懂禮貌的你一定得擁抱你不願擁抱的人嗎?大綱

Etiquette doesn't mean accepting unwanted embraces

懂禮貌的你一定得擁抱你不願擁抱的人嗎?

The mother of a friend has taken to lifting me up off the ground every time she talks to me at church. I'm 24. I let her once, because I thought it was going to be a friendly greeting. Unfortunately, that sent her the wrong message.

我朋友的媽媽每次和我在教堂交談時，都會將我抱起。我已經24歲了。有一次，我默許她這麼做了，因爲我覺得這是一種友好的問候。但不幸的是，她因此會錯了意。

The mom, I'll admit, is only being friendly, but she also calls me "little girl" and comments on how I need to eat more. We talk about little else. Frankly, if this is how most of our future conversations are going to be, I would prefer we just cordially smile and walk on.

我承認，這位母親真的是善意的，但她卻叫我“小姑娘”，讓我多吃點。我們很少談其它話題。說實話，如果未來我們的談話都是如此，我寧願我們只是點頭之交，笑完後各走各的。

These comments and actions are frustrating to me because people often feel the need to comment on how short/small I am. Just when I think I'm beginning to not care what others think, she starts in. She is very outgoing and has a strong personality, and it seems she feels like she knows me well enough to speak this way. But to me, it's tiring and annoying.

她的言語和行爲令我感到沮喪，因爲受她的影響，其他人也開始發表看法，說我很矮/很小。就在我以爲自己並不在乎他人看法的時候，她開始了。她非常外向，愛憎分明，就好像她非常瞭解我纔會這麼說。但於我而言，這種行爲很討厭。

My friend no longer attends my church, so I don't feel I can ask her to intervene with her mom for me.

我的朋友不再陪我去教堂，所以我想，不能再請她干預我和她媽媽的相處模式了。

I don't want to offend her or hurt her feelings by explaining that I don't like it when she lifts me up or makes these comments. I also don't want to make a scene at church. I don't know if I should attend another church, hide in the bathroom, fake an injury and refuse to stand up when I see her, or what. I feel that the longer this goes on, the more awkward it will be to confront her. I'm also afraid she will try to convince me that she's just being friendly, so I shouldn't mind these things.

我不想向她解釋，其實我並不喜歡她將我抱起或發表這些看法，我怕會冒犯她或傷害她的感情。我也不想在教堂大吵大鬧。我想，要不要去另一家教堂呢，或看到她的時候去衛生間躲着、假裝受傷，或拒絕站起來。我感覺這事兒拖得越久，面對她就會越尷尬。同時我也擔心，她會嘗試說服我，她那麼做是出於好心，我不應該介意。

In regard to the weight and size comments, should I respond with, "That's genetics," or just ignore her? I feel the need to defend myself and list off every unhealthy food item I've ever eaten. But should I just smile and nod?

當她就我的體重和身高發表看法時，我應不應該回一句“這是基因造成的，”或者直接不理她？我非常想爲自己辯解，並列出我吃過的每一樣不健康食物。亦或者，我應該繼續點頭微笑？

It's becoming unbearable to talk to her, and I'm at a loss of what to do. Is this a battle worth fighting, and if so, what should my strategies be?

我越來越無法忍受和她交流，我不知道該怎麼做。這是場值得奮鬥的‘戰役’嗎，如果是，我應該採取何種策略呢？