和已婚男士的那段婚外情教會了我這些東西

When you are in a relationship, cheating is one of the worst things that can happen. First the rage sets in, then self-doubt, more rage, then the hurt. You find yourself questioning every little thing, and even eventually, you may begin to blame yourself. The reasons people cheat tend to be pretty broad, but take it from someone who has been on both sides of the cheating fence: it feels awful no matter what end of it you are on.

戀愛時最糟心的事情莫過於被出軌。首先你會感到憤怒，然後會自我懷疑、更憤怒，再之後就是受傷。你發現自己會質疑每一件小事，甚至到最後，你開始責怪自己。人們出軌的原因往往很多，但聽聽看既出軌別人又被出軌的人是怎麼說的吧：無論出於何種目的出軌，那種感覺都是很糟糕的。

In graduate school while finishing my thesis, I found myself in a pretty lonely position. I loved the topic I was researching, but socially my life had become pretty isolated. It was all about getting edits to my adviser, research, and what my next professional steps would be, which didn't leave much time for dating.

大學寫畢業論文的時候，我發現自己十分孤獨。我喜歡我研究的這個課題，但我的社交生活卻十分孤立。當時的我一直找導師改文章、做科研，以及思考下一步的職業規劃，所以沒什麼時間約會。

It was also around this time I began to work pretty regularly at a bar near campus. The coffee was pretty decent, happy hour was all day, and I could work there and still feel like I was getting human contact. I worked in that same bar for months, until finally, one day, I felt a tap on my shoulder. An older man introduced himself, asked if I came there often. In the same conversation, he also casually mentioned he was a professor at the same university I attended.

也是在那段時間，我開始在學校附近的一家酒吧定期工作。他家的咖啡很好喝，我每天都很開心，而且在那邊工作的時候，我還能與他人接觸。我在同一家酒吧工作了幾個月，直到有一天，我感覺有人拍了拍我的肩膀。一位大叔介紹了他自己，問我是不是經常來這兒。對話中，他隨意的提到自己是一位教授，正好就職於我在的那所大學。

I thought nothing of it at the time, but over the next month, I kept running into him. Eventually he offered to buy me a drink and asked me more about my research. Although we were in different fields, it was nice to have someone take an interest in my work besides my thesis adviser. These kinds of casual conversations went on for a few months, until he started to invite me out with his other graduate students.

當時我啥都沒想，但接下來的一個月，我總是遇到他。最後，他說請我喝一杯，問了我更多關於科研方面的問題。雖然我們研究不同的領域，但除了導師，有其他人關心我的工作着實令我欣慰。又過了幾個月，我們一直都這樣閒聊着，直到他開始邀請我和他的畢業生一起出去。

It seemed like a fun opportunity and something I should take advantage of. But little did I know, this much older professor was angling for more than my research. The drinks with his graduate students eventually turned into late-night texting with him. I knew better than to flirt with a much older, married, tenured professor but thought it was flattering to have his attention.

這似乎是個有趣的機會，我也想利用這個機會。但我所知甚少，因爲這位年紀稍大的教授不僅只對我的研究感興趣。和他指導的畢業生在一起喝酒最後演變成我和他在深夜發短信。我不至於笨到和一個年紀大的、已婚的終身教授調情，但卻又覺得獲得他的青睞十分動心。