雙語笑話:兩條比目魚

Simon was an inveterate fisherman, well known for exaggerating the size of "the one that got away". But there came a day when he actually caught two enormous flounders. He immediately invited a few friends over to dine, then tried to figure out how best to serve the fish." If I use both," he told his wife, "it will seem ostentatious."

"Why not serve a piece of each?" she suggested.

"No, if I cut them up, nobody will believe I caught two giant flounders." Simon racked his brain. Then he had an idea.

The guests were seated at the table when their host strode in with a platter, holding the biggest flounder they'd ever seen. Suddenly Simon stumbled and fell. Everyone cried out in dismay as the fish crashed to the floor, but Simon quickly brushed himself off.

"Dear, " he called out to his wife, "bring in the other flounder!"西蒙是個老練的漁夫。人們都熟知他愛吹噓“跑掉的那條”魚的尺寸。但有一天他確實抓了兩條極大的比目魚。他立刻邀請幾個朋友過來吃飯，然後着力搞清楚怎樣將魚端上餐桌。“如果同時端上2條魚,”他對妻子說，“好像有點炫耀之嫌了。”

“何不兩條魚各上一小塊呢？”他妻子建議道。

“不行，如果把兩條魚都切碎了，就不會有人相信我抓了兩條大比目魚了。”西蒙絞盡了腦汁，終於想出了一個好辦法。

客人已在餐桌邊就座完畢，這時主人大步地走進來，手裏端着一個托盤，托盤上是一個他們所見過的最大的比目魚。突然西蒙被什麼東西絆了一下摔倒了。所有的人都驚慌地叫了起來，因爲魚在地板上摔得粉碎。但是西蒙迅速地擺脫了窘境。

“親愛的，”他對妻子喊道，“把另一條魚端上來！”