雙語散文:岳母大人

The In-Laws

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. The farmer had genuinely tried to be friendly to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly, non-antagonistic relationship. All to no avail though, as she kept nagging them at every opportunity,demanding changes, offering unwanted advice, and generally making life unbearable to the farmer and his new bride.

While they were walking through the barn, during the forced inspection, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly. It was a shock to all no matter their feelings toward her demanding ways.

At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head yes and say something. When ever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, however, he would shake his head no, and mumble a reply.

Very curious as to this bizarre behavior, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about. The farmer replied, "The women would say, 'What a terrible tragedy' and I would nod my head and say 'Yes, it was.' The men would then ask, 'Can I borrow that mule?' and I would shake my head and say, 'Can't, it's all
booked up for a year.'"

1. in-law：[常作複數]姻親。

2. 一位新婚的農夫和他的妻子接待妻子母親大人的來訪，這位母親一到就要求看看他們的農場。newlywed: 新婚的。

3. 這個農夫很真誠地盡力以友好的態度對待他的新任岳母，希望建立起友好的，而非對抗性的關係。genuinely:真誠地，真心地；antagonistic:對抗（性）的，敵對（性）的。

4. 然而，一切都是徒勞，岳母大人一有機會就不斷地指手畫腳，不停地要求改這換那，不斷地提出不受歡迎的建議，終於使農夫和他的新娘對這種日子感到忍無可忍。avail：幫助，效用；nag：（以不斷的指責、抱怨、要求）使煩惱，不斷地找…… 的岔子。

5. 農夫的騾子突然暴跳起來，正好踢中嶽母的頭。

6. 儘管他們對她的專橫苛求不滿，但還是覺得很突然。

7. funeral：葬禮；casket：(尤指昂貴而有華麗裝飾的)棺材；greet：迎接，招呼；folks：親屬。

8. pastor：(基督教的)本堂牧師；whisper：低聲說出，祕密(或私下)告訴。

9. mumble：含糊地說，咕噥地說。

10. 牧師對農夫的古怪行爲很好奇，就問他到底是怎麼回事。

11. 多麼不幸的事啊。

12 .不行，（這頭騾子）已經訂滿一年了。