經典科幻文學:《 再見 多謝你們的魚》第20章5

Now you tell me a story.
I thought, she said putting on a low husky voice, that you were very keen to get back.
No hurry, he said airily, I want you to tell me a story.
She looked out over the kale and pondered.
All right, she said, it’s only a short one. And not funny like yours, but… Anyway.
She looked down. Arthur could feel that it was one of those sorts of Moments. The air seemed to stand still around them, waiting. Arthur wished that the air would go away and mind its own business.
When I was a kid, she said. These sort of stories always start like this, don’t they, “When I was a kid…” Anyway. This is the bit where the girl suddenly says, “When I was a kid” and starts to unburden herself. We have got to that bit. When I was a kid I had this picture hanging over the foot of my bed… What do you think of it so far?
I like it. I think it’s moving well. You’re getting the bedroom interest in nice and early. We could probably do with some development with the picture.
It was one of those pictures that children are supposed to like, she said, but don’t. Full of endearing little animals doing endearing things, you know?
I know. I was plagued with them too. Rabbits in waistcoats.
Exactly. These rabbits were in fact on a raft, as were assorted rats and owls. There may even have been a reindeer.
On the raft. On the raft. And a boy was sitting on the raft.
Among the rabbits in waistcoats and the owls and the reindeer.
Precisely there. A boy of the cheery gypsy ragamuffin variety.
Ugh.
The picture worried me, I must say. There was an otter swimming in front of the raft, and I used to lie awake at night worrying about this otter having to pull the raft, with all these wretched animals on it who shouldn’t even be on a raft, and the otter had such a thin tail to pull it with I thought it must hurt pulling it all the time. Worried me. Not badly, but just vaguely, all the time.
Then one day and remember I’d been looking at this picture every night for years I suddenly noticed that the raft had a sail. Never seen it before. The otter was fine, he was just swimming along.
Good story? she said.
Ends weakly, said Arthur, leaves the audience crying “Yes, but what of it?” Fine up till there, but needs a final sting before the credits.
Fenchurch laughed and hugged her legs.
It was just such a sudden revelation, years of almost unnoticed worry just dropping away, like taking off heavy weights, like black and white becoming colour, like a dry stick suddenly being watered. The sudden shift of perspective that says “Put away your worries, the world is a good and perfect place. It is in fact very easy.” You probably thing I’m saying that because I’m going to say that I felt like that this afternoon or something, don’t you?
Well, I… said Arthur, his composure suddenly shattered.
Well, it’s all right, she said, I did. That’s exactly what I felt. But you see, I’ve felt that before, even stronger. Incredibly strongly. I’m afraid I’m a bit of a one, she said gazing off into the distance, for sudden startling revelations.
Arthur was at sea, could hardly speak, and felt it wiser, therefore, for the moment not to try.
It was very odd, she said, much as one of the pursuing Egyptians might have said that the behaviour of the Red Sea when Moses waved his rod at it was a little on the strange side.
Very odd, she repeated, for days before, the strangest feeling had been building in me, as if I was going to give birth. No, it wasn’t like that in fact, it was more as if I was being connected into something, bit by bit. No, not even that; it was as if the whole of the Earth, through me, was going to…
Does the number, said Arthur gently, forty-two mean anything to you at all?
What? No, what are you talking about? exclaimed Fenchurch.
Just a thought, murmured Arthur.

“現在你給我講個故事。”
“我以爲，”她裝出低沉嘶啞的聲音說，“你急着回去呢。”
“不着急，”他快活地說，“我想讓你給我講個故事。”
她的目光越過那片羽衣甘藍望向遠方，沉思着。
“好吧，”她說，“這只是個小故事。不像你的那麼搞笑，不過……總之就這樣。”
她目光下垂。阿瑟可以感覺到這就是那所謂的“一刻”。空氣似乎都在他們周圍凝固，等待。阿瑟希望空氣可以走開去忙自己的事兒。
“當我還是個小孩時，”她說，“這種故事總是這樣開頭的，不是麼，‘當我還是個小孩時……’總之就是這樣。這時候女孩應該突然說‘當我還是個小孩時’然後開始吐露心聲。我們已經到了這階段了。當我還是個小孩時我把這幅畫掛在我牀尾上……目前爲止你怎麼看這些？”
“我喜歡。我認爲這挺好。你很好地讓聽衆很快對臥室產生了興趣。我們也許可以在那幅畫上有情節發展。”
“這是那種小孩們應該會喜歡的那種畫，”她說，“但其實小孩不會喜歡。上面全都是可愛的小動物做着可愛的小事情，你明白吧？”
“我明白。我也很煩那玩意兒。穿馬甲的小兔子。”
“就是這樣。那些兔子事實上是在一隻筏子上，還夾雜着老鼠和貓頭鷹。可能甚至還有隻馴鹿。”
“在筏子上。”“在筏子上。而且一個男孩坐在筏子上。”
“在穿馬甲的兔子和貓頭鷹和馴鹿中間。”
“正好在那兒。那種衣衫襤褸的吉普賽型的愉快男孩。”
“啊哦。”
“那幅畫讓我擔心，我不得不說。上面有隻水獺遊在筏子前頭，我以前夜裏躺着的時候會醒來擔心那隻必須拉着筏子的水獺，那隻筏子上面有那麼多可憐的根本不該在筏子上的動物而水獺用來拉筏子的尾巴是如此的細，我認爲筏子總是會拽疼它。讓我擔心啊。不是很擔心，但只是無時無刻隱約地擔憂。”
“接着有一天——並且要記得多年來我每天晚上都看着這幅畫——我突然發現筏子上頭有一張帆。以前從來沒見到過。那隻水獺很好，只是這麼遊着罷了。”
“好故事吧？”她說。
“結尾比較無力，”阿瑟說，“留下了聽衆去呼喊‘是的，但怎麼了？’到那兒以前都很好，但需要在演職人員字幕出來之前有個最後的總結。”
芬琪詩笑着抱住她的腿。
“這只是突然的一個啓示，多年來幾乎不被察覺的擔憂頃刻間煙消雲散，就好像卸下了重擔，就好像黑白變成了彩色，就好像乾枝突然被澆上甘霖。這一視角的突然轉變想說明‘把你的憂慮放下，這個世界是個美好而且完美的地方。這實際上非常簡單。’你也許認爲我說這些，是因爲我將要說這一個下午我感覺到了這些或者什麼的，是吧？”
“呃，我……”阿瑟說着，他的鎮靜頃刻間瓦解了。
“好吧，沒關係，”她說，“我確實是這樣的。這就是我真正感受到的。但你瞧，我以前就感受過了，甚至更強烈。難以置信地強烈。我害怕我是一個碎片，”她一邊說一遍凝視着遠方，“屬於某個靈光一現的啓示。”
阿瑟處於迷茫的海洋中，幾乎說不出話來，因此他覺着此時更明智的選擇是不要嘗試開口。
“這太詭異了，”她說着，就好像當埃及追兵看到摩西揮舞手杖將紅海分開時說紅海的變化有些奇異似的。
“太詭異了，”她重複着，“幾天之前，我有了一種最奇怪的感覺，好像我就要生孩子似的。不，其實不像這個，更像是我跟某個東西連結起來了，一環連一環。不，甚至不像這個，這就像是整個地球，穿過了我，就要……”
“這個數字，”阿瑟輕柔地說，“四十二對你有任何意義麼？”
“啥？不，你在說什麼啊？”芬琪詩驚叫道。
“只是突然想到，”阿瑟咕噥道。