was in debt partly because he had spent so much on my education, I resolved not to go away, but to work till I paid off the debt. I made up my mind to this and set to work, not, I must confess, without some repugnance. The land here does not yield much, and if one is not to farm at a loss one must employ serf labour or hired labourers, which is almost the same thing, or put it on a peasant footing—that is, work the fields oneself and with one’s family. There is no middle path. But in those days I did not go into such subtleties. I did not leave a clod of earth unturned; I gathered together all the peasants, men and women, from the neighbouring villages; the work went on at a tremendous pace. I myself ploughed and sowed and reaped, and was bored doing it, and frowned with disgust, like a village cat driven by hunger to eat cucumbers in the kitchen-garden. My body ached, and I slept as I walked. At first it seemed to me that I could easily reconcile this life of toil with my cultured habits; to do so, I thought, all that is necessary is to maintain a certain external order in life. I established myself upstairs here in the best rooms, and ordered them to bring me there coffee and liquor after lunch and dinner, and when I went to bed I read every night the Vyestnik Evropi. But one day our priest, Father Ivan, came and drank up all my liquor at one sitting; and the Vyestnik Evropi went to the priest’s daughters; as in the summer, especially at the haymaking, I did not succeed in getting to my bed at all, and slept in the sledge in the barn, or somewhere in the forester’s lodge, what chance was there of reading? Little by little I moved downstairs, began dining in the servants’ kitchen, and of my former luxury nothing is left but the servants who were in my father’s service, and whom it would be painful to turn away.
在最初的幾年裏我當選爲這裏的榮譽治安法官。我得經常去城裏參加治安協會和巡迴法院的會議，這對我來說是一個令人愉快的變化。當連續在這兒住了兩三個月後，特別是冬天，終於開始渴望接觸有知識有教養的人，哪怕是穿黑外套的牧師。而在巡回法庭裏穿各種衣服的人——有穿雙排扣常禮服的，有穿制服的，還有穿燕尾服的——所有的律師，男人們都接受過普通教育。我終於有了一些可以進行思想交流的人。經過在雪撬上睡覺和在廚房吃飯後，穿着乾淨的亞麻布衣服，細薄的靴子坐在靠背椅裏，某人的馬甲上還掛着錶鏈，這一切是多麼的奢侈了啊！
“In the first years I was elected here an honourary justice of the peace. I used to have to go to the town and take part in the sessions of the congress and of the circuit court, and this was a pleasant change for me. When you live here for two or three months without a break, especially in the winter, you begin at last to pine for a black coat. And in the circuit court there were frock-coats, and uniforms, and dress- coats, too, all lawyers, men who have received a general education; I had some one to talk to. After sleeping in the sledge and dining in the kitchen, to sit in an arm-chair in clean linen, in thin boots, with a chain on one’s waistcoat, is such luxury!
“在城裏我受到熱烈歡迎，我熱切地結交各種朋友。說實話，在我所結識的人中最親密，最合我意的是跟巡回法庭的副庭長盧格諾維奇的相識。你們倆都認識他，一個很有魅力的人。這一切就發生在那個著名的縱火案之後，初步調查持續了兩天，我們都筋疲力盡了。盧格諾維奇看着我說：
“‘哎，我說，來跟我一起共進晚餐吧。’
“I received a warm welcome in the town. I made friends eagerly. And of all my acquaintanceships the most intimate and, to tell the truth, the most agreeable to me was my acquaintance with Luganovitch, the vice-president of the circuit court. You both know him: a most charming personality. It all happened just after a celebrated case of incendiarism; the preliminary investigation lasted two days; we were exhausted. Luganovitch looked at me and said:
“ ‘Look here, come round to dinner with me.’
