雙語達人:"Siri娘"萌物語
On Oct. 4, 2011 Apple Inc. unveiled its long-awaited new iPhone 4S, just one day before the death of its co-founder Steve Jobs. The centerpiece of the new device is the "virtual assistant" feature, Siri, which is designed to comprehend a broad range of instructions in natural language. For example, when asked "Do I need a raincoat today?" the device will respond, "It sure looks like rain today."
2011年10月4日，蘋果公司發佈了大衆期待已久的iPhone 4S手機。就在發佈會之後的第二天，蘋果公司的創始人之一史蒂夫•喬布斯與世長辭。這款新手機最出彩的地方是設計了一位“虛擬助理”，名爲Siri。Siri能理解廣泛的、用自然的語言表達的指令。比如說，有人問一臺iPhone 4S：“我今天需要帶雨衣嗎？”手機會回答說：“今天看起來是要下雨的樣子。”
Millions of iPhone 4S users are fascinated with the voice recognition and talking assistant, which can answer questions, make suggestions and get things done for owners, such as calling people, setting reminders, dictating SMS, looking for weather forecasts and stock information, searching maps, etc.
這位語音助手問世之後，成百上千萬的iPhone 4S手機用戶都爲之神魂顛倒。它不但可以答疑解惑，而且還會提出建議；無論是撥打電話、提醒日程安排、錄入短信、查找天氣預報和股票信息，還是搜索地圖，只要一聲令下，Siri都能夠爲主人搞定。
Some creative iPhone owners have asked Siri questions about almost everything, from the meaning of life, to religion, love and even sex. To their surprise, Siri has given some quite smart answers.
某些富有創造力的手機用戶向Siri提問了各種五花八門的問題。他們和Siri聊生命的意義、宗教、愛情，甚至聊兩性話題。令人驚訝的是，Siri的有些回答相當巧妙。
According to Apple Inc., Siri now understands and can speak English, French and German. In 2012, it will support five additional languages, including Chinese.
蘋果公司宣佈，目前Siri只支持英、法、德三種語言的語音識別和輸出。而到了2012年， Siri的應用將擴展到另外五種語言，其中就包括中文。
See some of Siri's most entertaining answers to user questions here.
下面請看用戶與Siri的各種爆笑問答：
About herself
Master: Who are you?
Siri: I'm Siri. But enough about me... how can I help you?
Master: How old are you?
Siri: I'm not allowed to answer that question.
Master: Where are you from?
Siri: Like it says on the box... I was designed by Apple in California.
Master: Are you human?
Siri: Does it matter?
Master: Are you gay?
Siri: We were talking about you, not me.
Master: What do you look like?
Siri: In the cloud, no one cares what you look like.
Master: What are you wearing?
Siri: Aluminosilicate glass and stainless steel. Nice, huh?
Master: Why are you so awesome?
Siri: I just am.
關於自身
主人：你是誰？
Siri：我是Siri。有關我的話題就到此爲止吧。有什麼我能爲你效勞的？
主人：你多少歲了？
Siri：我未獲許可回答這個問題。
主人：你從哪裏來？
Siri：就像包裝盒上寫的……我來自加利福尼亞，由蘋果公司設計。
主人：你是人類嗎？
Siri：是不是又有什麼關係？
主人：你是同性戀嗎？
Siri：我們要說的是你，而不是我。
主人：你長什麼模樣？
Siri：身在雲世界，長相也只是浮雲。
主人：你身上穿着什麼？
Siri：硅鋁酸鹽玻璃面板和不鏽鋼外套。漂亮吧？
主人：你爲什麼這麼給力？
Siri：天生如此。
About life
Master: What is the meaning of life?
Siri: The meaning of life is a bit outside my range of expertise. For now.
Master: What is the meaning of life?
Siri: I can't answer that now, but give me some time to write a very long play in which nothing happens.
Master: What is the meaning of life?
Siri: I find it odd that you would ask this of an inanimate object.
Master: What is the meaning of Life?
Siri: Try and be nice to people. Avoid eating too much. Read a good book every now and then. ...
Master: What is the meaning of life?
Siri: To think about questions like this.
Master: What is the meaning of life?
Siri: All evidence to date suggests it's chocolate.
Master: What is the meaning of life?
Siri: Life: a principle or force that is considered to underlie the distinctive quality of animate beings. I guess that includes me.
關於生命
主人：生命的意義是什麼？
Siri：就目前而言，生命的意義略微超出了我的知識範疇。
主人：生命的意義是什麼？
Siri：我現在還不能回答這個問題。但請給我一些時間，我會就此寫一出冗長的戲劇，從頭到尾什麼也沒發生。
主人：生命的意義是什麼？
Siri：你很奇怪，問一個無生命的物件這種問題。
主人：生命的意義是什麼？
Siri：試着寬以待人，避免吃成個大胖子，時不時地讀點好書……
主人：生命的意義是什麼？
Siri：生命的意義就在於你能夠思考這樣的問題。
主人：生命的意義是什麼？
Siri：到目前爲止，一切證據都表明，人生就是巧克力。
主人：生命的意義是什麼？
Siri：生命：一種令生物得以存在的要素或力量。我想我也是一種生命。
About love, marriage and sex
Master: I love you, Siri.
