諾貝爾文學經典:《寵兒》第3章Part 10

Move. Walk. Run. Hide. Steal and move on. Only once had it been possible for him to stay in onespot — with a woman, or a family — for longer than a few months. That once was almost twoyears with a weaver lady in Delaware, the meanest place for Negroes he had ever seen outsidePulaski County, Kentucky, and of course the prison camp in Georgia.
From all those Negroes, Beloved was different. Her shining, her new shoes. It bothered him. Maybe it was just the fact that he didn't bother her. Or it could be timing. She had appeared andbeen taken in on the very day Sethe and he had patched up their quarrel, gone out in public and hada right good time — like a family. Denver had come around, so to speak; Sethe was laughing; hehad a promise of steady work, 124 was cleared up from spirits. It had begun to look like a life. Anddamn! a water-drinking woman fell sick, got took in, healed, and hadn't moved a peg since.
He wanted her out, but Sethe had let her in and he couldn't put her out of a house that wasn't his. Itwas one thing to beat up a ghost, quite another to throw a helpless coloredgirl out in territoryinfected by the Klan. Desperately thirsty for black blood, without which it could not live, thedragon swam the Ohio at will.
Sitting at table, chewing on his after-supper broom straw, Paul D decided to place her. Consultwith the Negroes in town and find her her own place.
No sooner did he have the thought than Beloved strangled on one of the raisins she had picked outof the bread pudding. She fell backward and off the chair and thrashed around holding her throat.
Sethe knocked her on the back while Denver pried her hands away from her neck. Beloved, on herhands and knees, vomited up her food and struggled for breath.
When she was quiet and Denver had wiped up the mess, she said, "Go to sleep now.""Come in my room," said Denver. "I can watch out for you up there."No moment could have been better. Denver had worried herself sick trying to think of a way to getBeloved to share her room. It was hard sleeping above her, wondering if she was going to be sickagain, fall asleep and not wake, or (God, please don't) get up and wander out of the yard just theway she wandered in. They could have their talks easier there: at night when Sethe and Paul Dwere asleep; or in the daytime before either came home. Sweet, crazy conversations full of halfsentences, daydreams and misunderstandings more thrilling than understanding could ever be.
When the girls left, Sethe began to clear the table. She stacked the plates near a basin of water.

挪。走。跑。藏。偷。然後不停地前進。只有一次，他有可能待在一個地方———和一個女人，或者說和一個家在一起———超過幾個月的時間。那唯一的一次差不多有兩年，是同那個特拉華的女織工一起度過的。特拉華是肯塔基州普拉斯基縣以外對待黑人最野蠻的地方，當然，佐治亞的監獄營地就甭提了。
同所有這些黑人相比，寵兒大不一樣。她的光芒，她的新鞋，都令他煩惱。也許只是他沒有煩擾她的事實令他煩惱。要麼就是巧合。她現身了，而且恰好發生在那天，塞絲和他結束了爭吵，一起去公共場合玩得很開心———好像一家人似的。可以這麼說，丹芙已經回心轉意；塞絲在開心地笑；他得到了許諾，會有一份固定的工作；124號除淨了鬼魂。已經開始像一種生活了。可是他媽的!一個能喝水的女人病倒了，給帶進屋來，康復了，然後就再沒挪過窩兒。
他想把她攆走，可是塞絲讓她進來了，他又無權把她趕出一所不屬於他的房子。打敗一個鬼是一碼事，可把一個無助的黑人姑娘扔到三K黨魔爪下的地方去，則完全是另一碼事。那惡龍在俄亥俄隨心所欲地遊弋，極度渴求黑人的血，否則就無法生存。
坐在飯桌旁，嚼着飯後的金雀花草，保羅·D決定安頓安頓她。同城裏的黑人們商量一下，給她找個地兒住。
他剛剛有了這個念頭，寵兒就被自己從麪包布丁裏挑出來的一顆葡萄乾噎住了。她向後倒去，摔出椅子，掐着脖子翻來滾去。

塞絲去捶她的背，丹芙將她的手從脖子上掰開。寵兒趴在地上，一邊嘔吐，一邊艱難地捯氣。
等到她平靜下來，丹芙擦去了穢物。寵兒說道：“現在去睡吧。”“到我屋裏來，”丹芙說，“我會在上邊好好看着你的。”沒有比這更好的時機了。丹芙爲了設法讓寵兒和她合住一室，都快急瘋了。睡在她上鋪並不容易，得擔心着她是否還會犯病、長睡不醒，或者（上帝保佑，千萬可別這樣）下牀漫步出院，像她漫步進來時那樣。她們在那裏可以更隨便地說話：在夜裏，當塞絲和保羅·D睡着以後；或是白天，在他們倆都沒到家的時候。甜蜜、荒唐的談話裏充滿了半截話、白日夢和遠比理解更令人激動的誤解。
姑娘們離開以後，塞絲開始收拾飯桌。她把盤子堆在一盆水旁邊。