幸福婚姻的關鍵元素大綱
BUILD YOUR TEAM SPIRIT
建立團隊精神"The Most important element of making a relationship work is teamwork," says Dr. Tina Tessina, Ph.D., author of Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About The Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage. "If you play tug of war with each other, you won't get anywhere. But as partners, you can accomplish anything." Everyone loves a good team-just look at how riled up we all are over the World Cup. Bring a little bit of that spirit to your relationship. It could be as simple as joining your local bowling league and making T-shirts that say "Team Smith." "Playing up that in-it-together mentality enhances the bonds of your relationship," adds Tessina. So when it comes time to huddle over a serious issue like finances, you'll be pumped to get on the same page.
"情感順利的最重要一條就是團隊合作，"蒂娜·泰斯納（Tina Tessina）醫生說道，她是一位博士，也是《錢、性和孩子：不要再爲這三件可能毀壞婚姻的事而爭吵不休了》（Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About The Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage）一書的作者。"如果你們彼此開戰，誰都得不了便宜。但作爲夥伴，你們能完成一切。"每個人都喜歡有一個好的團隊--只要看看我們在世界盃上有多麼瘋狂就行了。感情關係中也可融入一點這樣的精神。這就與加入地方保齡隊和在短袖上寫"史密斯隊"一樣簡單。"展示那種團結一致的心態能促進情感的昇華，"泰斯納說道。所以當你們需要解決類似財務等重要問題時，最好還是統一戰線吧。TREAT YOUR PARTNER LIKE A CHILD
像對待孩子一樣對待另一半
Yes, you read that right. Think about it: You know it's not enough to tell a child, "I love you. You're the greatest." You need to be specific and focus on the actual task they've accomplished, like, "You did a great job setting the table" or "You were so brave to tell your friend she hurt your feelings," says Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of Marriage Rules. That same logic applies to your husband-crystal-clear compliments go a lot further than vague verbal pats on the back. "Speaking to specifics warms things up and lets your partner know why you really admire him," helping to reinforce a real connection, adds Lerner.
是的，你沒看錯。想想看：你知道只是告訴小孩子"我愛你，你最棒了"是不夠的。你需要具體一點，專門表揚他們實際完成的任務，比如，"桌子佈置的真好"又或者"你真勇敢，告訴了你朋友她傷害了你的感情，"哈里特·勒納博士說道，她是《婚姻法則》（Marriage Rules）一書的作者。這種邏輯對你的丈夫也同樣使用--清晰明瞭的稱讚比私底下模糊不清的讚美更加有效。"說一些具體的事情可以營造氣氛，也會讓另一半瞭解你爲什麼會傾慕於他，"這能加強你們之間的火花碰撞，勒納補充道。TURN CHORES INTO FAVORS
把家務活變成趣事兒
In this Lean In world, you'd think we'd have figured out how to split household tasks 50-50. But there's still a good chance that's not the case in your home. "Sometimes women let things manifest and we become passive-aggressive," says Syrtash. "Men prefer a more direct approach, so just say, 'Okay, let's tackle this. Here's what needs to be done.'" Most men want to be part of the solution, so if your husband needs a little extra push, put a reward on the line.
在這樣一個全球都做志願者的時代，你可能會想着去平分家務活兒。但很有可能你的家裏並不是這個情況。"有時候女性會放大一些事情，我們就會被激怒，" Syrtash說道。"男人更喜歡直接一點的方法，所以直接說'好的，我們一起解決這個問題吧。現在需要做這些事。'"很多男人都想參與到解決問題的過程中，所以如果你的丈夫需要別人推一把，那你就給他提出一點獎勵好了。
