關於英語笑話短文大全

英語笑話是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透過笑話我們可以看到一個民族的生存環境、生活方式、社會關係和心理特徵等等。小編精心收集了關於英語笑話短文，供大家欣賞學習!

　　關於英語笑話短文：My hAlf was at the bottom of the bottle

Jimmy and Tommy went off on their bikes for a picnic in the woods.

They had one bottle of lemonade between then. Jimmy went to explore while Tommy unpacked the food. When he returned, he found the bottle was empty.

"Hey!" he exclaimed crossly. "Half of that was mine!"

"I know," said Tommy, "but I was thirsty, and as my half was at the bottom of the bottle I had to drink through yours to get to it."

吉米和湯米騎自行車去森林裏野餐。他們帶了一瓶檸檬水。在湯米準備食物的當兒，吉米去探險。當他回來後，發現瓶子空了。

“嗨!”他生氣得嚷，“這水有一半是我的!”

“我知道，”湯米說，“但是我非常渴，而且我的那一半在下面，所以我只好先把你的那半喝了才能喝到我的那一半呀。”

　　關於英語笑話短文：Who helps who 誰幫誰

Jimmy: Hey, Amy, aren't you coming out to play?

Amy: No, I have to stay in and help my father with my homework.

基米：嘿，艾米，你不出來玩嗎?

艾米：不了，我必須留在家裏，幫我爸爸做我的家庭作業。

　　關於英語笑話短文：Why aren't you listening

爲什麼不認真聽課

Teacher: Jack, why aren't you listening?

Jack: But, teacher, I'm listening.

Teacher: If you were listening, tell me what I said just now.

Jack: You said, "Jack, why aren't you listening?"

老師：傑克，你爲什麼不認真聽課?

傑克：老師，我正在聽課呀!

老師：如果你剛纔在聽課，那告訴我剛纔我說的什麼。

傑克：您說的是：“傑克，你爲什麼不認真聽課?”

　　關於英語笑話短文：It's Always Me 總是我

A father said to his sons: "Tomorrow your mother is going to bake a pie. Who is going to eat it?"

The oldest son replied: "Father, I'll eat it all!"

The father then said: "Tomorrow I'm going to butcher a pig. Who is going to eat it?"

The same son answered: "Father, I'll eat it all!"

The father added: "Tomorrow, we are going to plough the field. Who is going to plough?"

The oldest son answered again: "It's always me, always me. Now it's someone else's turn to volunteer!"

一位父親對他的兒子們說：“你們的媽媽明天要烙一張餡餅，誰要吃呢?”

大兒子說：“爸爸，我要把它都吃了。”

父親接着說：“明天我要殺一口豬，誰要吃呢?”

又是大兒子說：“爸爸，我要把它都吃了。”

父親又說：“明天我們要耕地，誰想耕地呢?”

大兒子再次回答道：“總是我，總是我，這次還是讓其他人來吧。”

　　關於英語笑話短文：Smart Kid

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."

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