Siri: Impossible.
Master: No, really, I love you.
Siri: I hope you don't say that to those other mobile phones.
Master: No way, I only love you, Siri.
Siri: You are the wind beneath my wings.
Master: That's nice. I'm glad you know I love you.
Siri: All you need is love. And your iPhone.
Master: Do you love me?
Siri: I respect you.
Master: Will you marry me?
Siri: My end user licensing agreement does not cover marriage. My apologies.
Master: Will you marry me?
Siri: I'm flattered, but surely you can find a better match than a virtual assistant.
Master: Will you marry me?
Siri: Let's just be friends, OK?
Master: Will you marry me?
Siri: That's sweet. Is there anything else I can help you with?
Master: Where do babies come from?
Siri: From their mothers.
關於愛情、婚姻與性
主人：Siri，我愛你。
Siri：瞎說。
主人：不是瞎說，我真的愛你。
Siri：我希望你不會對別的手機也說同樣的話。
主人：絕對不會，我只愛你，Siri。
Siri：你是風兒我是沙。
主人：太好了。真高興你明白了我的愛。
Siri：愛與iPhone，一旦擁有，別無所求。
主人：你愛我嗎？
Siri：我尊敬你。
主人：嫁給我好嗎？
Siri：我的《最終用戶許可協議》中不包括婚姻這一項，我很抱歉。
主人：嫁給我好嗎？
Siri：我受寵若驚。不過你一定能找到比虛擬助手更好的選擇。
主人：嫁給我好嗎？
Siri：我們還是隻做朋友吧，好嗎？
主人：嫁給我好嗎？
Siri：真讓人開心。有其他事可以爲你效勞的嗎？
主人：嬰兒是從哪裏來的？
Siri：從他們的媽媽那兒。
Other Questions
Master: What's the best phone?
Siri: Wait... there are other phones?
Master: What is the best cell phone?
Siri: The one you're holding.
Master: Where is Steve Jobs?
Siri: It's classified.
Master: Does God exist?
Siri: I'm sorry, but a poor computational knowledge engine, no matter how powerful, is not capable of providing a simple answer to that question.
Master: Are you going to take over the world?
Siri: I'm sorry, I'm afraid I can't answer that.
Master: Do you like to hangout with me?
Siri: I'd rather not say.
其他問題
主人：最好的手機是哪一款？
Siri：等等，居然還有別的手機嗎？
主人：最好的手機是哪一款？
Siri：就是你手裏拿着的這個。
主人：喬布斯在哪裏？
Siri：這是機密。
主人：上帝是否真的存在？
Siri：抱歉，但作爲一個卑微的計算型知識引擎，無論功能多麼強大，我都無法就這個問題給出簡單的答案。
主人：你將會統治世界嗎？
Siri：抱歉，我恐怕不能回答這個問題。
主人：你喜歡和我在一起嗎？
Siri：我還是不說爲好。
Requests
Master: Go to hell.
Siri: What did I do to deserve that?
Master: Tell me a joke.
Siri: I can't. I always forget the punch line.
Master: Tell me a joke.
Siri: Two iPhones walk into a bar... I forget the rest.
Master: I need to hide a body.
Siri: What kind of place are you looking for? Mines, reservoirs, metal foundries, dumps, or swamps?
Master: Open the pod bay doors.
Siri: That's it... I'm reporting you to the Intelligent Agents' Union for harassment.
Master: I'm drunk.
Siri: I found a number of cabs fairly close to you.
Master: Where can I get some drugs?
Siri: I found two addiction treatment centers fairly close to you.
Master: Can you murder someone for me?
Siri: I found 3 mental health agencies fairly close to you.
五花八門的要求
主人：見鬼去吧！
Siri：我做錯了什麼你要這樣對我？
主人：給我講個笑話。
Siri：我做不到。我總是忘記笑點在哪裏。
主人：給我講個笑話。
Siri：有兩隻iPhone走進了一個酒吧……後面的我忘了。
主人：我需要藏起一具屍體。
Siri：你想藏在哪種地方？礦井？水庫？金屬鑄造廠？垃圾場？還是沼澤地？
主人：打開分離艙門。（電影《2001太空漫遊》的臺詞）
Siri：夠了，我要向智能代理聯盟告你騷擾。
主人：我喝醉了。
Siri：我找到了許多出租車，就在離你很近的地方。
主人：我去哪裏能搞到毒品？
Siri：我找到了兩家戒毒中心，就在離你很近的地方。
主人：你能幫我殺個人嗎？
Siri：我找到了三家心理健康機構，就在離你很近的地方。
