單身也是一種選擇,所以不要內疚了

As Gretchen Weiners from Mean Girls would probably say: "Oh my god, you can't just ask people why they're single." The question is intrusive, personal, and, above all, none of your damn business. But for some reason, so many people feel the need to ask anyway, in which case, you can simply answer with: "I choose to be." I asked sexologist Dr. Nikki Goldstein, author of Single But Dating: A Field Guide to Dating in the Digital Age, what the best response to that question is, and she dished out those four words without skipping a beat.

正如《賤女孩》電影中的格雷琴·維娜可能會說："我的天哪，你可不能直接問別人爲什麼他們還是單身！"一樣，這個問題具有侵犯性、是私人問題，而且根本就不關你的事啊。但由於某些原因，很多人都覺得有必要問爲什麼，在這種情況下，你可能會回道："我就是想單身啊。"我諮詢了《保持單身但不拒絕約會：數字時代約會的現場指南》（Single But Dating: A Field Guide to Dating in the Digital Age）一書的作者兼性學專家尼克·戈德斯坦醫生，向她詢問該問題的最佳回答，而她想都不想就說了一句話。

Being single is a choice, plain and simple.

單身是種選擇，平淡而又簡單。

In fact, you don't even need to give family, strangers, or any other priers the luxury of an explanation. "It's one of those offensive questions," Nikki said. "You don't even have to answer that if you don't want to; it's like saying, 'Why is the sky blue?'" As much as a woman's independence is now celebrated and admired, there's still some social stigma behind a single relationship status. Especially as a woman gets older, she can feel more pressure to settle down because god forbid you are 30 and want to work on yourself before taking on a marriage. Having a partner doesn't validate who you are, and those who take the time to focus on personal growth often make better partners and are also happier when they are ready to get involved in a relationship.

事實上，你根本就無需向家人、陌生人或任何其他的窺探者解釋理由。"這是個冒犯人的問題，"尼克說道。"如果你不想，你根本不需要回答這個問題；這就好像在說，'爲什麼天是藍的？'"雖然現在很多人都慶祝並欣賞女性獨立，但單身仍會被人說三道四。尤其是當女人年紀越來越大時，她們會承受越來越多的壓力：安頓下來。因爲上帝啊，你都已經30歲了，你還想在結婚前一個人打拼奮鬥嗎？擁有戀人並不能證明你是誰，而那些花時間自我成長的人往往會是很棒的伴侶，一旦準備好迎接感情，這些人也往往更開心。

If someone refuses to take that succinct response for an answer, and if you feel inclined to share, Nikki suggests hitting them back with, "This is where I am in my life, and I'm actually really happy." If someone is so interested in your love life, they must care about you, right? And they can't have much to say further if they know that, most importantly, you're happy.

如果有人不信你簡明扼要的答覆，如果你願意分享的話，尼克建議你可以回擊這樣一句，"現在我的生活就是這樣，而且我真的很開心。"如果有人對你的感情生活十分感興趣，那他們肯定是關心你的，對不？如果他們知道你很開心的話，他們應該不會再說什麼了吧！