一個毀掉成人友誼的單詞

There’s this word that you probably use all the time. It’s a seemingly harmless word — close to meaningless, really — but it’s slowly, subversively tainting your relationships.

有一個詞你或許一直在使用。它是一個看起來無害的單詞——事實上近乎無意義——但它正在慢慢地破壞你的人際關係。

Look back over any recent texts and emails you’ve sent to friends. If they look something like this, you’re caught in this word’s trap:

回頭看一看你最近發給朋友的短信和郵件。如果他們看起來是這樣，你就陷入了這個單詞的陷阱：

“I’d love to hang out! But I’m really busy.”

“我很想出去玩！但我真的太忙了。”

“Sorry I didn’t get back to you earlier! I’ve been so busy.”

“抱歉我沒有及時回覆你！我太忙了。”

“What’s going on with me? Just busy as usual!”

“我最近怎麼樣嗎？像往常一樣忙！”

You guessed it. The single-word saboteur is BUSY. Let’s discuss the top three reasons it’s time to be done with “busy”.

你猜到了。這個破壞關係的單詞就是“忙”。讓我們來討論一下三個和“忙”說再見的原因。

1. Everyone is busy.

1.每個人都很忙。

These days, saying you’re busy is basically like saying you’re alive. The word itself no longer relates to any specific, making it basically meaningless — and meaningless language is a problem for relationships because it doesn’t help other people understand what, specifically, you’re going through. It actually impedes mutual understanding.

如今，說你很忙基本上就等於說你活着。這個單詞本身已經沒有任何實際的意思，基本變得毫無意義——毫無意義的語言是人際關係的問題，因爲它不能讓其他人明白你具體在經歷什麼。它事實上阻礙了相互理解。

2. It’s open to (negative) interpretation.

2.它導致了（消極的）揣測。

The vague nature of “I’m really busy” leaves the real reason why you’re being unavailable to a friend open to interpretation. It allows others to fill in the blank of your true intentions. Often, they will fill that blank with a negative assumption. In a worst-case scenario, friends may feel like your “busy” is a way of blowing them off without having to state a reason for doing so.

“我很忙”具有模糊的屬性，它讓你時間被佔用的真實原因成爲朋友的揣測。它導致其他人填補你真實意圖的空白。通常情況下，他們會用消極的揣測來填補這個空白。在最差的情況下，你們朋友或許會覺得“忙”只是不必說原因而應付他們的藉口。

3. It means “not right now.”

3.它意味着“現在不行”。

Often, “busy” simply means that you have higher priorities right now than seeing friends. Saying “not right now” when someone tries to engage with you is a relationship killer because it fosters a feeling of rejection. “Busy” is the friendship equivalent of “not right now.” It lacks a sense of caring about the other person and fosters distance as a result.

通常情況下，“忙”僅僅意味着你目前有比見朋友更重要的事。當別人邀請你參加某件事時，說“現在不行”會扼殺人際關係因爲它會使人產生被拒絕的感覺。“忙”和“現在不行”是等同的。它缺少爲他人的考慮，因此疏遠了彼此的距離。

譯文屬原創，未經允許，不得轉載。