我和我的男友很配,但我就是不喜歡他
I have been dating my boyfriend for three Months. He is intelligent and thoughtful, sensitive and funny. We are in our 30s and have the same long-term goals - to travel, see where life takes us and not add children to a relationship.
我和男友約會3個月了。他聰明、風趣、有想法、還很會照顧人。我們都已30多歲，有着相同的長期目標--到處旅行，看看生活將會把我們帶去何方，同時不要小孩兒。I wasn't physically attracted to him, but the way he treats me convinced me to give it a go. I'm not convinced there's enough "spark" and find myself inwardly picking apart his appearance and his unwavering devotion to me, which I find soppy and cloying. Some things actively turn me off, for example chewing food loudly with his mouth open and getting food all over his face, or the way he dresses. Then I feel guilty as he would not judge me in the same way.
他的身體對我沒有什麼吸引力，但他對待我的方式說服了我，讓我給了這段感情一次機會，但我認爲我們之間並不來電。我發現自己內心挑剔着他的顏值，同時又依賴他對我堅定不移的感情，很狡猾吧？有些事情會讓我對他失去興趣，比如：嘴巴大張着大聲咀嚼食物、吃了一臉的東西、或是他的穿衣方式。但我又因爲他不以同樣的方式對我評頭品足而感到內疚。
I have dated some very attractive men in the past and valued physical attractiveness probably too highly. Most of these boyfriends were narcissistic and made me feel insecure about my own attractiveness, something I am usually confident about. I am agonising about throwing away a relationship with a man who really adores me.
我談過一些非常有吸引力的對象，也許我太重視體格吸引力了吧。我談過的大多數前任都很自戀，因而讓我對自身的吸引力沒有安全感（而實際上我對自身的魅力還是很自信的）。我正在爲拋棄一位真正喜歡我的男人而感到痛苦。
Should I let him go or stick with it?
我應該和他分手還是堅持談下去？Mariella replies Life can, in some ways, be very short. You've written to me at a point in the year when I tend to feel reckless and impatient - "out with the old" becoming my increasingly frenzied mantra! It's perhaps not the best state of mind to be delivering advice, but happily, in your case, it might be. Normally I'm all about compromise. As I regularly reiterate, few relationships survive the course without epic levels of endurance and tolerance from both parties.
瑪麗拉回複道，生活有時候非常短暫。你在我一年中往往感到魯莽和不耐煩的時節給我寫信--"舊的不去，新的不來"已越來越多地成爲我的口頭禪！也許這時候我給出的建議並不是最佳建議，但高興的是，我或許能爲你提出最好的建議。通常情況下，我都願意妥協。正如我經常重申的那樣，戀愛雙方若沒有史詩般的忍耐和寬容度，這段感情是難以維繫的。Your boyfriend's assets look impressive on paper. A man who's thoughtful, intelligent, sensitive and funny isn't to be sniffed at, but listed thus they sound like a stereotype. Sure, he sounds like a nice guy but, despite the propaganda suggesting otherwise, there are plenty of them about - it's finding one that's tuned to your wavelength that counts.
單從你的描述來看，你男朋友的條件還是很不錯的。有思想、有智慧、懂得照顧人、還風趣的男士並不會被冷眼相待，但聽上去這些品質會讓人產生一種刻板印象。當然，我覺得他是一個好人，但不管其它的宣傳建議，很多時候你還是需要着眼於找到能和你有共同語言的人。
