心靈雞湯:初次約會必須注意的11個細節(1)

It doesn’t matter where or how you got one, first dates are awesome. And terrifying。

不論你在哪兒及怎樣約會，初次約會感覺很棒。還有些嚇人。

Whether you’re meeting up with your hairdresser’s cousin’s single friend, or you’ve decided to choose an unusual date on HowAboutWe, there are more ‘first world problems’ in the world of dating now than ever. On your first date, they can be deal-breakers, so check out these 11 first date tips for modern love lives。

不管你是要去見你理髮師的堂兄弟的單身朋友，還是你決定在約會交友網站HowAboutWe上選擇一位不尋常的對象，如今約會是到的“重大” 問題比起以往要來得多。它們可能會成爲初次約會的“不速之客”，因此看看這11條關於現代愛情生活的初次約會的建議吧。

1. Know when it’s a date (and when it isn’t)

分清什麼時候是在約會(什麼時候不是約會)

There are no hard rules any more when it comes to what counts as a date. You could go for nachos with several friends and still make that your first date if you both want to. Or you could meet one-on-one, have dinner, sleep together, and call it “friends with benefits”. That being so, your safest bet is to be clear by calling it a date when you agree where and when to meet up。

關於怎麼界定什麼是約會已經沒有很嚴格的規則了。你可以約幾個朋友一起去吃烤乾酪辣味玉米片，如果你們倆都願意的話，這同樣可以當成你們的初次約會。你也可以一對一見面、吃飯、睡覺，稱之爲“炮友”。也就是說，最穩妥的做法是，你要清楚你們如何界定在哪裏及在什麼時候見面算約會。

2. Talk, don’t text

交談，不要發短信

Asking someone on a date by text or IM might seem like a great way to dodge confidence issues, but it loses a lot of your message. Instead, make the arrangements the old-fashioned way by phone or in person so that you can hear each other’s voices. And if you’re invited on a date via SMS, text back, “Sounds good. Give me a call when you’re free to talk about it!”

通過短信或IM(即時通訊軟件)約會似乎是一種規避信心不足的非常好的方法，但它會丟失了很多信息。用傳統的方式安排約會，那就是打電話，或面對面說，這樣你可以聽到彼此的聲音。如果別人發短信邀約你，你就回復：“聽起來不錯。如果你方便溝通的話，給我打個電話。”

3. Don’t do dinner

不要選擇吃飯時間

Dinner takes a while and if you’re desperate to escape after the first drink, you’ll wish you’d arranged a shorter date! Go for a lunch date instead, or choose a non-food situation like a walk in the park. That way you can leave early if you want, or make it last all afternoon if you’re having fun。

吃晚餐很花時間，如果在喝完第一杯酒以後你非常想離開，你會希望你安排了一次簡短的約會。可以選擇吃頓午飯，或是不要選擇吃飯的時段，比如在公園裏散個步。這樣的話，如果你想早點結束約會，就可以早點走啦；或是你覺得很有趣，可以讓它持續一整個下午。

4. Agree a connectivity policy

協商一致

Do you hate it when people answer phone calls during a date? Or are you too busy tweeting to notice? Agree with your date from the start about what’s OK and what’s rude so that you won’t get annoyed with each other’s mobile interruptions。

約會時對方還在接電話，你是不是不喜歡？或是你自己忙着發微博？從一開始和約會對象商定哪些是允許的，哪些是不禮貌的舉動，這樣當對方手機響起打擾你們談話時，你就用不着生氣了。

5. Smell nice

清新的氣味

Smell is one of the most complex human senses; it triggers emotions, memories, and physical feelings. If you smell nice to your date, they’ll find you more attractive; if you smell nice to yourself, you’ll feel more confident and attractive, too. Scents that most people (male or female) like include fruits, vanilla, and clean human skin。

嗅覺是人類最複雜的感官之一；它會激發情感、記憶、和身體的感受。如果氣味不令人討厭，你就更有吸引力；如果你自己覺得氣味不錯，你會更有自信和更有吸引力。大多數人(包括男性和女性)喜歡的氣味包括水果味、香草味和清潔的體味。

6. Ask them to do you a favour

請他們幫你一個忙

It may sound backwards, but it’s true. Research shows that asking somebody to do you a personal favour tends to make them like you more, so ask for something small like their help to choose a gift for a friend. Then thank them plenty and show your gratitude by inviting them on a second date!

聽起來可能會不理解，但這是真的。研究表明，請別人幫你一個忙通常會讓他們更加喜歡你，所以請他們幫個小忙，比如說在爲朋友選禮物上給個建議。然後深情地謝謝他們，再次邀約他們以表達你的謝意。