雙語閱讀：自戀的人是天生的嗎

摘要：無論極端自戀者願不願意得到幫助，臨牀醫生必須要有很好的技巧，才能發現他內心的傷害，進行療愈，幫他們樹立起健康的自我形象和互動關係模式。能夠被治癒的極度自戀者只有一種----壞掉的那種。

How does someone become a narcissist, or are they born that way?

It depends, children, especially newborns, demand constant attention but that is a process of survival. Eventually, as they mature, they should learn that they are not the only ones on earth with valid needs. That is where patience, consideration, and other valuable social traits are developed.

自戀人格是怎樣形成的呢?還是他們生來如此?

看情況，小孩，特別是初生嬰兒通常都需要持續的注意力，但那是求生本能。當他們逐漸成熟，會逐漸意識到自己不是世上的唯一，這也正是耐心、爲他人考慮和其他重要社會特徵形成的時期。

In my personal opinion, I see two options a person can take. When there are parents who are extreme narcissists, they will tend to be inattentive to the eMotional needs of their child. Those needs might get ignored, ridiculed, shamed, or attacked. In the end the child is hungry for love and attention. Having a love deficit may cause a child to do one of two things:

自戀的人是天生的嗎

我個人認爲，有兩種可能性。當小孩的父母極爲自戀時，他們可能無法意識到子女的情緒需求，這些需求可能被父母所忽略、嘲笑、羞辱、甚至是攻擊。最終，孩子會極度渴望愛和注意力。這種缺乏愛的情況可能導致孩子的如下兩種行爲：

1) Become an actor in order to get the admiration and attention the child needs. The parents are not safe. They disdain showing neediness and pain. The parents live for appearances. The child is emotionally bleeding and trying to survive because of experiencing emotional neglect. As a result, the child cannot find safety in parents and thus starts to hide to survive.

1)爲了得到孩子所該得的讚美和注意力，而成爲一名演員。沒有安全感的父母，蔑視將需求和痛苦表現出來，爲了表象而活着。孩子的情緒因此受到了嚴重的傷害，他們試圖在被忽略之後存活，他們無法在家長那裏得到安全感，所以開始隱藏自己來求得生存。

The child experiments with playing false impersonations. They soon find that they can manipulate their parents and others by acting. With this foundation, they embark on the path of wearing all kinds of disguises and masks in order to get anything they want, especially from persons who have love-hunger and seek to please to get it. They become incredibly selfish, unfeeling, and expert manipulators.

他們通過虛擬的模仿來進行試驗，很快發現他們能夠通過演戲的方式來操縱父母和其他人。因此，他們開始戴上各種各樣的僞裝和麪具，從而獲取自己想要的，特別是從那些需求愛和尋找愛的人身上獲取。他們變得極爲自私、無情和會操縱別人。

2) Another way that extreme narcissists are created is by being brought up super-pampered. Being brought up without negative consequences for being selfish and hurtful creates a social monster. We call them brats, but this is “Brat-Supreme.” These individuals know little of respecting other’s personal boundaries. They believe they are gods… or God. Their Ego knows no bounds in grandiosity.

2)極度自戀的人也可能是由極度嬌生慣養的父母所帶大的。他們的成長過程中，從沒有過由於自私或對別人造成傷害而帶來的負面影響，因而成長爲社交怪物。我們稱呼他們爲“小孩”，但他們實際上是超級小孩，完全不知道要尊重他人的個人界限，認爲自己是上帝，其自我意識無邊無界。

Do you think narcissism is something of a growing 21st century problem?

你認爲在21世紀，自戀是否一個日漸突出的問題?

Yes, as a result of Baby Boomers/Hippie Generation wanting the best for their children, they have created children who feel entitled and who believe they deserve unreserved success without much difficulty.

是的，嬰兒潮和嬉皮一代都希望子女擁有最好的東西，因此他們讓孩子們感到自己有資格、而且相信自己會獲得完全的成功----而且不用經歷太大困難。

Can narcissism be “cured”?

自戀能否被“治癒”?

Maybe. It depends on the skills of the clinician. Most behavioral clinicians have difficulty knowing how to work with one. For an extreme narcissist to be “cured” he must want to heal and be willing to admit he is unhealthy.

可能，這取決於醫生的技巧。大多數行爲臨牀醫生都不曉得如何治療自戀者。極端自戀者想要被治癒，就必須要承認自己的病態，和想要健康的願望。

For most extreme narcissists, that is simply asking too much. For an extreme narcissist to want to change there must be a gigantic and earth-shattering series of events in their lives to break them of their grandiosity, extreme selfishness, entitlement, and self-righteousness.

可是對大多數極端自戀者來說，這個要求太過分了。極端自戀者如果產生變化的願望，那必須要經過一系列巨大的人生變革，破壞他們的自大、極端自私、權利和自以爲是。

Should an extreme narcissist be willing to be helped, the clinician must be skilled enough to find the wounds of his inner soul, help heal them, and replace them with healthy self-images and patterns for relational dynamics. The only kind of extreme narcissist that can be cured is a broken one.

無論極端自戀者願不願意得到幫助，臨牀醫生必須要有很好的技巧，才能發現他內心的傷害，進行療愈，幫他們樹立起健康的自我形象和互動關係模式。能夠被治癒的極度自戀者只有一種----壞掉的那種。

　　自戀用英語怎麼說

自戀這個詞的對應翻譯是“自說自話地”，下面我們來盤點一下以narcissi-爲詞根的單詞。

narcissistic [,na:si'sistik] adj. 自我陶醉的;自戀的;自我崇拜的;孤芳自賞的

narcissist ['na:sisist] n. 自戀者，自我陶醉者

narcissism ['na:si,siz?m] n. 自戀，自我陶醉，孤芳自賞

　　例句：

1. Young Americans are in the lead again in becoming increasingly narcissistic, a recent study has revealed.

根據最近調查顯示，美國的年輕人正在成爲最爲自戀的一羣人。

2. Sister Hibiscus says things as if she is living in a romance novel. Many call her anarcissist, but she prefers the term "self- confidence."

從芙蓉姐姐說的事情看，她彷佛生活在浪漫小說裏，許多人都稱她爲自我陶醉者，但她給自己定義爲“自信”。

3. Freud first mentioned this concept in his paper "On Narcissism".

弗洛伊德在他的論文《論自戀》中首次提到了這個概念。

最後，我們再區分一下“自戀”與“自大”這兩個涵義容易混淆的詞，“自戀”更傾向於“欣賞自己，陶醉於自我”的意思，而“自大”更強調“自身權威對他人的壓制，目中無人”，對應的英語詞彙有arrogant, stuck-up, self-important, conceited等。