關於英文爆笑笑話大全
冷笑話作爲一種新興的語言現象，越來越受到大家的關注，尤其在網絡、雜誌、微博、電影上十分盛行。本站小編整理了關於英文爆笑笑話，歡迎閱讀!
In secondary school, I was always self-conscious about my height.
Once I was asked out by a life-guard. I had never really stood next to him and didn't know how tall he was, so the night of the date I took out two pairs of shoes-one with heels, one flat. I arranged with my brother to answer the door, compare his height with my date's and run upstairs to let me know which shoes to wear.
When doorbell rang I waited. Then my brother showed up and told me what I didn't want to hear: Go barefoot.
中學的時候，我對自己的高度非常敏感。
一次，一位救生員約我出去。事實上，我從未和他並肩站過，因而不知道他到底有多高。因此約會那晚，我拿出兩雙鞋，一雙高跟，一雙平跟。我安排哥哥去開門，讓他和救生員比比高度，再上樓告訴我應穿哪雙鞋。
門鈴響了，我在樓上等着。哥哥跑上樓告訴了我一個不幸的消息：你可以光着腳去約會。
關於英文爆笑笑話：Impudent Questions 無禮的問題A little girl from the East Side was invited to a garden party given by a very aristocratic(貴族的) lady to a group of little East-Siders.
The little girl, as she drank her tea and ate her plum-cake on a velvet(天鵝絨的) lawn under a white-blooming cherry tree, said to her hostess:
Does your husband drink?
Why-er-no, not to excess, was the astonished reply.
How much does he make?
He doesn't work, said the lady. He is a capitalist.
You keep out of debt, I hope?
Of course, child. What on earth do you mean by all these impudent(無恥的) questions?
Impudent? said the little girl. Why, Ma'am, Mother told me to be sure and behave like a lady, and when ladies call at our rooms they always question Mother like that.
一個住在城東貧民區的小女孩獲得邀請，參加一位貴婦人爲城東貧民區的孩子們舉行的花園晚會。
在一棵開滿了白色小花兒的櫻桃樹下，小女孩坐在柔軟的草地上，一邊品嚐着她的茶和梅子蛋糕，一邊對貴婦人說：你的丈夫酗酒嗎? 呃，呃，不，他喝得不多。夫人一臉驚詫。
他掙多少錢?
他不工作，夫人回答說，他是個資本家。
我希望你們沒有負債吧?
當然沒有，孩子。你問這麼些無禮的問題到底是想說什麼呢?
無禮?小女孩說，怎麼會呢，夫人?媽媽要我的舉止一定要象夫人們一樣，當她們到我們家做客的時候，她們總是那樣問我媽媽的。
關於英文爆笑笑話：An angry wife's prayer 一個發怒妻子的祈禱A man is so addicted to gambling that he often comes home late. His wife never stops railing at him. Once he is detained at his office and comes home late. His wife accuses him of gambling again but he swears he was detained in his office. "I pray to God that you are speaking the truth", his wife says.
"May God strike me dead if I am lying."
"Then I pray to God that you are lying", his wife said hopefully.
一個男人因嗜賭而經常回家很晚，爲此他妻子從沒停止過罵他。一次他因工作很晚回到家後，他妻子指責他又去賭博了，可他發誓說這次是因爲工作。"我祈禱上帝你說的是實話，"妻子說。
"如果我說謊上帝便賜我於死。"
"那我祈禱上帝你是在說謊。"他妻子充滿希望地說。
關於英文爆笑笑話：Wait for the policeA woman and a man are involved in a car accident.
Both of their cars are totally demolished(破壞) but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."
Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!"
"This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..."
關於英文爆笑笑話：Please Reverse the Charges 倒轉車子There was a lady who took a taxi home, and when the taxi driver approached her house she told him to stop, saying, "Okay, here, here is good."
Then she asked the driver, "How much is it?" And the driver replied, "Ten dollars."
Then, after searching in her purse for a while, she said, "Could you please go back 500 meters? I have only seven dollars on me!"
有一位女士搭計程車回家，當抵達家門口時，她告訴司機：“好，就停在這裏。”
然後她問：“多少錢?”司機回答：“十塊錢。”
她翻了翻皮包之後說：“可不可以請你把車子再倒回去五百公尺，因爲我只有七塊錢!”
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