當愛人變成親人:現在我衝你大吼大叫你還會愛我嗎
Since they met five years ago, life has changed Rowan Martin and John Hornsby. It has also changed their relationship. In frank letters to each other, they describe the gains - and the losses.
自五年前相遇後，羅恩·馬丁和約翰·霍恩斯比的生活就發生了變化。倆人的關係也發生了變化。他們在信中彼此坦言，描述了各自的得失。Dear John
親愛的約翰I thought having a family would bring us closer together. Five years and two kids later, I sometimes feel like nothing could have driven us apart. In the beginning, we talked eagerly and innocently about maintaining two careers and parenting equally. It hasn't played out like that. Lack of flexible work and affordable childcare has forced us into two distinct and separate roles. Most of the time, I look after the kids and you pay the bills.
我原以爲組建家庭會讓我們走的更近。五年過去且有了兩個孩子之後，我有時會覺得沒什麼能讓我們分開（事實已經分開了）。開始時，我們急切而又天真的討論着兩個人同時上班，一起教育孩子。但事實並非如此。工作的不靈活性和支付不起的託管迫使我們倆分別扮演着截然不同的角色。大多數時候，我照顧孩子們，而你負責買單。
So when I'm wrangling with a trolley laden down with our wilful offspring or scraping diarrhoea off a sheepskin rug, it is easy to resent you for the freedom I imagine you enjoy out there in the world of reasonable adults and measurable goals. The burden of domestic drudgery and the intense pressure of meeting our children's unending needs and incessant demands often blinds me to the fact that you carry the equal burden of keeping a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs.
所以當我們任性的孩子們坐在小推車上，我與他們爭吵時或者我颳去羊皮地毯上的腹瀉物時，我很容易就會憎恨你，因爲我以爲你正在外面的世界享受自由，外面的世界充滿着理智的成年人和可衡量的目標。家裏的雜活和滿足孩子們無止境的、不斷的需求讓我倍感壓力，通常會矇蔽我看清事實：你也承受着相同的負擔，需要供房，還需要確保我們有衣服穿。
Though I spend a lot of time lying in the gutter with the kids, we do occasionally look up at the stars. Sharing with you the funny, bizarre and sweet words that tumble from their mouths should be something I do religiously.
雖然我很多時間都和孩子們生活，庸庸碌碌，但我們也會偶爾擡頭仰望清涼如水的天空。我會真誠的與你分享孩子們說出的有趣、異想天開而又甜蜜的話語。Hilarious or disastrous, you miss so much, and my heart breaks for you. But I miss nothing - when they are hurt, hungry, tired, scared or sad, when they wake in the night, again and again, it is so often me they call out for.
不管歡樂還是災難，你錯過的太多太多，我的心都爲你而碎。但我什麼都沒錯過--當孩子們受傷、飢餓、疲勞、擔心、傷心或者夜裏一次又一次的醒來時，他們叫的通常是我。
