有這10個特點的人最討人喜歡,你佔了幾個?大綱

It's hard to say exactly why you like someone.

有時候，我們很難講清爲什麼會喜歡某個人。

Maybe it's their goofy smile; maybe it's their razor-sharp wit; or maybe it's simply that they're easy to be around.

也許是因爲他們憨厚可人的笑容；也許是因爲他們的聰慧機敏；也許僅僅只是因爲他們很好相處。

But scientists generally aren't satisfied with answers like that, and they've spent years trying to pinpoint the exact factors that draw one person to another.

但是科學家們並不滿足於這個答案，於是他們花費了數年來研究到底是哪些因素將人與人聯繫在了一起。

Below, we've rounded up some of their most intriguing findings. Read on for insights that will cast your current friendships in a new light — and will help you form better relationships, faster.

下面，我們彙總了一些他們的有趣發現。閱讀過後，你或許會對自己現階段的友情產生新的認識，也許這篇文章將幫助你迅速建立更好的人際關係。

1. Copy the person you're with

模仿對方

This strategy is called mirroring, and involves subtly mimicking another person's behavior. When talking to someone, try copying their body language, gestures, and facial expressions.

這一方法被稱爲鏡像模仿，也就是模仿對方的行爲。在你與他人交談的過程中，試着模仿他們的肢體語言、小動作和表情。

In 1999, New York University researchers documented the "chameleon effect", which occurs when people unconsciously mimic each other's behavior. That mimicry facilitates liking.

1999年，紐約大學的研究員就曾證明過 “變色龍效應”——當雙方下意識地模仿對方的行爲時，會增加相互間的好感。

Researchers had 72 men and women work on a task with a partner. The partners (who worked for the researchers) either mimicked the other participant's behavior or didn't, while researchers videotaped the interactions. At the end of the interaction, the researchers had participants indicate how much they liked their partners.

研究人員讓72位男女分別與一位搭檔組成一組，合作完成任務。搭檔則在研究員的要求下選擇模仿或者不模仿參與者的動作。與此同時，研究員用錄像機記錄整個過程。在互動結束後，參與者被要求表示出對搭檔的喜愛程度。

Sure enough, participants were more likely to say that they liked their partner when their partner had been mimicking their behavior.

果然，當搭檔模仿參與者動作時，更容易獲得參與者的好感。

2. Compliment other people

稱讚他人

People will associate the adjectives you use to describe other people with your personality. This phenomenon is called spontaneous trait transference.

在談話中，人們往往會將對方描述別人的詞語與對方的個人品質聯繫在一起。這一現象被稱爲“自發特質移情”。

If you describe someone else as genuine and kind, people will also associate you with those qualities. The reverse is also true: If you are constantly trashing people behind their backs, your friends will start to associate the negative qualities with you as well.

如果你把另一個人描述爲真誠和善良，對方也會認爲你是真誠和善良的。反之亦然：如果你總與你的朋友在背後說別人的壞話，你的朋友會認爲你也具有相同的特徵。

3. Try to display positive emotions

展示積極的情緒

Emotional contagion describes what happens when people are strongly influenced by the moods of other people. According to a research paper from the Ohio University and the University of Hawaii, people can unconsciously feel the emotions of those around them.

情緒是會傳染的，人們的心情深受他人情緒的影響。俄亥俄大學和夏威夷大學的一篇研究論文表明，人們會無意識地感知到周圍的情緒。

The authors of the paper say that's possibly because we naturally mimic others' movements and facial expressions, which in turn makes us feel something similar to what they're feeling.

論文的作者說，這很大程度上是因爲我們自然而然地會模仿他人的動作和表情，所以對他人的情緒也能感同身受。

If you want to make others feel happy when they're around you, do your best to communicate positive emotions.

如果你想讓你周圍的人快樂，就努力展示積極的情緒吧。

4. Reveal your flaws from time to time

偶爾暴露自己的缺點

According to the pratfall effect, people will like you more after you make a mistake — but only if they believe you are a competent person. Revealing that you aren't perfect makes you more relatable and vulnerable toward the people around you.

根據“仰巴腳效應”，對於優秀的人來說，一些微小的失誤會增加別人對他們的好感，因爲展示出不完美的一面會讓他們與別人更加親近。

Researcher Elliot Aronson asked male students from the University of Minnesota to listen to tape recordings of people taking a quiz.

研究員Elliot Aronson邀請了幾位來自明尼蘇達大學的男同學參與試驗，要求他們收聽一段測驗時的錄音。

When people did well on the quiz but spilled coffee at the end of the interview, the students rated them higher on likability than when they did well on the quiz and didn't spill coffee or didn't do well on the quiz and spilled coffee.

