時尚雙語:成功經營異地戀
It's hard enough to make local relationships work, but having mile, States, and sometimes even an ocean between you makes it even More difficult. However, successful long distance relationships can and do exist. Here's how to give yours every chance to survive and thrive.
經營一段本地戀情已然相當困難，更何況當兩人相隔數英里，或者一個州，甚或是一片海洋。然而，成功的異地戀確實存在。以下方法教你把握住每一個機會，讓你的異地戀生存並繁榮。
Step:步驟
1. Ask the important questions at the onset, to make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship.
首先要弄明白一些重要的問題，從而更清晰地認識你們兩人的關係。
Setting parameters such as naming your relationship (dating, seeing each other, boyfriend/girlfriend, engaged)as well defining exclusive(limited to one person,) non exclusive. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line.
用些參數來定義一下你們的關係吧，僅僅是想約會、見面、做男女朋友，還是想要訂婚？對於單身的人來說，也要定義一下你是不是獨身主義者。回答這些問題確實既困難又尷尬，不過這麼做可以免去你永無止境的頭疼和誤解。
Example: "Are you open to the possibility of relocating if the relationship should become more serious?" or "What are you looking to get out of the relationship?". Stating your end goal or ideas will allow each person to maintain what they need.
舉例來講：“如果兩人的關係更進一步，會考慮搬家嗎？”或是：“彼此想從兩人的關係中獲取什麼呢？”定義你的終極目標和理念會讓兩個人爲此共同經營下去。
2. Do things together. Defy the distance. 統一協作，藐視距離。
As a long distance couple, it's important to do other things together besides the usual phone call. In a long distance relationship, interaction over the phone can become dull in the long run. Incorporating other forms of interaction are important.
很重要的一點，作爲異地情侶，除了平時打電話你們還應該一起做些別的事情。長期打電話是不是很無聊？嘗試其他形式的協作非常重要。
Just think... people in short-distance relationships do not spend the majority of their time talking, but rather doing things with each other. Try to replicate this by finding things to do together such as watching a TV show or movie simultaneously.
想想看，非異地的情侶絕不會花很多時間去打電話，而是一起去做一些事情。你們也要嘗試着這樣做，儘量找點可以一起做的事情，比如看一樣的電視節目或電影。
3. Communicate in some way every day, more than once if possible. 不管怎麼着，每天都交流，並且儘可能的多些吧。
Since you won't be seeing each other, it's important to establish and maintain an emotional connection. These don't always have to be long, in-depth conversations. Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies. Ask for advice. Use an instant messenger program or web cams for that visual connection.
儘管你們看不到對方，但是建立和維持情緒上的溝通十分重要。並不總是需要冗長而又有深度的交流。彼此分享小成就或是小挫折。彼此徵詢意見。發短信或是聊QQ，要不就去視頻聊天。
E-mail is great so make sure you use it, especially if long-distance phone calls put a strain on your budget. Remember that e-mail and even instant messengers can increase the possibility of misunderstandings. Write love letters. Send small gifts or flowers for no reason. In this case, quantity is as important as quality. You may discover an advantage over others whose partner is close at hand--you don't take communication for granted!
尤其當長途電話讓你荷包吃緊的時候，不要忘了電子郵件的好處喲。但也要記住電子郵件和短信可能會引起你們之間的誤解。寫封情書吧。或是沒有什麼緣由地送點小禮物或者花。這樣，交流的數量就會和質量一樣重要了。你會發現你甚至比那些非異地戀的人有優勢——因爲你們不會把交流視爲例行工事。
4. Take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers. 利用異地戀帶來的優勢。
More time with friends and/or family, no arguments over toothpaste caps, the pleasure of seeing your sweetheart again after a long absence, time to mull your options (rather than snapping at your partner impulsively) before you respond to that email she/he wrote that seemed so rude the first time you read it, etc. Most important, being far apart gives you a chance to maintain your individuality--something that can get lost in the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together.
有更多的時間陪伴你的朋友和家人，不會爲雞毛蒜皮的小事爭吵，而且長久分離後的相聚會更加甜蜜。當你遇到對方提出的無理要求或是其他類似情況時，你有更多的時間去決斷，而不是像非異地那樣給你的愛人當頭一棒。更重要的是，你們之間的距離讓你得以保持自己的個性——而這些都是容易在情侶日日相處的時光裏消磨掉的東西。
5. Pursue common interests. 追求共同的愛好。
If there's a movie you're both interested in seeing, watch it individually and then call each other afterward and talk about it. Read a certain book at the same time. Stargaze while you're on the phone. Set your watches to go off at the same time every day, and synchronize your alarm with that of your partner. Make it a point to think of each other when your watch goes off, and revel in the fact that he or she is thinking about you, too. Find creative ways to bond.
