雅思寫作：人口老齡化
優秀的雅思大作文寫作範文能幫助考生積累大作文的寫作素材，理清思路增加作文的邏輯性。特別是遇到一些我們不太熟悉的話題，還可以增加我們的背景知識，我們今天來看社會生活類的雅思大作文話題：人口老齡化。
雅思大作文寫作範文——人口老齡化的影響
題目
It is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people than young people in many countries in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
預計在未來許多國家中老年人的比例將高於年輕人。你認爲這是積極的還是消極的發展?
雅思大作文範文
Population ageing has emerged as a global phenomenon in the wake of the now virtually universal decline in fertility and increases in life expectancy. Many countries are confronted with new demographic realities that spread from the cities to the villages. In my opinion, more problems than benefits will surface with this trend. Admittedly, older people often have time to offer for the benefit of family and the community. Nowadays, the young tend to rely on the older generation for household chores. It is also reported that time devoted to voluntary work and care is at its height within the age groups over 55. Such devotion adds greatly to the community well-being, if not to the GDP.
在生育率幾乎普遍下降和預期壽命增加之後，人口老齡化已成爲一種全球現象。許多國家面臨着從城市蔓延到農村的新的人口現實。在我看來，這種趨勢會帶來更多的問題而不是好處。無可否認，老年人經常有時間爲家庭和社會做出貢獻。如今，年輕人傾向於依靠老一輩來做家務。據報道，在55歲以上的年齡組中，從事志願工作和護理的時間最多。這樣的奉獻，即使不會增加GDP，也會大大增加社區的福祉。
Population ageing, however, brings about serious economic and social problems. When the number of workers decreases, the national income goes down. At the same time, as a person's use of health services increases significantly in the later years of their life, an ageing population causes a relative rise in the public resources required for pensions, health and residential care outlays. Moreover, with an ageing population, the problems associated with the "sandwich generation", people who have both children and parents to look after, have gained increasing prominence. Members of this "in-between" generation are often torn between the needs of raising children, caring for ageing parents and job responsibilities. To sum up, population ageing is an inevitable prospect, the negative effects of which outweigh the positive. As ageing is a normal part of lifecycle for human beings, we must recognize its challenges to our life and society, and work on effective strategies to minimize its adverse influences.
然而，人口老齡化帶來了嚴重的經濟和社會問題。當工人人數減少時，國民收入就會下降。與此同時，隨着一個人在晚年對醫療服務的使用顯著增加，人口老齡化導致養老金、醫療和住宅護理支出所需的公共資源相對增加。此外，隨着人口老齡化，與“三明治一代”(既要照顧孩子又要照顧父母)相關的問題日益突出。這“中間”一代的成員經常在撫養孩子、照顧年邁的父母和工作責任之間左右爲難。綜上所述，人口老齡化是一個不可避免的前景，其負面影響大於正面影響。由於老齡化是人類生命週期的一個正常部分，我們必須認識到它對我們的生活和社會的挑戰，並努力制定有效的戰略，以減少其負面影響。
雅思寫作範文及解析：人口老齡化利與弊
利弊分析類大作文社會話題
In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this have more positive or negative effects on society?
(題目來源：2011年10月8日雅思大作文)
題目大意
人口老齡化的利弊
思路
人口老齡化的積極影響：1. 幫助周邊社區;2. 減輕家庭成員的負擔
人口老齡化的負面影響：1. 降低參與率;2. 提升依賴率;3. 擴大財政差額
審題，找出關鍵詞
Older people
Effect on society
高分範文
It is true that the number of ageing individuals in many countries is higher than the group of young. While I accept that this circumstance can sometimes be beneficial to society, I believe that it is more likely to be outweighed by the negative effects.
On the one hand, the growing population of older people may have some advantages to our society. To begin with, the ageing population makes positive contributions to the community through their services. Naturally, the average life expectancy has increased nowadays, which means that people are more physically and mentally heathier than preceding generations. Given appropriate incentive, these people are willing to work and contribute to the tax revenue. For example, many health and welfare agencies are seeking to hire from the growing number of retirees. Another advantage is that this situation could mitigate the stress of family members. Young people are faced with the heavy workload as they want a better quality of life for their families, and the cost of living has increased so dramatically. In this respect, the expanding of older generation could provide childcare, financial and emotional assistance to their families.
