美美的新年願望:找個丈夫大綱

IT'S my first Chinese class of the year with my Mandarin teacher, Meimei. We are discussing New Year's resolutions. Meimei's is to find a husband.

這是我今年與我的中文老師美美的第一節中文課。我們正在討論新年計劃。美美計劃找到一個丈夫。

"2013 is the year I will meet my husband!" she declares. "And in 2014 I will get married!"

“2013年是我將遇到我丈夫的一年！”她說。“2014年我將結婚！”

My resolutions are to take more pictures and order food delivery less often, but I admire her ambition. "You're right!" I tell her. "Perhaps I need to think bigger."

我計劃拍攝更多的照片，少定一些快餐，但是我很佩服她的雄心。“你是對的！”我告訴她。“也許我需要考慮得長遠一些。”

Being the same age and single, Meimei and I have great empathy with one another, although our circumstances are not exactly the same. Like most unmarried Chinese women nearing 30, she comes under intense pressure from her parents to find a husband. My mother, by contrast, takes the subtler approach of simply wondering out loud whether she will ever become a grandmother.

同樣年齡和單身，美美和我對彼此有強烈的共鳴，儘管我們的情況下並不完全相同。像大多數未婚的接近30歲的中國女性一樣，她開始承受來自父母要求找一個丈夫的巨大壓力。我的母親，相比之下，以簡單地想知道她是否會成爲一個祖母的想法採取着更微妙的方式。

Today Meimei is full of romantic optimism, because the day before our class was January 4, 2013. In Mandarin this sounds a bit like Yi Sheng Yi Shi (201314), which means "Love You All My Life," she explains. Apparently 10,000 Chinese couples chose the day to get married.

今天美美全是浪漫的樂觀情緒，因爲我們課的前一天是2013年1月4日。普通話聽起來有點像“一生一世” (201314)，這意味着“一生都愛你，”她解釋說。很顯然一萬對中國夫婦選擇了這一天結婚。

"Maybe January 4, 2014, will be your turn!" I say.

“也許2014年1月4日將輪到你！”我說。

She shudders and I realize I have committed a terrible faux pas. "That sounds like 'I want to die'," she says in a horrified whisper. "That wouldn't be a romantic choice for a wedding date."

她渾身顫抖，我意識到我犯了一個可怕的社交錯誤。“那聽起來像‘我想死’，”她用一種驚恐的聲音小聲說。“這不會是婚禮日期的浪漫選擇。”

China's obsession with auspicious-sounding numbers never fails to tickle me, given that so many words in Mandarin actually do sound the same. In addition, there are a whole host of superstitious homophones that it seems only Chinese can hear. My birthday, May 20, is also a good day, according to Meimei, because it supposedly sounds like the Chinese for 'I love you.' Except that it really doesn't.

中國人對聽起來吉祥的數字的執迷總是使我發笑，考慮到漢語中那麼多字實際聽起來一樣。此外，還有一整套同音異義詞，似乎只有中國人才能聽到。我的生日，5月20日，也是一個好日子，根據美美的說法，因爲它能聽起來像中國的“我愛你。”除了它真的沒有。

Being female, 30 and unmarried in China is not considered lucky. Meimei uses the English counting system because it makes her 29, instead of the Chinese system, where babies are born aged 1 and she is already past it.

作爲30歲的未婚女性在中國被認爲是不幸運的。美美使用英語計數系統因爲這使她才29歲，而不是中國的系統，在嬰兒出生時1歲，那樣算她早已經過了29歲。

For months her concerned parents have been sending her on blind dates, which inevitably fail to live up to expectations. She delights in regaling me with tales of these boring men, including the latest, a public servant whose sole topic of conversation consists of asking her what she has eaten that day.

幾個月來她操心的父母一直讓她相親，這不可避免地無法實現預期。她喜歡和我講這些無聊男人的故事，包括最新的那位，唯一的話題就是問那一天她吃了什麼的公務員。

"One day he wanted to go out for rice porridge. In the evening!" she says.

“有一天他想出去吃稀飯。在晚上！”她說。

With the 30 deadline fast approaching, Meimei has decided to take fate into her own hands and pay large sums to a professional matchmaker, who has promised to introduce her to hundreds of suitable men.

30歲期限即將到來，美美已經決定要掌握自己的命運，支付大筆金錢給職業媒人，那個已答應給她介紹數百個合適男人的人。

Dating in China involves a minefield of complex requirements. According to Meimei, men are supposed to be Gao Fu Shuai - tall, rich and handsome - while women should be Bai Fu Mei - white, rich and beautiful. Men have the added responsibility of securing a car, a house and a promotion by the time they reach their fourth decade if they are to have any hope of finding a wife.

在中國約會涉及到複雜需求的雷區。根據梅梅，男人應該成爲高富帥——個高、富有、英俊，而女性則應該成爲白富美——膚白、富有和美麗。男人還有額外的責任來保證一輛車、一棟房子以及當他們到40歲時的一場晉升如果他們想有任何找到妻子的希望。

"Everyone says Shanghai women are so superficial," she sniffs. "But I don't mind at all if my future husband doesn't have a car. Or a house. As long as, you know, he was going to buy one at some point."

“每個人都說上海女性是如此膚淺，”她鄙視地說。“但我一點都不介意如果我未來的丈夫沒有車。或一棟房子。只要，你知道，他將在某個時間段能買上。”

The matchmaker asked Meimei for a list of her criteria and she said that he should be kind and earn a minimum of 5,000 yuan (US$804) a month. The matchmaker took one look at clever, beautiful Meimei, and told her she was setting the bar too low.

媒人問美美她的一系列標準，她說他應該友好，月收入至少5000元(804美元)。媒人看了一眼聰明漂亮的美美，告訴她她設置的門檻很低。

"You need to double the salary requirement to at least 10,000 a month," she advised.

“你需要兩倍的工資要求，至少一萬一個月，”她建議道。

Meimei is a bit put out by this.

美美對此有點惱怒。

"Any nice man with a house and a car has definitely gone by now," she says gloomily. "If my expectations were really so low, doesn't she think I would have found one already?"

“任何有房有車的好男人現在絕對走了，”她沮喪地說。“如果我的期望真如此低，難道她不認爲我早就應該找到了嗎？”