“這有點出乎意料，因爲我和盧格諾維奇並不熟，跟他只是職務上的交往，從未去過他家裏。我剛剛回旅館房間換好衣服要出去吃晚飯。這是我命中註定要與盧格諾維奇的妻子，安娜·阿列克絲耶夫娜相遇。那時她還很年輕，至多二十二歲，她的第一個孩子剛剛半歲。這都是過去的事了，而現在我發現很難說得清她到底有何例外，以及她那麼吸引我的原因。當時，在那次晚宴上，這一切對我非常清晰，我看到了一個年輕可愛，善良聰明而迷人的女人，彷彿之前我從未遇到過一個這樣的人。我立刻覺得她是某個我已經很熟悉很親密了的人，好像那張臉，那誠懇聰慧的眼神，我小時候已在某處——擱在我母親衣櫃裏的相冊裏——見到過了。
“This was unexpected, as I knew Luganovitch very little, only officially, and I had never been to his house. I only just went to my hotel room to change and went off to dinner. And here it was my lot to meet Anna Alexyevna, Luganovitch’s wife. At that time she was still very young, not more than twenty-two, and her first baby had been born just six months before. It is all a thing of the past; and now I should find it difficult to define what there was so exceptional in her, what it was in her attracted me so much; at the time, at dinner, it was all perfectly clear to me. I saw a lovely young, good, intelligent, fascinating woman, such as I had never met before; and I felt her at once some one close and already familiar, as though that face, those cordial, intelligent eyes, I had seen somewhere in my childhood, in the album which lay on my mother’s chest of drawers.
“四個猶太人被指控爲縱火犯，被當作是一夥強盜，而在我看來，毫無根據。吃晚飯時我非常興奮，又侷促不安，都不知道自己說了些什麼。而安娜·阿列克絲耶夫娜不停地揮動着頭問她的丈夫：
“‘迪米特里，這是怎麼回事？’
“盧格諾維奇是個溫厚的人，是那些心思簡單的人之一，一旦一個人在法庭之前被指控有罪他就會堅持這個看法，除非以法定的書面形式，絕不會在晚餐桌上與私人會談時表示對判決正確性的懷疑。
“‘你和我都沒有放火燒那地方，’他溫和地說，‘你看我們都沒有被判有罪，也沒有進監獄。’
“Four Jews were charged with being incendiaries, were regarded as a gang of robbers, and, to my mind, quite groundlessly. At dinner I was very much excited, I was uncomfortable, and I don’t know what I said, but Anna Alexyevna kept shaking her head and saying to her husband:
“ ‘Dmitry, how is this?’
“Luganovitch is a good-natured man, one of those simple-hearted people who firmly maintain the opinion that once a man is charged before a court he is guilty, and to express doubt of the correctness of a sentence cannot be done except in legal form on paper, and not at dinner and in private conversation.
“ ‘You and I did not set fire to the place,’ he said softly, ‘and you see we are not condemned, and not in prison.’
“他們夫妻兩人都設法讓我儘量多吃些，多喝些。從一些不重要的細節裏，例如，從他們一起泡咖啡的樣子，從他們從隻言片語裏就能理解對方的情形，我能推斷出他們生活得融洽而舒適，而且他們很高興有人來訪。吃過晚飯後，他們表演了鋼琴了二重奏。然後天色很晚了，我就回家了。那是初春時分。
“此後，我不間斷地在沙非諾度過了整個夏天，也沒有時間去想城裏的事。但是那些日子裏對那個優雅的金髮婦人的記憶仍留存在腦海裏。我沒有去想她，可是她輕盈的影子彷彿就躺在我心裏。
“And both husband and wife tried to make me eat and drink as much as possible. From some trifling details, from the way they made the coffee together, for instance, and from the way they understood each other at half a word, I could gather that they lived in harmony and comfort, and that they were glad of a visitor. After dinner they played a duet on the piano; then it got dark, and I went home. That was at the beginning of spring.
“After that I spent the whole summer at Sofino without a break, and I had no time to think of the town, either, but the memory of the graceful fair-haired woman remained in my mind all those days; I did not think of her, but it was as though her light shadow were lying on my heart.
