爸爸講起冷笑話來,比西伯利亞寒潮更膩害範例
Despite birthday clowns and stand-up comedians dominating the scene, we all know that the best jokesters are dads with their punny humor and groan-inducing quips. Although not everyone is a big fan of that type of comedy gold, there is a certain amount of appreciation any person can have for a well-timed pun. Especially if it's followed by thunderous laughter from the person and the classic finger-guns pose. Scroll down below to see some of the best dad jokes around and don't forget to comment and vote for your favorites.
y, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
今天我的兒子問我“能給我張書籤嗎？”我頓時淚如泉涌。他已經11歲了，仍不知道我的名字叫Brian.So sorry Brian, one day he'll get it!
Brian我真爲你難過，有一天他會明白的。
wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
我妻子說我毫無方向感，爲此她非常生氣。所以我收拾好自己的行李就向右走了。I love this one.
好喜歡這個笑話: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
爸爸：我進城的路上一直在聽收音機，聽說有個女明星剛剛自殺了。MOM: Oh my! Who!?
哦天吶！是誰呀?DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
呃，我不記得了……我記得好像叫Reese什麼什麼吧MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
媽媽: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????DAD: No, it was with a knife……
爸爸：不，好像是用一把刀Groan - nice one!
大笑不止——這個笑話真不錯！you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
你知不知道，第一份法國薯條其實不是在法國誕生的？它們是在希臘誕生的。This was so stupid that i actually laughed out loud.
這個笑話好蠢，我都笑出聲了。a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
如果一個孩子拒絕在午睡時間睡覺，他們會因拘捕獲罪嗎？If the kid wants to avoid a rest, he should go under cover ;)
如果那孩子想逃避追捕，他應該尋求掩護6.I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
我在讀一本關於反重力的書。我無法把它放下來！You must obey gravity, it's the law
你不能違抗重力，這是自然法則。do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
你怎麼稱呼一個既沒有身體，也沒有鼻子的人？沒人知道What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.
你怎麼稱呼一隻沒有眼睛的鹿？我也不知道。8.I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.
我在亞馬遜上訂購了一隻雞，一個雞蛋。我會讓你們知道結果的。Eggs still came first, but for another reason. The first chicken had to come out of a chicken egg as it would otherwise not be called that. The animal that lay it however, does not nessecarily had to be a chicken (yet).
肯定是先有蛋，纔有雞。不過我有新的解釋。第一隻雞肯定是從雞蛋裏孵出來的，否則“雞蛋”就不叫“雞蛋”了。而下蛋的動物並不一定是雞（或許還沒進化成雞）。is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language.
世界上最少人使用的語言是哪種語言？手語。You got me.
戳中我的笑點。daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?" What a strange way to start a conversation with me..
我女兒對我尖叫說，“爸——爸，我說的話你一個字都沒聽到，對不對？”想跟爸爸說話，一開始就來這樣一句，真奇怪啊!Nice one!
這個笑話不錯！11.A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
在牙買加，一份蘋果派的價格是2.5美元，在巴哈馬羣島是3美元。由此可以知道加勒比海沿岸的派的價格。Ha!Nice
不錯wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
我妻子想用一隻手解開我女兒身上的安全帶，她說“那些只有一條胳膊的媽媽是怎麼做到這件事的呢？”我不失時機的回覆到，“獨自一個人做到。”Ha!That was just before she swiped at you
她聽完一定會錘你。ice is a dish best served cold, if it were served warm it would be justwater.
正義應該是一道冷盤。如果它是一道熱菜，它就應該寫作justwaterTook me a few secs to get it but, well done.
我想了一會兒才明白過來，幹得好！friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.
我的朋友一直對我說，“兄弟，振作起來！你的情況已經算不錯了！幸好你不是被困在地下一個注滿水的洞裏！”我知道他是一番好意。A well is an underground hole full of water.
“井”就是地下注滿水的洞。: "How do I look?" DAD: "With your eyes."
媽媽：“我看起來怎麼樣？”爸爸：“用你的眼睛啊！”I need to use this for every person that asks me this question
我會對每個向我問這個問題的人這樣回答。
