British Council 播客——Exams 考試

Exams

考試

By Jo Bertrand

喬伯特蘭

Do you remember that nasty feeling of sweaty palms? A wave of nausea coming over you? The sudden inability to talk your mouth is so dry? No, it’s not the first meeting with the dreaded in-laws, although some parallels could easily be made. I’m talking about waiting at the door of an exam room, convinced that you know nothing and that there’s no way you will get through this experience alive.

你還記得掌心滿是汗水的恐怖的焦慮感嗎？你還記得當時那一陣陣的反胃嗎？你還記得突然間口乾舌燥說不出話的感覺嗎？我說的可不是第一次見可怕的親家，雖然有一定的相似之度。我說的是，當你在考試門外等待進入考場的那一刻，你覺得自己對考試內容一無所知，覺得自己一定不可能活着通過這次考試的感覺。

We’ve all been there at some point of our lives, whether it be for the 11+, the G.C.S.E French oral exam, university finals, the FCE exam… the list is endless. Somehow though we get through it. We survive to see another day. But what has always baffled me is how people react so differently when faced with the prospect of taking an exam.
我們在一生中的很多時刻都有過這種感覺：中學入學考試、中學的語法口語考試、大學期末考以及第一英語證書考試……舉不勝舉。好在我們都扛過來了。我們通過了並看到了新的天地。然而，讓我迷惑的是，人們在面對考試時的反應是如此的不同。

I don’t know about you but I’ve always been insanely jealous of those people who party all year round, then the night before the exam flick through my course book, (theirs is empty because they didn’t go to any lectures), and then somehow manage to sail through the exam with flying colours. In the meantime I’m there, present and correct at most of my lectures, panicking for weeks before my finals, and the night before, not only am I trying to cram like mad everything my clever friend points out is missing from my file as he flicks through my text books and observes that I’ve missed out a whole chapter of essential work that is bound to come up in the exam, (draw for breath!), but I’m also panicking about packing my school bag.
我不知道你會不會像我一樣，對於那些總是一年到頭都參加派對，然後只是在考試前夜隨手翻閱下我的教科書（他們的課本是空空的因爲他們從不去聽任何的課程），但是最後卻順利的通過考試的人，簡直羨慕的要死。其間，我卻忙於複習和修正課程，心驚肉跳的度過考試前幾周。在考試前夜，當我一個聰明的朋友翻閱我的課本時，發現漏了一整章必考內容時，我不僅瘋狂的試着把一切記下來，（深呼吸！），但在我在收拾書包時，內心卻依然感到一陣陣恐慌。

Once you’re in the exam room there is the obligatory ritual of snacks and refreshments to be organised. It’s essential that you line them up in edible order so as not to have to think too much whilst writing. The idea is also not to make too much noise during the exam. There’s nothing worse than popcorn rustling in a cinema. The exam room is no exception. So it’s vitally important that the aforementioned sweets are opened and ready to go. Your packet of Polos should be completely opened. These should be sucked and not crunched at the time of consumption otherwise it defeats the whole object of trying to avoid noise pollution. Finally, no cans or cartons should be taken into the exams as both are far too noisy.
一旦你進入考場，安排好小吃和茶點是必不可少的規矩。很有必要把他們按照飲食的先後順序排好隊，省得在考試時還在想着先吃哪個。這也是爲避免在考試時製造出不必要的噪音考慮的。再沒有什麼比電影院裏吃爆米花的聲音更難聽的了。試場也不例外，所以一定要把上述的那些糖果包裝袋提前打開，隨時可取用，這一點至關重要。要把棒棒糖的包裝袋完全打開，吃的時候只能吮，不能嚼。否則你試圖避免噪音污染的目的可就徹底落空了。最後，不能把罐頭和紙盒帶進考場，因爲這兩樣噪音都太大。

Next up is the bulging pencil case. You should of course have at least 2 pencils and 6 pens. 2 black, 2 blue, 2 red. If you want to go for the novelty points then choose a purple, or green scented pen. Any attempt to make the examiner smile can’t be wrong, can it? Don’t forget your highlighter pens, one of each colour, tipex, blu tack, glue. You never know what might happen. You need a personal clock, although the space on the table is becoming relatively limited at this point, so a watch is an acceptable option.
下面要說的便是裝文具盒。你至少要裝兩支鉛筆和六支簽字筆。兩支黑色，兩支藍色，兩支紅色。如果你想標新立異，那就選紫色或者綠色香味筆。任何能夠讓考官高興的事是不會錯的，對吧？不要忘了你的記號筆，每種顏色一支，tipex牌的，粗頭的，還有膠水。你絕對不會知道會發生什麼事情。你還需帶一個鬧鐘，雖然在這種情況下桌面空間可能會不夠用，但手錶還是個很好的選擇的。