“深秋，城裏舉行一場以慈善爲目的的戲劇演出。中場休息時我接到邀請去了鎮長的包廂，我一看，安娜·阿列克絲耶夫娜正坐在鎮長夫人的旁邊。她的美麗溫柔，她那親切的眼神，再一次令我不可抗拒，令我激動不已，我的心裏再次涌起了那種親近的感覺。我們肩並肩地坐着，然後去了休息室。
“她說：‘你瘦了。生病了嗎？’
“‘是的，我的肩膀患了風溼，下雨天就睡不着。’
“‘你看起來有些沮喪。春天裏，來吃晚飯時，你更年輕，更自信。那時你充滿熱情，口若懸河，你非常有趣，我必須承認我的心有幾分已被你帶走了。不知道爲什麼夏季時我經常想起你，今晚爲看演出而做準備時我想我會看到你。’
“然後她笑了。
“In the late autumn there was a theatrical performance for some charitable object in the town. I went into the governor’s box (I was invited to go there in the interval); I looked, and there was Anna Alexyevna sitting beside the governor’s wife; and again the same irresistible, thrilling impression of beauty and sweet, caressing eyes, and again the same feeling of nearness. We sat side by side, then went to the foyer.
“ ‘You’ve grown thinner,’ she said; ‘have you been ill?’
“ ‘Yes, I’ve had rheumatism in my shoulder, and in rainy weather I can’t sleep.’
“ ‘You look dispirited. In the spring, when you came to dinner, you were younger, more confident. You were full of eagerness, and talked a great deal then; you were very interesting, and I really must confess I was a little carried away by you. For some reason you often came back to my memory during the summer, and when I was getting ready for the theatre today I thought I should see you.’
“And she laughed.
“‘可是今天你看起來很沮喪，’她再三地說：‘這使你看上去像是比春天時老了。’
“第二天我在盧格諾維奇家吃午飯。吃過午飯後他們駕車去他們的夏季別墅，爲去那兒過冬做安排，我跟他們一起去了。然後又與他們回到城裏，午夜時與他們在安靜的家庭環境裏一起喝茶。當時爐火融融，年輕的媽媽每隔一會就去看看她的寶貝女兒睡着了沒有。從那以後，每次去城裏我都會去拜訪盧格諾維奇一家。他們慢慢習慣了我的到來，我也慢慢習慣了去看望他們。通常我都說來就來，好像我是那個家的一員。
“ ‘But you look dispirited today,’ she repeated; ‘it makes you seem older.’
“The next day I lunched at the Luganovitchs’. After lunch they drove out to their summer villa, in order to make arrangements there for the winter, and I went with them. I returned with them to the town, and at midnight drank tea with them in quiet domestic surroundings, while the fire glowed, and the young mother kept going to see if her baby girl was asleep. And after that, every time I went to town I never failed to visit the Luganovitchs. They grew used to me, and I grew used to them. As a rule I went in unannounced, as though I were one of the family.
“‘是誰啊？’我會聽到安娜·阿列克絲耶夫娜在遠遠的房間裏問道，在我聽來那慵懶的聲音多麼可愛啊！
“‘是帕韋爾·康斯坦蒂諾維奇，’女僕或者保姆回答道。
“安娜·阿列克絲耶夫娜會一臉焦急地向我走來，每次她都會問：
“‘爲什麼這麼久纔來？出了什麼事嗎？’
“她的眼神，她伸給我的美麗優雅的手，她的日常家居衣服，她梳的頭髮的式樣，她的聲音，她的腳步，總給我同樣的印象，這是我的生活裏剛剛獲得的非凡的東西，非常重要的東西。我們一聊幾個小時，然後靜靜地想各自的心事，或者她給我彈上幾小時的鋼琴。如果他們不在家我就留下來等，跟保姆聊聊，和小孩子們玩，或者到書房的沙發上躺着看書。安娜·阿列克絲耶夫娜回來時我會迎到大廳裏，接下她手裏的所有包裹，爲了某種原因每次我都會像一個孩子一樣滿懷愛意，一樣一本正經地拿過那些包裹。
‘Who is there?’ I would hear from a faraway room, in the drawling voice that seemed to me so lovely.
“ ‘It is Pavel Konstantinovitch,’ answered the maid or the nurse.
“Anna Alexyevna would come out to me with an anxious face, and would ask every time:
“ ‘Why is it so long since you have been? Has anything happened?’