如果有一個你們都感興趣的電影上映了，那麼各自去看，然後電話交流觀後感。同時閱讀一本書。打電話時一起做白日夢。讓你們的手錶每時每刻都顯示相同的數字，讓你們的鬧鐘同時響起。在每天的某一時刻同時思念對方，體會此刻對方也在思念你的甜蜜。發揮你的創造力，讓你們更貼近彼此。
6. Avoid the temptation to be controlling. 忘卻完全控制對方的邪念。
People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference.
人生來平等，沒有人可以或是應該被其他的人控制。既然你們決定選擇這段異地戀情，就要接受這個事實，何況這和異地也沒有必然的聯繫。
As soon as one of you decides the other is not a good match--or someone else is a better match--your relationship ends, whether you live 3000 miles apart, two streets over, or share the same bed with your wedding picture on the wall. You are going to have to trust each other completely if this relationship is going to work.
如果一方覺得和另一方不是很合得來，或是一方有了更好的對象，那麼不論你們是相隔3000英尺還是兩條大街，再或是睡一張牀上而牆面上還掛着你們的婚紗照，你們的關係都玩完了。而只要你們的關係還在繼續，那就要完全地相信對方。
7. Visit often 多見面
Try to make the time to visit each other as often as possible or as often as your budget permits you to. A relationship cannot thrive if the only thing you have is the phone calls. You need to see each other up close and personal every chance you get. The key here is to set up some "rules" about frequency of communication and visits and stick to them, consistency can help a LDR survive.
如果時間允許，預算允許，那能多見面就多見面吧。只打電話是不能讓感情茁壯成長的。只要有機會，就要面對面。這方面的祕訣是建立一系列關於日常交流和見面的“制度”，堅持執行，這樣可以保住你們異地戀的小命兒。
8. Avoid jealousy and be trusting. 不要妒嫉，要信任。
One of the easiest ways to destroy a perfectly healthy relationship is to poison it with jealousy and drama. When you start a long distance relationship you must be realistic of the difficulties ahead. It always helps if you go in a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and worth of trust until proven otherwise.
嫉妒和過激是殺死健康感情最快速的毒藥。當你決定開始一段異地戀時，你必須認識到前路艱難。當沒有什麼能證明事實並不是如此時，你應該認爲每個人都天真無邪、值得信任，這麼想會有利於你們的關係。
Don't fall in the trap to interrogate your partner every time he/she decides to go out for a drink with people you haven't met or he/she didn't get back to you right away when you called and left a message. Just because you are in a LDR, you lives won't pause. Your partner will naturally have a social life where he/she lives and so should you. Sure it helps to have your eyes open and not be totally naive but being overly suspicious is unhealthy for you and your relationship too.
不要掉入諸如此類的陷阱：比如質問你的另一半爲什麼要和你不認識的人喝酒，或是爲什麼對方沒有馬上回你的電話或短信。正是由於你們身處不同的地方，你們的生活在繼續，所以你們彼此當然應該在各自的圈子裏有各自的社交生活。你當然需要睜大眼睛，也不能太傻太天真，但過度的猜忌絕對不利於你們的關係。
9. Know when to say good-bye. 知道怎麼說再見。
While this is tough in any relationship, this can be especially hard over long distances. When communication becomes one-sided or sparse for too long and for no apparent reason, when arguments become too frequent, when the whole thing just seems like more trouble than it's worth, it's time to re-uate the relationship. You have to remember that for a healthy relationship, no matter how far or close, you must be willing to let go.
對任何類型的感情來說，分手都不好受，對異地戀來說更是這樣。當時間或說不出來的原因讓交流變成隻言片語或無比罕見，當爭吵頻頻現身，當整個形勢淪爲本不該成爲的大累贅，那麼，是時候重新審視你們的感情了。必須記住，對於健康的感情，無論咫尺或是天涯，該放手時就放手。
Long distance dating is all about a balanced relationship between partners; a relationship built on strong foundations of trust, understanding and determination to make it work. The two partners should be reasonable about their expectations and willing to cooperate so that this relationship can lead to a happy ending. If these parameters are taken care of, you have nothing to worry about.
異地戀就是情侶間達成平衡關係的一種感情；建立在信任、理解和決心基礎上的感情必將有所收穫。兩個人應當理性地對待共同的期待和意願，共同努力，這樣這份感情就會修成正果。如果以上因素都被認真考慮過了，那麼，別有什麼好擔心的了。
