《美食祈禱和戀愛》Chapter 100 (242):祕密

But that's not All Wayan can do. Also, she told us, she is sometimes called upon to be a teacher of sex for a couple who are either struggling with impotence or frigidity, or who are having trouble making a baby. She has to draw magic pictures on their bedsheets and explain to them which sexual positions are appropriate for which time of the month. She said that if a man wants to make a baby he should make intercourse with his wife "really, really hard" and should shoot "water out from his banana into her vagina really, really fast." Sometimes Wayan has to actually be there in the room with the copulating couple, explaining just how hard and fast this must be done.

I ask, "And is the man able to shoot water out of his banana really hard and really fast with Dr. Wayan standing over him watching?"

Felipe imitates Wayan watching the couple: "Faster! Harder! You want this baby or not?"

Wayan says, yes, she knows it's crazy, but this is the job of the healer. Though she admits it requires a whole lot of purification ceremonies before and after this event in order to keep her sacred spirit intact, and she doesn't like to do it very often because it makes her feel "funny." But if a baby needs to be conceived, she will take care of it.

"And do these couples all have babies now?" I asked.

"Have babies!" she confirmed with pride. Of course they do.

But then Wayan confides something extremely interesting. She said that if a couple is not having any luck conceiving a child, she will examine both the man and the woman to determ-ine who is, as they say, to blame. If it's the woman, no problem—Wayan can fix this with an-cient healing techniques. But if it's the man—well, this presents a delicate situation here in the patriarchy of Bali. Wayan's medical options here are limited because it is beyond the pale of safety to inform a Balinese man that he is sterile; it cannot possibly be true. Men are men, after all. If no pregnancy is occurring, it has to be the woman's fault. And if the woman doesn't provide her husband with a baby soon, she could be in big trouble—beaten, shamed or divorced.

"So what do you do in that situation?" I asked, impressed that a woman who still calls semen "banana water" could diagnose male infertility.

Wayan told us all. What she does in the case of male infertility is to inform the man that his wife is infertile and needs to be seen privately every afternoon for "healing sessions." When the wife comes to the shop alone, Wayan calls some young stud from the village to come over and have sex with her, hopefully creating a baby.

Felipe was appalled: "Wayan! No!"

But she just calmly nodded. Yes. "It's the only way. If the wife is healthy, she will have baby. Then everybody happy."

Felipe immediately wanted to know, since he lives in this town, "Who? Who do you hire to do this job?"

Wayan said, "The drivers."

然而大姐的能力不僅這些。她告訴我們，有時她還必須教導如何對抗不舉或冷感，或者教導生不出小孩的夫妻有關性的事。她必須在他們的牀單上畫魔法圖，對他們說明哪些性姿勢適合月中的哪一天使用。她說男人若想要孩子，就該和老婆"非常、非常使勁地"做愛，就該"從他的香蕉非常、非常快速把水噴入她的陰道"。有時大姐還必須親自和做愛的夫妻待在房間裏，說明該多麼使勁、多麼快速。

我問："有醫師大姐站在身邊，男人有辦法讓香蕉非常使勁、非常快速地噴出水來嗎？"

斐利貝模仿大姐觀看夫妻："快一點！使勁點！你到底想不想要小孩啊？"

大姐說，是的，她知道這很怪，但這是治療師的職責。儘管她承認進行這件事之前與之後必須舉行多次淨化儀式，以便讓她的聖靈完好無損，她並不喜歡太常做，因爲這讓她覺得"怪異"。但倘若關於受孕，她就會處理。

"這些夫妻現在都生了孩子嗎？"我問。

"生孩子了！"她驕傲地確認。當然他們都生了孩子。

但大姐接着告訴我們一件相當有趣的事。她說假使一對夫妻不幸無法受孕，她就會同時檢查夫妻兩人，決定——照他們的說法——過錯在誰。假使問題在女方，沒問題——大姐可採取古療法治療。但倘若問題在於男方——這在巴厘島的父權社會中，可是微妙的情況。大姐在此情況下的醫療選擇有其限制，因爲直接對一個巴厘島男人說他不孕是危險的事——男人怎麼可能不孕的！男人畢竟是男人。倘若無法懷孕，肯定錯在女方。倘使女人不趕緊給丈夫生孩子，麻煩可大了，她可能遭遇捱揍、羞辱、被休的命運。

"在這種情況下，你怎麼處理？"我問道。心中嘖嘖稱奇於一個還把精液稱作"香蕉水"的女子，能夠診斷得出男人不孕。

大姐對我們說明一切。她對男人不孕病例採取的治療法是，跟男人說他的妻子不能生育，而妻子必須每天下午單獨前來參與"療程"。當妻子獨自來店裏時，大姐從村子裏找一名年輕男人過來，跟妻子做愛，希望讓她懷孕。

斐利貝驚恐地說："大姐！不可能吧！"

但她只是平靜地點點頭。是的。"別無選擇。妻子如果健康，就能生下孩子，人人都很高興。"

斐利貝因爲住在鎮上，立刻想要知道："誰？你僱誰做這個工作？"

大姐說："就是那些司機。"