“Her eyes, the elegant refined hand she gave me, her indoor dress, the way she did her hair, her voice, her step, always produced the same impression on me something new and extraordinary in my life, and very important. We talked together for hours, were silent, thinking each our own thoughts, or she played for hours to me on the piano. If there were no one at home I stayed and waited, talked to the nurse, played with the child, or lay on the sofa in the study and read; and when Anna Alexyevna came back I met her in the hall, took all her parcels from her, and for some reason I carried those parcels every time with as much love, with as much solemnity, as a boy.
“有這麼一個諺語：如果一個農婦沒有任何煩惱會買一頭小豬。盧格諾維奇夫婦生活順心，因此他們跟我交朋友。如果我不進城肯定是病了或者發生了什麼事，他們夫婦倆就非常擔心。他們悶悶不樂於我這個受過語言文學教育的人應該做學問或從事文學工作，卻生活在農村，像一隻憤怒的松鼠轉着圈子狂奔一樣辛苦勞作卻看不到收穫。他們認爲我不快樂，我只是說着笑着或用吃東西來掩飾我的痛苦，甚至在我覺得快樂時的高興時刻我也感覺得到他們直盯盯的搜索的眼神。我真的心情沮喪時他們非常令人感動。當我爲一些債主焦慮或沒有足夠的錢準時償還利息時，他們倆，丈夫和妻子就會走到窗子旁耳語，然後盧格諾維奇走向我一臉嚴肅地跟我說：‘帕韋爾·康斯坦蒂諾維奇，如果你目前真的需要錢，我妻子和我請求你別不好意思跟我們借。’
“There is a proverb that if a peasant woman has no troubles she will buy a pig. The Luganovitchs had no troubles, so they made friends with me. If I did not come to the town I must be ill or something must have happened to me, and both of them were extremely anxious. They were worried that I, an educated man with a knowledge of languages, should, instead of devoting myself to science or literary work, live in the country, rush round like a squirrel in a rage, work hard with never a penny to show for it. They fancied that I was unhappy, and that I only talked, laughed, and ate to conceal my sufferings, and even at cheerful moments when I felt happy I was aware of their searching eyes fixed upon me. They were particularly touching when I really was depressed, when I was being worried by some creditor or had not money enough to pay interest on the proper day. The two of them, husband and wife, would whisper together at the window; then he would come to me and say with a grave face:“ ‘If you really are in need of money at the moment, Pavel Konstantinovitch, my wife and I beg you not to hesitate to borrow from us.’
“他會激動得連耳根子都紅了。也還會發生這樣的情形，同樣地經過在窗子邊的低聲耳語後，盧格諾維奇滿臉通紅地走向我對我說：
“‘我妻子和我誠懇地請你收下這份禮物。’
“他會送給我幾顆鈕飾，一個雪茄盒或是一盞燈，而我將回送他們從鄉下帶來的野味，黃油和鮮花。順便提一下，他們夫妻相當富有。早期我經常借錢，跟任何缺錢的人一樣——從任何我借得到錢的地方借——可是無論如何都不能促使我向盧格諾維奇借錢。唉，爲什麼說這些呢？
“And he would blush to his ears with emotion. And it would happen that, after whispering in the same way at the window, he would come up to me, with red ears, and say:
“ ‘My wife and I earnestly I beg you to accept this present.’
“And he would give me studs, a cigar-case, or a lamp, and I would send them game, butter, and flowers from the country. They both, by the way, had considerable means of their own. In early days I often borrowed money, and was not very particular about it—borrowed wherever I could—but nothing in the world have induced me to borrow from the Luganovitchs. But why talk of it?
“我悶悶不樂。在家裏，在地裏，在牲畜棚裏，我都在想她。我苦苦思索一個美麗、聰明的年輕女人爲什麼要嫁給一個無趣、幾乎可以做她父親的人（她丈夫已四十出頭），還跟他生孩子；想弄懂這個無趣、善良、心思簡單的男人，在舞會和晚會上一直待在更刻板的人身邊，用令人厭煩的機智爭論着，看上去倦怠而多餘，臉上的表情順從而無動於衷，就像他被帶到那兒出售一樣，爲什麼還認爲他有權利快樂，有權利有她的孩子。且我一直想弄清楚爲什麼她先遇到的是他而不是我，爲什麼在我們的生活裏要發生這麼一個可怕的錯誤。
“I was unhappy. At home, in the fields, in the barn, I thought of her; I tried to understand the mystery of a beautiful, intelligent young woman’s marrying some one so uninteresting, almost an old man (her husband was over forty), and having children by him; to understand the mystery of this uninteresting, good, simple-hearted man, who argued with such wearisome good sense, at balls and evening parties kept near the more solid people, looking listless and superfluous, with a submissive, uninterested expression, as though he had been brought there for sale, who yet believed in his right to be happy, to have children by her; and I kept trying to understand why she had met him first and not me, and why such a terrible mistake in our lives need have happened.
