爲什麼要和某人分手,即使你很愛他/她?大綱

Deciding to break up with someone is rarely easy. It's made even harder when you are breaking up with someone you love. No matter what your friends or family tell you, ending it with a significant other only comes when you realize that this person is more of a negative than a positive in your life.

決定分手並不容易。與相愛之人分手更爲困難。無論你的朋友或家人是怎麼跟你說的，你只應在這種情況下與另一半結束這段感情：當你意識到他在你生活中扮演的負面角色大於正面角色時。

Looking at the big picture and how your partner impacts you can allow you to make a wise and thought out decision. While it may be hard to see at the time, there are quite a few reasons to break up with someone even if you love them.

縱觀大局，想象另一半對你的影響會讓你做出明智而深思熟慮的決定。雖然當時可能難以看清，但即使你很愛他/她，這些理由卻足以讓你離開他/她。

1. You can't trust them.

1. 你無法相信他/她。

No matter how much you love someone, you need to be able to trust them. Trust is absolutely paramount in a relationship. According to a study from Northwestern University and Redeemer University College in Ontario, Canada, those who have trust their partners are more likely to be in long-term and successful relationships, proving just how important that trust is.

無論你多麼愛一個人，你都應該能夠相信他/她。談戀愛時信任很重要。美國西北大學和加拿大安大略省的救世主大學開展的一項研究表明：信任另一半的人的戀情更有可能長久、成功，這也證明了信任的重要性。

2. They are emotionally manipulative.

2. 他們在情感上喜歡操縱。

From telling you that every argument is your fault to acting as if they can't live without you, an emotionally manipulative partner brings down your self-worth and leaves you relying on them.

從告訴你每一次爭吵都是你的錯到表現得他們離開你就活不下去，情感上喜歡操縱別人的另一半會降低你的自我價值，讓你變得依賴他們。

"Healthy social influence occurs between most people, and is part of the give and take of constructive relationships," Preston Ni, wrote in Psychology Today. "In psychological manipulation, one person is used for the benefit of another. The manipulator deliberately creates an imbalance of power and exploits the victim to serve his or her agenda."

"健康社會影響發生在大多數人身上，是建設性戀情給予與索取的一部分，"Preston Ni在《今日心理學》中寫道。"在心理操縱中，爲了自己的利益，他/她會利用另一半。操縱者故意造成權利失衡的假象，剝削受害者爲他/她做事。"

3. They isolate you from your friends.

3. 他們不讓你見自己的朋友。

Does your significant other get mad when you choose to hang out with your friends and not them? Do they speak negatively of others in your life? This tactic leaves you isolated from other support in your life and makes you rely more heavily on them, which can be a sign things are toxic.

當你選擇和朋友而非另一半出去玩的時候，他/她會不會抓狂？他們會不會說你熟人的壞話？這一策略讓你遠離生活中其他人的支持，讓你更依賴他們，這也是事情變質的一個跡象。

4. The distance is too much.

4. 你們相距甚遠。

While, despite what you might have heard, long distance can work, that doesn't mean it's easy and it's certainly not for everyone.

雖然你可能聽別人說異地戀是可以有結果的，但這並不意味着異地戀很容易維繫，而且並不是所有人都適合異地戀。