簡單的幽默英語笑話短文閱讀

笑話起着積極維穩的作用，笑話給老百姓提供了一個簡單且可容忍的，讓他們吐槽和發泄不滿的方式。小編精心收集了簡單的幽默英語笑話短文，供大家欣賞學習!

　　簡單的幽默英語笑話短文：三隻烏龜

Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.

The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."

The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."

"We won't," the other two promised.

Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."

Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."

三隻烏龜決定去喝咖啡。它們剛到咖啡店的門口，就下起雨來。於是最大的那隻烏龜對最小的烏龜說，“回家去取傘吧。”

最小的烏龜說，“如果你們不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”

“我們不喝，”另外兩隻烏龜答應說。

兩年後，大烏龜對中烏龜說，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回來了，我們可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”

正在這時，一個聲音從門外傳來，“你們要是喝了，我就不去。”

　　簡單的幽默英語笑話短文：罕見

4-year-old Begin and his cousin scrambled (攀爬，爭搶) for toys. His mum told him: “ You are older brother because you’re older than your (cousin) sister. You should give ground to her. ” Begin thought a little but maintained(堅持) : “ My sister must give ground to me when she grows older than I.” His uncle around overheard and said : “Such a thing hardly occurs.”

四歲的貝京和小妹妹爭玩具。媽媽對他說：“你大，你是哥哥，要讓着小妹妹點兒。” 貝京想了想，堅持說：“等妹妹長得比我大了，她也得讓着我。”姨夫在一旁聽了說：“這種情況相當罕見。

　　簡單的幽默英語笑話短文：Boss and I

My Boss and I When I take a long time, I am slow. When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough. When I don't do it, I am lazy. When my boss doesn't do it, he is too busy. When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart. When my boss does the same, that is initiative. When I please my boss, I am ass-kissing. When my boss pleases his boss, he is co-operating. I do good, my boss never remembers. When I do wrong, he never forgets.

我做事情花了長時間，是效率低; 老闆做事情花了長時間，是深思熟慮。 我沒有做完事情，是懶惰; 老闆沒有做完事情，是太繁忙。 沒有人告訴我的事情我做了，是自作聰明; 老闆做了同樣的事情，是首創。 我取悅老闆，是獻媚; 老闆取悅他的老闆，是合作。 我幹得好，老闆從來不會想起; 我幹得不好，老闆從來不會忘記。

　　簡單的幽默英語笑話短文：招客有方

At the cleaner's, I noticed the sign "In by 10 a. m. , out by 5 p. m. " so I told the owner that I wanted to pick my clothing up at five. "it won't be ready," he said.

"But your sign says, 'In by 10 a. m. , out by 5 p. m.'," I reminded him.

"Oh," he replied, "that means me.

在洗衣店，我看到招牌上寫着：“上午10點進，下午5點出。”因此我就告訴店主我想在下午5點取衣。“下午5點還不能取，”他說。 “但是你的牌子上寫着：‘上午10點進，下午5點出’，”我提醒他說。

“哦，”他回答說，“那指的是我。”

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