“我去城裏時每次都從她的目光裏看到她在期待着我，並且她會親自對我承認在所有的那些天裏她有一種特殊的感覺猜想我應該來了。我們長時間地交談，沉默，但是都不承認愛着對方，而是膽怯猜疑地隱藏起對對方的愛。我們害怕可能向我們自己暴露出我們祕密的任何事情。我溫柔地深深地愛着她，但是我一直在細想這份愛，一直在問自己如果我們沒有力量抗拒這份愛，這份愛能通往何方。似乎難以置信我溫柔、悲傷的愛可能突然粗暴地打破她的丈夫，她的孩子，以及我如此熱愛和信賴的這個家庭的平靜的生活進程。這是合乎名譽的嗎？如果她願意跟我走，可是能走到哪兒去呢？我能帶她去哪裏呢？如果我有一份美好、有趣的生活就是另一回事了——例如，要是我一直在努力擺脫農村，或者要是我是一個著名的學問家，或者藝術家或者畫家就好了。可是那樣就將意味着把她從每天的單調生活裏帶到另一種單調甚至可能更加單調的生活裏。而我們的幸福會持續多久呢？萬一我病了，萬一我死了，或者如果我們只是對彼此變得冷漠了，她將會怎麼樣呢？
“And when I went to the town I saw every time from her eyes that she was expecting me, and she would confess to me herself that she had had a peculiar feeling all that day guessed that I should come. We talked a long time, and were silent, yet we did not confess our love to each other, but timidly and jealously concealed it. We were afraid of everything that might reveal our secret to ourselves. I loved her tenderly, deeply, but I reflected and kept asking myself what our love could lead to if we had not the strength to fight against it. It seemed to be incredible that my gentle, sad love could all at once coarsely break up the even tenor of the life of her husband, her children, and all the household in which I was so loved and trusted. Would it be honourable? She would go away with me, but where? Where could I take her? It would have been a different matter if I had had a beautiful, interesting life—if, for instance, I had been struggling for the emancipation of my country, or had been a celebrated man of science, an artist or a painter; but as it was it would mean taking her from one everyday humdrum life to another as humdrum or perhaps more so. And how long would our happiness last? What would happen to her in case I was ill, in case I died, or if we simply grew cold to one another?
“同樣地，顯然她也有充分的理由。她要考慮她的丈夫，孩子，還有她的母親，她母親愛她父親就像愛孩子一樣。如果她放縱自己到感情裏她將不得不說謊，要不然說出事實真相，以她的地位這兩種後果都同樣糟糕和不便。且她還要受到她的愛是否將帶我給幸福這個問題的折磨——事實上，我的生活已經夠辛苦和困難重重了，她不會使我的生活更復雜嗎？她認爲對我來說她不夠年輕了，要開始一種新生活她既不勤奮也沒有足夠的精力。她常常跟她丈夫說娶一個聰明的好女孩對我來說很重要，她會成爲我的助手，成爲一個能幹的主婦，不過她會立刻補充說要在全城找到一個這樣的女孩子並不容易。
“And she apparently reasoned in the same way. She thought of her husband, her children, and of her mother, who loved the husband like a son. If she abandoned herself to her feelings she would have to lie, or else to tell the truth, and in her position either would have been equally terrible and inconvenient. And she was tormented by the question whether her love would bring me happiness—would she not complicate my life, which, as it was, was hard enough and full of all sorts of trouble? She fancied she was not young enough for me, that she was not industrious nor energetic enough to begin a new life, and she often talked to her husband of the importance of my marrying a girl of intelligence and merit who would be a capable housewife and a help to me—and she would immediately add that it would be difficult to find such a girl in the whole town.