實驗結果表明，男同學們更喜歡那些雖然筆試成績優秀，但是在面試的最後階段弄灑咖啡的人，而不是那些筆試面試都完美無缺、或者表現都不好的人。

5. Casually touch them

不時進行身體接觸

Subliminal touching occurs when you touch a person so subtly that they barely notice. Common examples include tapping someone's back or touching their arm, which can make them feel more warmly toward you.

當你在對方几乎沒有發現的情況下，輕輕地觸碰對方時，就發生了下意識觸碰。常見的例子有：輕拍他人的後背或者手臂，讓他們感覺到溫暖和親近。

A University of Mississippi and Rhodes College experiment studied the effects of interpersonal touch on restaurant tipping, and had some waitresses briefly touch customers on the hand or shoulder as they were returning their change. As it turns out, those waitresses earned significantly larger tips than the ones who didn't touch their customers.

密西西比大學和羅德學院開展了一項實驗，讓餐廳的一些服務員在找零的時候輕碰顧客的手或者肩膀，從而研究肢體接觸是否會對小費有影響。結果表明，進行身體接觸的服務員得到的小費遠高於其它員工。

6. Display a sense of humor

展現你的幽默感

Research from Illinois State University and California State University at Los Angeles found that, regardless of whether people were thinking about their ideal friend or romantic partner, a sense of humor was really important.

伊利諾伊州立大學和加利福尼亞州立大學的研究員發現，人們心中的理想朋友或伴侶都普遍具有一個重要特質，那就是幽默。

A study from researchers at DePaul University and Illinois State University found that using humor when you're first getting to know someone can make the person like you more.

一個由德保爾大學和伊利諾伊州立大學開展的研究發現，在第一次見面時展現出幽默感的人會給對方留下很好的印象。

In fact, the study suggested that participating in a humorous task (like having someone wear a blindfold while the other person teaches them a dance) can increase romantic attraction.

事實上，這一研究發現一些有趣的活動（譬如矇住眼睛，在對方的指導下跳舞）往往可以使異性之間相互吸引。

7. See the other person how they want to be seen

以對方期待的方式來看待他們

People want to be perceived in a way that aligns with their own beliefs about themselves. This phenomenon is described by self-verification theory. We all seek confirmations of our views, positive or negative.

每個人都希望他人對自己的看法和自己對自己的看法是一致的。這一現象被稱爲“自我驗證理論”。無論評價是積極還是消極，我們每時每刻都在尋求外界對自己想法的認同。

For a series of studies at Stanford University and the University of Arizona, participants with positive and negative perceptions of themselves were asked whether they wanted to interact with people who had positive or negative impressions of them.

斯坦福大學和亞利桑那大學開展了的一系列的相關研究，將參與者分爲自我評價較高和較低的兩部分，並詢問這兩組人更喜歡與讚美他們的人交往還是批評他們的人交往。

The participants with positive self-views preferred people who thought highly of them, while those with negative self-views preferred critics. This could be because people like to interact with those who provide feedback consistent with their known identity.

自我評價較高的人喜歡讚美他們的人，然而對自己有負面評價的人更喜歡批評他們的人。這是因爲每個人都喜歡與和自己想法一致的人相處。

8. Tell them a secret

分享祕密

Self-disclosure may be one of the best relationship-building techniques.

自我坦白或許是建立友誼最好的方式。

You can try this technique on your own as you're getting to know someone. For example, you can build up from asking easy questions (like the last movie they saw) to learning about the people who mean the most to them in life.

你可以在和對方初次見面的時候試試這個技巧。你可以先問一些簡單的問題（比如他們上次看的電影）來了解哪些事物在對方生活中佔據着重要的位置。

When you share intimate information with another person, they are more likely to feel closer to you and want to confide in you in the future.

當你與他人分享私人信息時，他們會感覺與你更加親近，並會更加信賴你。

9. Show that you can keep their secrets, too

保守祕密

Two experiments led by researchers at the University of Florida, Arizona State University, and Singapore Management University found that people place a high value on both trustworthiness in their relationships.

佛羅里達大學、亞利桑那大學和新加坡管理大學的幾位研究者發現，人們很重視人際關係中的信譽。

This trait proved especially important when people were imagining their ideal friend and ideal employee.

信譽也是人們理想中朋友和員工的一大重要特質。

10. Let them talk about themselves

讓他們盡情地談論自己

Harvard researchers recently discovered that talking about yourself may be inherently rewarding, the same way that food, money, and sex are.

來自哈佛的研究員最近發現談論自己本身就是一件對自我有益的事情，就像食物、金錢和性一樣。

In other words, letting someone share a story or two about their life instead of blabbing about yours could give them more positive memories of your interaction.

也就是說，我們應該讓對方多分享自己的故事，而不是滔滔不絕地講自己的事情。前者更能給對方留下好印象。