On the other hand, I believe that the above positive effects are exceeded by following disadvantages. Firstly, having more elders decreases the participation rate to the society, which means that the workforce is expected to decrease. This shortage of workers could lead to the wage being pushed up causing wage inflation. Secondly, this situation also triggers the increase of dependency rate as there are more people claiming benefits such as pension and less people working and paying income taxes. In this respect, we might have a situation where working force needs to pay higher income taxes in order to support the increased older population. Finally, it will also have the negative impact on economy for the country because of the imbalance in revenue and expenditure to the government resulting in the increase of fiscal gap. In other words, it requires government to increase spending on health care and pension, whilst older people pay lower income taxes as they are not working. Consequently, it may lead the country further in debt.
In conclusion, it seems to me that the demerits of having higher percentage in older generation are more significant than its merits. (382 words)
相關詞彙
life expectancy
incentive
tax revenue
participation rate
dependency rate
wage inflation
fiscal gap
pension
雅思作文點評：老齡化快速增長的優缺點
In many countries, the number of elderly people is increasing fast. To what extent do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?
Nowadays, owning to the improvement of living condition(這裏習慣用複數), people can live much longer than before, which gives rise to the fast increasing number of elderly people. Some hold that this situation will result in a series of problems, such as social burden, population expansion and so on. While others insist that it agrees the development of modern society and brings many advantages. For my part, I take the latter side with(用for) the following reasons: (74words)
點評：開頭稍微寫的有點長，不過內容寫的還不錯。屬於通過分析兩種不同觀點，最後闡述自己觀點的寫法。(此種寫法在雅思大作文的第一段比較常見)
美中不足的是倒數第二句的錯誤比較明顯!while是個連詞，應該連接句子與句子，所以這裏前面不應該是句號。後面agree是不及物動詞，不能直接加賓語。
Firstly, elder people(一會兒elderly people,一會兒又elder people，這不是自相矛盾麼!!!) are the fortune of our society. They have enough experiences and capabilities which are badly lacked and needed for our youth when dealing with all sorts of problems, they can still do well in their jobs. Especially(前面應該用逗號，然後這裏小寫) in some professions, such as teacher, doctor, scientist and so on, sometimes (前面應該用句號，然後這裏大寫)age means the authority and ability. When you see a doctor, do you prefer an elderly doctor with grey hair or a youth without mustache? (77words)
Secondly, elder people(同上) are the happiness of our society. Increasing number of elderly people is also the embodiment of our improving living quality, which shows our society run(應該第三人稱單數)to the right and healthy direction, we(前面句號，這裏大寫) have more chance and time to serve our elderly people, and it’s the happiest time of all our life to accompany with(accompany是及物動詞) our parents, grandparents and great grandparents. (63words)
Finally, elderly people are the lubricant of our society. They have good temper and enough patients(應該是patience吧) to do anything, they can help us to intercede(它是不及物動詞，而且主要用人作賓語) social disputes, and they make our society much more harmonious which(前面最好有個逗號)makes for the construction of harmonious society.(43words)
正文段綜合點評：此篇是典型的5段式作文的寫作，正文段構思出三個分論點來證明自己的觀點，的確在構思上花了不少心思。但是，這裏我想提的是，還是兩方面都分析一下會比較好一點。特別這篇文章是問優點多還是缺點多，那麼最好是缺點講一個，然後優點再講兩個。外國人喜歡這樣的辯證分析。
其次，總的來說，作者的語言還是挺流暢的。但是似乎標點有問題，該用句號的時候用逗號，改用逗號的時候用句號，這個也要扣分的!
From mentioned above, the advantages of increasing number of elderly people are obvious more than it disadvantages(典型的Chinese English.應該說there are obviously more advantages than disadvantages.). Elderly people are not the burden of our society but the source of fortune, happiness and harmony of our society.(37words)
全文總評：
儘管總的來說語言水平還是很不錯的，內容也寫得很充實，但缺點是語言方面還是不夠細膩。此文7分。
雅思寫作步驟指導
雅思寫作部分有2篇作文，要求考生在一小時內完成至少400字的寫作任務。由於時間比較短，不少考生因未能合理安排時間，結果沒有有效完成任務要求或是未能充分展現自己的英語寫作水平。
寫作部分兩篇文章的字數要求是不一樣的。大作文必須完成250字以上寫作任務，而小作文150字以上。根據這一指令，從機械地寫字速度來看，考生較爲合理的時間分配爲大作文40分鐘，小作文20分鐘。另外，大作文佔寫作總值的60%，小作文爲40%，從這分值的權重來看，時間上2：1的分配也是相當合理的。
所以，要想成功完成大作文任務一定要把時間控制在40分鐘左右，前後不超出5分鐘。
那麼如何充分利用這40分鐘， 完成一篇基本令人滿意的文章呢?