“這幾年時間就這麼過去了。安娜·阿列克絲耶夫娜已經有了兩個孩子。當我來到盧格諾維奇家時，僕人們都對我露出親切的笑容，孩子們大叫着帕韋爾·康斯坦蒂諾維奇叔叔來了，吊到我脖子上，每個人都欣喜若狂。他們不知道我的內心在經歷怎樣的掙扎，認爲我也是高興的。每個人都把我看作一個貴族。大人們和孩子們都覺得一個高貴的人正穿梭在他們的家裏，這使得他們對我的態度有一種特殊的吸引力，彷彿他們的生活有了我也更純淨和更美好了。安娜·阿列克絲耶夫娜和我經常一起去劇院，總是走着去。我們常常肩膀擦着肩膀，並排坐在前排座位裏。我會一言不發地從她手裏拿過觀劇望遠鏡，感覺那一刻她就在我身旁，她就是我的，沒有對方我們將活不下去。可是由於某些奇怪的誤解，走出劇院我們總是彷彿陌生人一樣說再見分手了。天知道鎮上已經有些什麼人在談論我們了，可是完全沒有一句真話！
“Meanwhile the years were passing. Anna Alexyevna already had two children. When I arrived at the Luganovitchs’ the servants smiled cordially, the children shouted that Uncle Pavel Konstantinovitch had come, and hung on my neck; every one was overjoyed. They did not understand what was passing in my soul, and thought that I, too, was happy. Every one looked on me as a noble being. And grown-ups and children alike felt that a noble being was walking about their rooms, and that gave a peculiar charm to their manner towards me, as though in my presence their life, too, was purer and more beautiful. Anna Alexyevna and I used to go to the theatre together, always walking there; we used to sit side by side in the stalls, our shoulders touching. I would take the opera-glass from her hands without a word, and feel at that minute that she was near me, that she was mine, that we could not live without each other; but by some strange misunderstanding, when we came out of the theatre we always said good- bye and parted as though we were strangers. Goodness knows what people were saying about us in the town already, but there was not a word of truth in it all!
“後來的幾年裏安娜·阿列克絲耶夫娜開始時常去看望她母親或去她姐姐那。她開始情緒低落，開始認爲她的生活被擾亂，並感到不滿了，她有時不再關心她的丈夫，也不關心她的孩子了。她已開始接受神經衰弱的治療。
“我們在一起時除了沉默還是沉默。而在外人面前她對我表現出一種奇怪的憤怒，不管我說什麼，她都跟我唱反調，要是我與人爭論，她就支持我的對手。如果我掉了什麼東西，她會冷冷地說：
“‘恭喜你了。’
“去劇院時如果我忘了拿觀劇望遠鏡，過後她會說：
“‘我知道你會忘記的。’
“In the latter years Anna Alexyevna took to going away for frequent visits to her mother or to her sister; she began to suffer from low spirits, she began to recognize that her life was spoilt and unsatisfied, and at times she did not care to see her husband nor her children. She was already being treated for neurasthenia.
“We were silent and still silent, and in the presence of outsiders she displayed a strange irritation in regard to me; whatever I talked about, she disagreed with me, and if I had an argument she sided with my opponent. If I dropped anything, she would say coldly:
“ ‘I congratulate you.’
“If I forgot to take the opera-glass when we were going to the theatre, she would say afterwards:
“ ‘I knew you would forget it.’
“不知道是幸運還是不幸，在我們的生活中沒有不散的筵席。因爲盧格諾維奇被指派爲西部一個省份的主席，離別的日子終於到來了。他們不得不賣掉他們的傢俱，馬，和夏季別墅。當他們駕車去別墅時，然後回想到他們是最後一次去看看那花園，那綠色的屋頂，每個人都很難過，而我知道我不得不說再見的不只是別墅而已。已經安排好八月底我們給安娜·阿列克絲耶夫娜送行，她去克里米亞，那裏的醫生正在照看她。緊接着盧格諾維奇和孩子們動身去西部省份
“Luckily or unluckily, there is nothing in our lives that does not end sooner or later. The time of parting came, as Luganovitch was appointed president in one of the western provinces. They had to sell their furniture, their horses, their summer villa. When they drove out to the villa, and afterwards looked back as they were going away, to look for the last time at the garden, at the green roof, every one was sad, and I realized that I had to say good-bye not only to the villa. It was arranged that at the end of August we should see Anna Alexyevna off to the Crimea, where the doctors were sending her, and that a little later Luganovitch and the children would set off for the western province.
