每天英語幽默笑話

每日一笑話，每天樂哈哈。下面是本站小編整理的每天英語幽默笑話，歡迎大家閱讀。

　　英語幽默笑話一：

A man walks into a confession booth and says,"I have sinned."

"What did you do?"asks the priest.

"I committed a murder."

The priest says,"take a drink out of the holy cup and you will be forgiven."

有一個男人走進告解室說：“我犯罪了”。　神父 問 ：“你做了什麼?”　“我犯了謀殺罪”神父說：“你喝一口聖盃的聖水，你就得饒恕。”

A man walks into the confession booth and says ,"I have sinned."

The priest asks him ,"what did you do?"

"I robbed six banks."

The priest says, "take a drink out of the holy cup and you will be forgiven."

有一個男人走進告解室說：“我犯罪了”。神父問他： “你做了什麼?”“我搶了六家銀行”神父說：“你喝一口聖盃的聖水，你就得饒恕。”

Another man walks into the confession booth and says ," I have sinned ."

" What did you do?" asks the priest,

"I broke the holy cup."

另一個男人走進告解室說：“我犯罪了”。　神父問：“你做了什麼?”“我把聖盃打破了”。

　　英語幽默笑話二：《律師、寶馬和胳膊》

一個律師打開他的寶馬車門，突然一輛汽車駛過來把門撞飛了，警察趕到現場，律師正痛苦地抱怨毀壞了他心愛的寶馬。

“警察同志，看看他們把我的車弄的!!!”律師哀怨地說。

“你們律師真是物質至上，我很不舒服!”警察反駁說，“你這麼關心你可惡的寶馬，你可能沒有注意到你的左胳膊也沒了。”

律師終於注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀，“天哪，我的勞力士手錶在哪兒?”

A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.

"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"

　　英語幽默笑話三：《狗住旅店》

一個人給一家他計劃在假期裏停留的小旅館寫了封信，“我非常希望帶着我的狗，它很乾淨很有教養，你能允許它和我睡一間屋子嗎?”

旅館主人立即回了封信，“我經營旅館很多年了，狗從沒偷過毛巾，牀單， 餐具，或者牆上的畫。我也從沒有在半夜因爲狗喝醉胡鬧而趕走它，狗也從不不付帳就跑掉。實際上我們非常歡迎您的狗來我們旅館，如果它爲您擔保，也歡迎您來。

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."