As you turn your paper over, your mind inevitably goes blank for at least the first ten minutes and you start thinking back to the days when you had a life, in the pre-revision era. Suddenly though, fear takes over. You jab your forehead incessantly with a pen in the hope that this will encourage some sort of intelligent thought to flow from your brain to the paper via your biro. And miracles of miracles, it does. For the next three hours you write constantly, not even pausing for breath, let alone pausing to pick up a polo. In any case their destiny is to get sticky at the bottom of your bag because you stupidly opened the whole packet. But none of that matters anymore because you’re on fire. Nothing can stop you now. And three hours later you’re mentally exhausted and your arm wants to drop off. But you’ve got through it, or at least you think you have…
當你翻開試卷是，不可避免的，你會發覺大腦在前10分鐘一片空白，然後你開始回想自己複習備考的那段時光。儘管如此，恐懼還是突然佔據了你身心。你不停地用筆戳着前額，彷彿這樣就能從大腦中汲取一些靈感，讓它順着圓珠筆流淌到卷面上似的。這一招還真管用，奇蹟中的奇蹟真的出現了。接下來的三個小時你毫不停歇地寫着，只是偶爾拿起一支棒棒糖。因爲你愚蠢地打開了一整包棒糖，所以每一次它們都會粘在你的書包底上。但也管不了那麼多了，已經到了火燒眉毛的時刻了，現在沒有什麼可以阻止得了你。過了三個小時，你已精疲力盡，胳膊就象要斷了一樣。可是你成功地闖過來了，至少你自認爲你闖過來了。

The post-exam ritual involves everyone saying; ‘Ok lets talk about anything other than the exam because that was absolutely awful.’, and then you all proceed to talk about nothing else but the exam for the next hour. Where you thought you’d done well, now after having listened to what everyone else put, well there’s just no way you could have passed. I wouldn’t even pass myself if I were marking it; the answers I put were so irrelevant. Quality not quantity is what we’ve always been told and I forgot that golden rule. I have an aching arm for nothing.
考試後司空見慣的場景是：每個人都在說“我們談點與考試無關的事情吧，考試簡直那太噁心了”。然而接下來的一小時，所有人都在談論考試，別的卻什麼都不談。一開始你還覺得自己考得還不錯，但聽完大家話後，就覺得自己根本不可能過關。我填的答案連我自己這一關都過不了，它們太不着邊際了。重質不重量是我們耳熟能詳的金科玉律，我把這一條給忘了。寫得我胳膊發痛卻一無所獲。

Now comes the wait. Why can’t examining boards devise a wonderful marking system that can put you out of your misery within the next couple of days. Two months is an obscene amount of time if you ask me. Eventually the envelope arrives. A hot tip: when asked for your address you should always give your parents’ address to avoid having to rush to the door for a week around the results day and then actually having to open the dreaded envelope once it eventually arrives two days late, a sadistic delay intended so that you sweat it out some more. In any case your mum is scared enough as it is and is only too happy to pass on the good news when it arrives on her doorstep. Lo and behold the day when I fail an exam! I’m touching lots of wood as I write this.
現在到等待考試結果的時候了。爲什麼考試委員不能發明一套好點的記分系統，讓能夠你在考後幾天內就可以解脫煩惱。在我看來，兩個月的時間簡直長得要命。最後終於來信了。熱心提示：在填地址時一定要填你父母的地址，這樣省得你在快要發表成績的那個星期天天到門口查信，不過最後還是耽擱了兩天，纔看到這封可怕的信。要知道這多耽擱的兩天簡直是受虐，能讓你驚出一身身冷汗。你媽媽也一直擔驚受怕，只有當捷報送到門口時，她纔會轉憂爲喜。回頭想想我考試不及格的那些日子吧！我在寫這文章之前也是磕磕絆絆地過來的。

Anyway, the upshot of all the stress and anxiety is that the hard work has paid off and even though you don’t quite get the A++ that your jammy friend got, you’re ecstatic with your well-earned B+.
不管怎樣，壓力和焦慮都過去了，這是你下苦功的回報。儘管你沒有象你的鐵哥們那樣得到A++ ，只得了個來之不易的B+，這也足夠讓你欣喜若狂了。

Though one thing I haven’t quite worked out yet is what the attraction of exams is. There must be something addictive about the stress related to them. I spent last summer doing a teaching course followed by a horribly stress-inducing exam in December. Nobody forced me to do it. I actually volunteered and handed over a scary amount of money for the privilege. That’s stressful in itself! Neither have I learnt from my school exam days as I still went through the same old emotions, and the same old rituals and I’m very pleased to say it worked. Although I’m still convinced that it’s not so much what I wrote in my exam that did it but how I wrote it. The infallible mint-scented biro strikes again!
雖然，至今，我還不太清楚考試究竟有什麼吸引力，但考試所帶來的那種壓力，一定有種令人上癮的成分。去年夏天，我報了一個訓練課程，接下來在十二月時參加了一次緊張至極的考試。誰也沒強迫我做這一切，這是我自願的，交了數目驚人的一筆錢來換取這種特殊享受。很緊張很刺激的一個過程！我在學校的考場上都沒有體驗過。昔日的感受又一次涌上心頭，昔日的慣例又一上重演，讓我高興的是，這一套仍然管用。我仍然相信：能夠通過，不是因爲我寫的答案正確，而是因爲是我寫答案的方式正確。那支永無謬誤的薄荷香味圓珠筆又一次“顯靈”了！