“我們一大羣人去給安娜·阿列克絲耶夫娜送行。當她跟她的丈夫和孩子們道完別後，還有一分鐘第三次鈴就要響了。我跑進她的車廂把一個籃子——她差點忘記了——放上行李架，然後我不得不跟她說再見了。在車廂裏四目相對時我們精神上的堅韌土崩瓦解，我把她抱進懷裏，她把臉龐壓到我的胸膛上，淚如雨下。我吻她的臉龐，她的肩頭，她被淚水打溼了的雙手——唉，多麼悲痛欲絕啊！——承認了對她的愛。在強烈的心痛中我意識到那阻止我們相愛的所有問題是多麼多餘，多麼微不足道而虛僞。我懂得了當愛上一個人時必須在你對那份愛的評價中，認爲那份愛是最高尚的開始去愛；或者在幸福或不幸，過失或美德的衆所公認的意義中，認爲愛比它們更重要地開始去愛。或者根本不必想什麼，只管大膽去愛。
We were a great crowd to see Anna Alexyevna off. When she had said good-bye to her husband and her children and there was only a minute left before the third bell, I ran into her compartment to put a basket, which she had almost forgotten, on the rack, and I had to say good-bye. When our eyes met in the compartment our spiritual fortitude deserted us both; I took her in my arms, she pressed her face to my breast, and tears flowed from her eyes. Kissing her face, her shoulders, her hands wet with tears—oh, how unhappy were!—I confessed my love for her, and with a burning pain in my heart I realized how unnecessary, how petty, and how deceptive all that had hindered us from loving was. I understood that when you love you must either, in your reasonings about that love, start from what is highest, from what is more important than happiness or unhappiness, sin or virtue in their accepted meaning, or you must not reason at all.
“我最後一次吻了她，緊握了一下她的手，然後永遠地離開了。火車已經開了，我走進下一個車廂裏——那是一個空車廂——一直坐在那兒哭直到火車抵達下一個站。然後回到沙非諾的家……。”
“I kissed her for the last time, pressed her hand, and parted for ever. The train had already started. I went into the next compartment—it was empty—and until I reached the next station I sat there crying. Then I walked home to Sofino….”
在阿列恆講述他的故事時，雨停了，太陽出來了。伯京和伊凡·伊凡諾維奇去了陽臺，從那兒能看到花園和磨坊池塘那邊的美麗景色，磨坊池塘此刻在陽光下像鏡子一樣閃閃發光。他們讚賞這美麗的景色，同時傷感目光親切睿智的阿列恆——他飽含真情地給他們講述了這個故事——一直像輪子上的松鼠一樣旋轉不息地在這個巨大的莊園裏奔忙，而不去做學問或從事其它將使他的生活更舒心的工作；他們還想到了當阿列恆在火車上跟她道別並親吻她的臉龐和肩頭時安娜·阿列克絲耶夫娜必定悲痛欲絕的臉。他們兩人都在城裏見過她，伯京還認識安娜·阿列克絲耶夫娜，認爲她真是一個美人。
While Alehin was telling his story, the rain left off and the sun came out. Burkin and Ivan Ivanovitch went out on the balcony, from which there was a beautiful view over the garden and the mill-pond, which was shining now in the sunshine like a mirror. They admired it, and at the same time they were sorry that this man with the kind, clever eyes, who had told them this story with such genuine feeling, should be rushing round and round this huge estate like a squirrel on a wheel instead of devoting himself to science or something else which would have made his life more pleasant; and they thought what a sorrowful face Anna Alexyevna must have had when he said good-bye to her in the railway-carriage and kissed her face and shoulders. Both of them had met her in the town, and Burkin knew her and thought her beautiful.
