雙語散文:等待清風

Waiting For the Breeze

No air conditioning? How can you sleep??a friend asks, horrified. I've just revealed that my family has decided to turn the air conditioner off and trim our electric bill.

"Nobody opens a window, day or night," warns another friend, whose windows have been painted shut for a decade. "It's just not safe.?On this first night of our cost cutting adventure, it's 30 degrees. We're not going to suffer, but the three kids grumble anyway. They've grown up in 22-degree comfort, insulated from the world outside.

"How do you open these windows??my husband asks. Jiggling the metal tabs, he finally releases one. A potpourri* of bug bodies decorates the sill. As we spring the windows one by one, the night noises howl outside - and in.

"It's just too hot to sleep," my 13-year-old daughter complains.

"I'm about to die from this heat," her brother yells down the passage.

"Just try it tonight," I tell them.

In truth I'm too tired to argue for long. I'm exhausted after attending Grandma's estate auction. I toted home her oval tin bathtub and the chair I once stood on like a big shot behind the counter of her shop, packing chocolate and rolling coins.

My face is sweaty, but I lie quietly listening to the cricket choirs outside that remind me of childhood. The neighbour's dog howls. Probably a trespassing squirrel. It's been years since I've taken the time to really listen to the night.

I think about Grandma, who lived to 92 and still supervised Mum's gardening until just a few weeks before she died.

And then, I'm back there at her house in the summer heat of my childhood.
I move my pillow to the foot of Grandma's bed and angle my face towards the open window. I flip the pillow, hunting for the cooler side.

Grandma sees me thrashing. "If you'll just watch for the breeze," she says, "you'll cool off and fall asleep.?She cranks up the Venetian blinds. I stare at the filmy white curtain, willing it to flutter.

Lying still, waiting, I suddenly notice the life outside the window. The bug chorus shouts, "Ajooga! Ajooga!?Neighbours, sitting on their verandas until late, speak in hazy words with sanded edges that soothe me.

"Keep watching for the breeze," Grandma says softly, and I'm h-huh?in reply. Bugs ping the screen. Three blocks away a train rumbles by.

I catch the scent of fresh grass clippings. Then I hear something I can't decode - perhaps a tree branch raking the shingles on the shop roof next door.

Sleepy-eyed now, I focus on the curtain. It flutters...

"Mum, did you hear that?"my seven-year-old blurts. "I think it was an owl family.?"

Probably," I tell keep listening...?

Without the droning air conditioner, the house is oddly peaceful, and the unfiltered night noises seem close enough to touch.

I hope I'm awake tonight when the first breeze sneaks in.

我剛跟朋友說起我們家要關上空調，省點電費，朋友就嚇了一跳，說："不開空調，你睡得着嗎？"

另一個朋友也提醒我："不論白天還是晚上，都沒人會開着窗戶的，這樣不安全。"她家的窗戶刷過漆後，已經關了十年了。

我們家開始省電的第一天晚上，氣溫是30度，我們並不覺得難捱，可是三個孩子抱怨個不停。畢竟他們是在與外界隔絕的、22度恆溫的舒適環境里長大的。

"這些窗戶怎麼開呀？"丈夫問。他搖晃着金屬插銷，好不容易纔打開了一扇。各式各樣昆蟲的屍體裝點着窗臺。隨着窗戶一扇扇地打開，我們聽見外面呼嘯着的夜晚的聲音--涌了進來。

13歲的女兒抱怨說："太熱了，睡不着。"

她弟弟也借題發揮，嚷嚷着："熱死了，熱死了。"

"今晚就試試看吧。"我對他們說。

我實在太累了，不想和他們多爭辯，白天參加完祖母的房產拍賣會後我已經筋疲力盡了。我把她的橢圓形錫制浴缸和一把椅子搬回了家。那把椅子本來放在祖母店裏的櫃檯後面，我曾經像個大人物似的，站在上面，把巧克力包起來，硬幣捲成卷。

我的臉上汗涔涔的，但我仍然靜靜地躺着，聽着窗外--蟋蟀的歌唱勾起了童年的記憶。鄰居家的狗突然狂叫起來，可能是一隻松鼠驚動了它。我已經很多年沒有花時間去傾聽夜晚的聲音了。

我想起了祖母。她活到92歲，去世前幾周還幫媽媽照料花園。

此時，我好像又回到了祖母家裏，回到小時候的夏季熱浪中。

我把枕頭挪到祖母的牀腳，臉衝向開着的窗戶。我不停地翻轉着枕頭，想找涼快的一面。

祖母看着我翻來覆去的，就說："等着起風吧，一會兒你就會涼快下來，睡着了。"

她捲起了百葉簾，我盯着那薄薄的白窗簾，盼着它能飄起來。

我靜靜地躺着，等待着。突然，窗外的生機引起了我的注意：昆蟲在吱吱嗡嗡地合鳴；鄰居們坐在陽臺上，直到夜深，他們說話的聲音有些模糊，那聲音讓我平靜下來。

"等着風起來吧。"祖母柔聲對我說。我嗯嗯作答。昆蟲砰砰地撞到紗窗上。三個街區以外，火車隆隆駛過。

我聞到了新割的青草的氣息。還有一種說不清是什麼的聲音--可能是樹枝掃過隔壁店鋪的屋頂吧。

眼皮發沉了，我還是盯着窗簾，終於，窗簾飄了起來……

"媽媽，你聽到了嗎？"7歲的孩子突然叫起來，"是貓頭鷹一家吧?quot;

"可能是，聽着吧……"我說。

沒有空調嗡嗡的轟鳴聲，房間裏靜得出奇，未經過濾的夜晚的聲音近得似乎伸手可及。

我希望，今晚，當第一縷清風吹動時，我仍醒着。