◆步驟一：審題(<3 分鐘)
審題是有效完成任務的第一步，也是最關鍵的一步。從評分標準看，審題的正確與否與"Task Response"有着直接的聯繫。而在當前模板氾濫，文章千篇一律的大環境下，有效審題是突破六分的一條準繩。不少考生在審題時，要麼蜻蜓點水、草草一讀，要麼只關注題目中詞的同義轉換。如此讀題，都有可能對之後的文章撰寫方向造成偏差。而有效的讀題方法應爲：
→通讀題目，瞭解大意。
→細讀題目，分析句子間的邏輯關係。
→再讀題目，辨別關鍵詞，區分主題詞和限定詞，推測考官的出題意圖。
由於大部分考生只作到了讀題的第一步，所以出現離題或部分離題的可能性很大。現以2008年11月15日的考題爲例：
There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because the computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?(題目爲考生回憶，與原題可能有少許出入)
→通讀題目，瞭解大意。
當前有越來越多的工人在家裏工作，有越來越多的學生在家裏學習。這是因爲電腦技術越來越容易獲得，也越來越便宜了。你認爲這是個正面的還是負面的發展趨勢?
備註：題中的accessible有不少考生不理解，對審題的準確性會造成一定影響。
→細讀題目，分析句子間的邏輯關係。
要把握題目中的句子間邏輯關係，關鍵是能讀懂代詞"this"; "it"的具體指代。
"this"是指第一句話。
"it"可理解爲前兩句所呈現的這一現象。爲了使文章寫作方向更爲明確，這裏可把it 概括爲：the wider usage of computer technology in working or studying from home
→再讀題目，辨別關鍵詞，區分主題詞和限定詞，推測考官的出題意圖。
主題詞：Computer technology in working or studying from home
限定詞：positive or negative
不容忽視的詞：easily accessible and cheaper
題目信息解構：
(topic) positive(benefits)
Computer technology in working or studying from home
(causes) Negative (drawbacks)
Easily accessible and cheaper
對題目做出如上分析，確保撰寫的文章能包含以上的信息，審題這關絕對能過。
以上用時不超過3分鐘。
◆步驟二：列大綱(<3分鐘)
根據以上的題目解構信息，尋找關鍵詞的下義詞和衍生詞，根據已有素材確定寫作框架。
如：
Computer technology：on-line, PC, laptop, broadband
Working from home: Fashion designer; freelancer; translator; journalist; writer; music composer, artistsStudying from home: on-line course, the disable who are difficult to move; course in the foreign country
Cheaper: on-line IELTS course --several hundred RMB
Class IELTS course -- several thousand RMB
Easily accessible : in city-- at least one PC every house
Broadband: almost every house; school
Net bar: almost every neighbourhood
Outline:
☆Introduction:
Computer technology in home-study and home- work (topic)
Positive development (opinion)
☆Body:
★Benefits of studying from home:
Cheaper--- IELTS course (on-line /class)
Freer--- white collar for further education in free time
★Benefits of working from home:
Artists(music composer/fashion designer)---- more productive
Freelancer( translator/journalists)---- more working opportunity
★Drawbacks:
Lack self-control /independence( line-addicts)
☆Conclusion: inevitable trend( with self-discipline)
備註：在實戰考試中無需把大綱寫得如此詳細，但胸有成竹一定會使之後文章的寫作如魚得水。
◆步驟三：文章撰寫(30-35分鐘)
一般文章爲4-5段，平均每段用時5-10分鐘
備註：大作文寫作一定要寫結論段，以體現文章的完整性。
◆步驟四：檢查(1-2分鐘)
此時，不宜做大的修改，把筆誤的部分改掉即可。
在本篇論文中，筆者花了較多的篇幅來論述審題和列大綱，旨在引起讀者對這兩部分的足夠重視。
